GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS KILLER BOOK

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Neddie Jingo

POINT A

BG, may I just take this moment to point out that you Rock with a steadfastness borne of a heart forged in steel and a pair of ovaries the size of cantaloupes? And that we need you out there, preaching Truth, in a way that makes Vanity Fair gnash its orthodontially perfect Hiltonian teeth and rue the day it ever hired that punk-ass Wolcott piker over Blue Girl In a Red State?

And furthermore that Vanity Fucking Fair fails spectacularly to Rock, with a pusillanimity borne of a heart forged in three-day-old yoghurt and an editor of the depth of the June 1989 issue of Spy?

POINT B

(Well, there was that Deep Throat thing a few days ago, I suppose, but that's certainly not going to get Vanity Fair added to my Blogroll.)

POINT A AGAIN:

Blue Girl in a Red State Rocks harder, more inexorably, and certainly more coruscatingly than any old miserable magazine named after some thick-assed William Makepeace Thackeray piece o' crap. You can take that to the BANK, Jackson.

Jeff Shaumeyer

A: Tsk, I came to sneer at the punctuation and judge. Alas, the punctuation is nearer funtional than decorative, not at all the horror that I was hoping for, not even the superfluity of commas I had been led to expect!

To correct this, you might pay more attention, say, to misusing apostrophe's, a relatively easy on-ramp to the non-functional punctuation highway, notably through faulty plural's. Of course, there's always fun with homonyms (except for homonymphobes): to, too, two; they're, their, there; etc. (My favorite, hand-written sign ever, atop a rack of dresses on sale: "Names To Famous Too Mention!") Unfortunately, people are often willing to give the benefit of the doubt with those.

I'm afraid we must disagree about Mr. Wolcott -- I think I'd enjoy the advertising copy more -- although the trackbacks themselves were priceless in their haiku-esque poetry about "asian she-males" and "teen tits". Perhaps I'll stop complaining about Arianna's blog's spelling and punctuation casualties and offer to be Vainity Fair's trackback skimmer.

-->B: I smiled and pondered.

blue girl

Jeff! Oh, my! I didn't read those trackbacks! What a marketing strategy for those heathens!

That was to much! I mean....too much!

Regarding misusing apostrophes. I think I've got that down. Except the plurals, when they end in "s" -- I just always guess and throw caution to the wind!

I always have a problem choosing between affect and effect, though. And what about this: do you use a comma before the word "too" -- at the end of a sentence?

I've seen it both ways. Maybe both are acceptable.

Thanks for stopping by! Come again soon!


Neddie: I would be WAY more fun at the Oscar Party FOR SURE!

The Heretik

Okay. Take you time. Worth the wait.

Jeff Shaumeyer

Well, it's been awhile, but I'm still moving faster than that Australian experiment measuring the flow of tar through a funnel -- one drop every nine years.
It's true that a comma before the "too" was always used in earlier, more gentle times, but standards seem to have slipped in recent years. I guess my feeling is that if it's always used, it's redundant and can be dispensed with, which I now tend to do. Dispense with it, that is.
The difference between "effect" and "affect" can be too confusing, especially since they seem the other way around when it's the verb rather than the noun. When I'm faced with a problem like that, I rewrite the sentence to avoid the word altogether.
But don't take my word for anything. As I've gotten older, I've rebelled against the idea that the punctuation must always go inside the quotation marks. Ick! I only do that now if the punctuation is part of the original and to be retained. See: with practice, one can become more anal retentive.

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