GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS KILLER BOOK

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res publica

Okay, that's the best gingerbread person ever. He/she is FAT! Like obese! Also PHAT, like rad! Totally awesome. Yeah, I'll take your challenge. BRING IT ON!!

I really am pretty good at baking, because I can use both my artistic love-of-cooking side and my sciency lets-build-a-network side. It all combines to create some blasphemous hybrid of Alton Brown and Julia Child, but gay. Which may be redundant in either case, but that's another story. The point is, I don't think I'm being immodest when I say that I can bake my ass off!

grishaxxx

I want in on this, too (as I noted at res's place), but can I do something yeasty and kneaded instead of cookies or cakes? I'm that kind of baker.

blue girl

Happy Holidays, Grisha!

Of course you can join in the fun of kicking Res's behind. You must post pictures though!!

Just a warning -- the photography I post of my baking extravaganzas is going to be simple amaaaaazing.

Hence and Thus, I want a "Holiday Cookie Photography" category.

blue girl

Question -- who's going to be the judge?

We have to figure that out -- that's an important part of a... (fingers making the quotation sign) -- contest...

res publica

Excellent food photography will NOT be tolerated. That's extremely unfair, as it can make any old crappy food look good.

Grishaxxx, I *guess* yeast products are okay, but that's sort of apples-and-oranges, to my mind. I occasionally bake bread, and I sort of think that the simplest yeast bread is really more of an acheivement than the most complex cookie. Bread is freakin' ALIVE.

Blue: judges? Sheesh, competitive much? It's freaking CHRISTMAS!! Maybe we can get Pinko and UC to judge. Pinko's a communist and UC is Jewish, so they're fairly objective about xmas pastries, I think.

res publica

Hey, did you actually make that gingerbread person?

blue girl

Not only do we have to have a judge -- we have to have "rules."

Are we going to have a "date" when our photos have to be up and then PP and UC will cruise all the blog participants and then reward the winner with an all-expense paid trip to an exotic location???

Troy wants to do this, too -- so we have to update him. Res -- you need to figure these rules and and do a post!

(Sans smart-ass remarks, pleez. No, I take that back, your smart ass remarks are why I love you)

:)

Troy

I like your idea of a prize, BG. And I'm off of work from the 16th on, so I'll have plenty of time for baking then. Rules, rules, we don't need no stinking rules...aside from it actually having to be homemade, I think.

BTW...the new townhouse looks like it rocks :)

grishaxxx

I have a holiday family meet on the 22nd, and I can get good shots there (not having a cam, myself). However, check out Lindsey's shots for her T-Day food glamour.
[I tried to code this porperly, and couldn't:
http://majikthise.typepad.com/majikthise_/2005/11/thanksgiving_al.html
Now, the Adorable Girlfriend raised (as they say) Babka into the mix - that I can handle! I have long needed a baba or charlotte mold (or molds) anyway, so this may be the time. It's the yeast that draws me - as res notes (and he's right), it's ALIVE!!!!

Lance Mannion

I volunteer for judge. FedEx your cookies here as they come out of the oven.

blue girl

Grisha, I'm not sure that I've ever had Babka. But, boy -- it's a word I just love to say! Babka!

Wasn't that a Seinfeld thing? I believe it was the *last* chocolate Babka?

How fun is that word? Kind of like babooshka.

"She wore her babooshka as she ate her chocolate babka."

dorsano

:)

grishaxxx

BG - yup! Chocolate babka/Seinfeld - a classic!
Lance - there is a colloquy over at res's about shipping goodies - it's not difficult, unless freshly piped whipped cream is involved (or, indeed, any kind of whipped cream...). But we can work around that. We should all remember to save all those air-filled bags that cushion stuff from amazon and re-use them for just such an occasion as this.
The yeast doughs, I love them for their resilience, their inner moisture, their keeping qualities. Not that these are foreign to the long-baked, crisp and confident cookies - by no means! You be the judge, on the merits.
-------
And, now, Peggy Noonan just showed up on TDS - fuck, why do I want to do something unspeakable - if not to, in front of - that woman? Is it the sanctimony or the smarm? Arghhh!

res publica

I should just go ahead and tell everyone that technical requirements of shipping cookies pretty much sound like something I'm way too lazy to ever even think about doing. I will, however, stuff a cookie in an envelope and address it to Lance with a regular stamp. Good luck with that.

As re: all these rules and stuff, sheesh, somebody (*cough*Blue*cough*) needs to cool her jets. However, I guess we can set a deadline. I really only have time for serious baking on the weekend, and the the Christmas tree apparently isn't going to decorate itself, the fact that I conveniently placed the decorations right next to it not withstanding.

Why don't we let the contest run through Christmas, or Christmas Eve day?

blue girl

Oh....so we're engaging in *serious* baking?

Hmmph.

It would be really funny if we would all just stuff one cookie (or a slice of whatever is baked) in a #10 envelope and send it through the mail to Lance to judge.

Res, I've been meaning to tell you -- your cat *may* try to climb your tree -- fyi. Also, don't hang any ornaments so low that she starts whacking them around -- because she will.

Your cookies may rule me, but your cat will totally rule you through the holiday season.

res publica

My cat already rules me,and believe me, she's a cruel mistress, but yeah, I've heard horror stories about cats and trees. My aunt was like "be sure to run a fishing line from the top of the tree to the ceiling". I was like...umm...why? TO KEEP IT FROM FALLING OVER WHEN THE CAT CLIMBS ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP, OF COURSE! God. Apparently, she learned that lesson the hard way a couple of years back. She also said to just expect the occasional broken ornament or two, which I can live with. None of my christmas decorations are precious heirlooms or anything...they're mostly from Target.

I've had the tree up for a week now - I wanted to see how she would act with it - and although there has been some lower-branch-chewing, she hasn't shown any inclination to climb it. Yet. It may be a whole different story once it's covered with dangling shiney glass things.

grishaxxx

Smart kitty!
I need 12/22 as a deadline (that's gotta be the masterpiece shoot - and it will be posted instantaneously...), so unless you other horsies get really antsy, and want to run the course, have a workout.. ("...like to get out in front, open up a little lead, take a little breather in the backstretch, and then come home free.") - be my guest.

res publica

the 22nd is good for me as well. I'm off work the 19th and 20th, which gives me a 4-day weekend with which to dominate you all with my cookies.

grishaxxx

Ooooo - domination! How about Total Domination (I'm an old Raiders fan...)?
Then we can pass out cookies in Dore Alley. For the Boys.
And bg, you can be our Den Mother...:-)

grishaxxx

I am thrilled by the presentation aspect of all this. My sister's house is crammed with every kind of tchotske (it's like walking into a fucking shop...), so I can go glam-glam or do the full-frontal Avedon white-background-and-brutal-truth-telling-lighting thingy. Take that, babka!
I am soooo excited!

Troy

BG...I'll be sure that you actually receive some of our baked goods in the mail, provided I make it to the post office. I sent tamales over to Germany a few years ago, so baked goodies in the States can't be that hard. Well, if I get the motivation to mail them, you know?

blue girl

Grisha! I'm so excited you're excited! I love this kind of thing. -- !

Troy -- that would be great. Did you read Res's comment above? He's just going to shove a cookie in an envelope.

:)

grishaxxx

BG - I will be ready even earlier! They (my insane family) has now moved shit to the 18th; play my cards right and I will make 2 and FedEx to the Mannions by Xmas (or whatever the Mannions celebrate....:-P). Formal comp can occur anytime after that Sunday - I will have pics and stuff.
Yes, I am nuts. :-)

res publica

Yeah, Troy's one of those detail-oriented gays. I'm totally not. He's all Mr. Project. But hey, the cookie you get from me may not look that great, but it will be DELICIOUS! Or you can just wait for the pictures.

res publica

And the last time I checked, this was not a cookie-mailing-off. It was a BAKE OFF!

Troy

Yes, I'm fairly detail oriented, but I totally suck at cleaning...

And I told Res last night as we were shopping exactly where he could stick his cookies.

grishaxxx

res, res, res - I know it's a bake-off (with pics), and not a Mail-Off (which would be insane - tho also kinda neat ...). And maybe I am letting my little Inner Competitor out on too long a leash, but a babka is a babka and even wrapped in a Hermès scarf, is not going to be as sexy as the cookie-art you and BG have been tempting us with. UC and Lance ( my budget limits me to 2 recipient judges) will just have to back up looks with a flavor sample. Is that unfair?

Dr. Light

I used to consider myself a top notch baker, but it turns out after basic cookies and cheese cakes I can't really make anything worth while. My cheese cake is to die for, though.

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