Interrupting Peace and Love For Just A Minute

There is a very annoying thing that goes on in the blogosphere.  The first couple of times I experienced it, I just chalked it up to, "Well there are small minded people everywhere, I guess."  But enough is enough!

And that annoying thing is this:

People who comment on someone's post and instead of commenting on the idea of the post, they pick apart the grammar or the spelling.

Give it up  Cobags!!!1!!!1 -- as Pinko would say. 

Or should I say:  "As Pinko would write?"  Or should I write:  "As Pinko would comment?"

And yes, I quote Pinko because he was chastised earlier this fall for using, ahem, too many exclamation points!11!!!1!!!1

So what!!11!!!

If you are dissing Pinko's slammer usage, then you don't know Pinko.  Got that, cobags??!!1!!??

For Pete's sake, get a life -- or better yet -- get a blog!!1!!

I haven't checked every single time I've seen it happen, but the times that I have checked, the people who do this DO NOT HAVE A BLOG THEMSELVES.

So, until you do, and until you achieve absolute total perfection of all things grammatical and spellitical (!), Shut UP!

I've seen this happen to Res at Republic of Dogs.

I've seen this happen to Lance Mannion!  (OMG, do you know how much time Mannion puts into his writing?  You should thank him and leave your Nazi-like snarkitude at the digital door.)

I've even seen this happen to Jeddie Ningo!~!-!-!  (Yes, I'm putting dashes between my slammers!  I'm totally thinking outside the language arts' box.)

And yes, I typed "Jeddie Ningo" instead of his correct handle, "Neddie Jingo."  OMG!!1!!!1

I should also add this:  This post is not directed at my regular readers, because you are all sooooooo nice and thoughtful and absolutely perfect in all things you say and do at this blog...I mean write at this blog.  This post is directed at people who will never read it because they read other blogs, not this one.

But, still.

So, ok.  That's all I've got to say about all of *you* and you're ways of commenting about other people's grammatical and spelling errors.

And, oh my!  Did I just type "you're" instead of the proper spelling of "your?"

Well, as Jedmunds would say/type/write:  "Suck it grammar freaks."

Comments

[res publica]

THANK YOU!!! I'm like...BLOGGER IS FREE! GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLOG, IF YOUR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR IS SO DAMN PERFECT! Okay, I'll stop yelling now, but man do I ever feel ya on this one.

[res publica]

(Yes, I'm putting dashes between my slammers! I'm totally thinking outside the language arts' box.)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that made me laugh really hard. I love thinking "outside" the "box" with "air quotes".

And you're right, it's always the new visitor, all full of sass and righteousness. Can you imagine correcting Lance Manion? He's like Blog Jesus. Would you tell Jesus he needs a haircut? I mean, yeah, it might be TRUE, but...HELLO....he's JESUS!

[dorsano]

Inspired writing. :)

[Jedmunds]

Actually they're tilde-bangs.

[res publica]

Tilde-bangs....that sounds FUN. And NASTY!

[NeddieJingo]

I tilde-bang Wonder Woman this morning after the kids got on the bus, but she had her period and told me to stick it in my colon. Now I've got the Blue Umlauts somethin' fierce. We just ain't clicka in the old sack these days, knowhumsayin.

The person who snotted off to me on matters grammatickal did have a blog, but comments were suppressed. Puckin' Fussy.

Jesus *could* use a bit of a trim.... Just sayin'.

[grishaxxx]

O fuck - it's bad enough I have to sweat copy-editing my own shit (with all my favorite parentheticals, and ellipses...and other mid-and-afterthoughts)!!!
Everyone knows that spellcheckers won't catch properly spelled homonyms - I have wondered, pretty often, whether some bloggers are using voice-recog utlities and are dictating, but, again, so what if they are? They post more content when they don't get all lapidary with it, as I can all too easily. Indeed, I envy them their insouciance in the face of pesky, scoldy correctors.
Still, it's fun to piss them off...isn't it?!? :-)

[Pinko Punko]

I totally agree. I do have a pet peeve about your/you're and to/too and when the big boys (Talking Points Memo etc.) also, most of my typos are typing the wrong word their/there, here/hear, and what bugs me is I never did that before blogging. There is something different about the way I compose posts where my mind gets sloppy. It happens in e-mails too, and Dear god I just don't want to hose myself with my boss. I'm allowed to be a dunce on the interweb, but not at work.

Also I am bugged by:

"hypocrasy"

that is all. COBAGS EAT IT!@!!!!1!!!

BG, you really are a gem.

[blue girl]

Pinko...I COMPLETELY know what you mean about misspelling words or using the wrong word, etc. when blogging -- I do that ALL THE TIME!! I don't know what that is.

What IS that?

I post on a newish laptop -- and the keyboard is really small -- so I chalk alot of typos up to that -- but, still -- that wouldn't make me use the wrong word.

'Tis a mystery --

[Jedmunds]

Did my "correction" above go over as intended? That is - COMPLETELY SERIOUSLY~!

[Jedmunds]

also, Pinko, noticing and being annoyed by such things afflicts everybody. The need to point it out, thought doesn't. So don't worry, we still like you, even though you just let us know that you're quietly judging our grammar.

[Indy]

Back in they day, i was dating this english major who would occasionally bust loose with a corrective like that...there was a pair of deeply odd people in one of her classess that would rant about how bad the Washington Post was, how sloppy in punctuation and grammer- she asked'em if they'd ever written in- she said that the WaPo was sick of her angry corrective letters.

Those who cannot do, teach, those who cannot teach mindlessly obssess over grammer, having no interest or ability in comprehending actual content.

[R. Mildred]

Only someone who'd never surfed the darkest depths of fanfiction could post this.

Seriously, don't you know that grammar whores are the only things keeping the orcish hordes who write dickgirl sailor moon self-insert mary sue porn fiction at bay!?!?!?!?!!?!!!!1!!!1!!?

Just don't come crying to us when ALLCAPS rugrat slash fics start ravishing your home town.

[Viv]

NOT RUGRATS SLASH FIC!!!1!! Noooooooooo!

Your all preverts on this Interweb, I tell you, looking for to steal our precious bodily fluids.

[Gregor Samsa]

I would like to ask for the following exception to this rule: when the intent of such flames is to degrade someone in a "witty" way about inconsequential errors, such flames shall be allowed at Blue Girl's discretion.

For example Pinko Punko and F.M. Asshat were teasing me about my confusion of "know" and "no" the other day and quite frankly, even though I was at the butt end of their barbs, I loved ever bit of it. http://www.haloscan.com/comments/kaplancd/113337103862692449/#56402

Also I think that we should be able to tease Res about his dinnerware selection since that is the only avenue available to provide him with the mocking that he so richly deserves.

Thanks for your consideration.

[blue girl]

Oh yes, Gregor -- needling one in the spirit that is appropriate is always allowed.

It's hard to put into words the ones that I am writing about.

When you *know* -- you just *know.*

And people who don't *know* -- I'm sorry to say, will never *know.*

[Lance Mannion]

Preciate the sediments here, and thankx fer the defense. But I'm a turrble spellur and louzy tipyst and often blog drunk, shtoned, or shomnambulatingting so I don't mind being corrected from time to time. Keeps me on my toes.

[blue girl]

So Mannion -- let's consider:

You don't get scared at all when thugs try to mug you at knife-point.

And you take no offense when people nit-pick your spelling and/or typos.

Hmmm.

Makes me think that when I'm aggravated at things both large and small I should take a deep breath and wonder:

WWLMD?

[Lance Mannion]

You're missing the obvious, BG.

I'm a superhero, that's all.

[cali dem]

I, er, luved this!~~!~~!

[blue girl]

Thanks, Cali!!11!!!11!!m -- !~1

[Gregor Samsa]

Now tildes between exclamation points is just wrong.

[blue girl]

Yes Jedmunds -- I got it -- at first I wasn't sure if you were talking about Mannion's Jesus bangs or !~! tilde~bangs!

[John E Thelin]

What staggers me is that people like jedmunds could never ever consider that grammarian postings could *possibly* be about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. I Just have this weird thing where I am *grateful* when someone points out a glaring error in one of my blog posts, because A) then I can fix it and B) maybe I can learn something from it. Funny, huh?

But, no. It's *got* to be about some superiority complex. Pardon me if I point out that my need to feel superior to jedmunds - whom I know only as a new Pandagon poster - is precisely zero. But I like Pandagon, and whether jedmunds et. al. are comfortable with it or not - some part of the credibility of any argument is going to hinge on how well you make that argument, and grammar is a major component.

If you don't care, fine. But then I have to question your commitment to blogging about serious issues on a blog read by people other than your closest friends.

But above all: please don't try to drum up support for your whiny fake martyrhood where you're being beset by smug and evil people who point out that your errors make you look sloppy - at best.

[blue girl]

First of all Mr. Thelin -- just relax and lighten up a tad. All kids must *play nice* in blue girl's sandbox.

And it seems that we could become the closest of friends! Afterall, you picked up on my "whiny fake martyhood" right away! And that was just reading a blue girl post for the very first time -- filled with tilde-bangs~!

***

p.s. I couldn't find "martyrhood" in the dictionary -- but all forgiven because 1) you are my new closest friend, and 2) I *knew* what you meant~!

[Becks]

I recently had a *corrective* experience- not on something I wrote, but in a library book. I had checked out a book and was happily reading it when about page 5, I noticed that someone had begun to *edit* the grammar used by the author. It just cracked me up that someone is reading along and decides to fix all the grammatical errors in the dialogue of a work of fiction – totally heedless of the fact that the “errors” were dead on and right for the voice of the character. By the half way point- the mysterious guest editor started in with comments in the margins like “author should know better than this” and “why is so and so acting so out of character?” and crap like that. Left me completely hysterical. Is this some hobby I have never heard about? Just asking…

[blue girl]

Becks! That is crazy! I'll do a post and ask people if they've ever heard of such a thing or if they themselves do such a thing.

I'm surprised you could finish the book -- or were more finishing it so you could see what that person wrote?

[Pepper]

YEAH?!?@*$&!O$*)#$#$ (Gee, that looks a lot like I'm cussing ...)

Um, I've been itching to ask this, as I love Punko and Punko's Posse, but I didn't want to sound like a tool. What's a cobag?

(runs away in totally uncool embarrassment)

[Gregor Samsa]

Here you go Pepper...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cobag

[Linkmeister]

Becks, BG:

It's called marginalia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marginalia), and it's a major problem for libraries, believe it or not. One of the first hits in a Google search for the word is a library site (http://www.lib.cam.ac.uk/marginalia/) explaining the phenomenon and what's being done to educate the public.

All that said, when I find a book at a used bookstore with notes in the margins, reading it is often a great source of amusement.

Separately, the one grammatical error which drives me nuts is "peddle" v. "pedal." See here:
http://www.linkmeister.com/blog/archives/001658.html

[Pepper]

Thank you Gregor! Defined by Pinko Punko no less!

I have SEEN THE LIGHT!