This week has been a nightmare. Mainly because somebody jinxed me and I developed a very strange sleep pattern. (I cannot read or think too much about sleep. It screws me up.) Every night fell asleep around 11:45 p.m. and woke up at 3:15 a.m. in a panic that I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Worrying that I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I would get up, open the laptop to see if anyone was blogging. Most normal people do not post anything on their blogs in the middle of the night, (Damn you all! -- don't you know you are there to entertain me 24/7? And be grateful I referred to each of you as normal!) so I would venture off into parts unknown. So weary, I went to read Michelle Malkin! I even hit on a site called Shoot A Liberal. Just pathetic.
Huh? What did you just say? Who's pathetic? Them or Me? Well, all I've got to say about that is -- if you'd just be a little more committed to your craft, I wouldn't find myself so desperate at 4:00 a.m., now would I?
The guys over at Shoot A Liberal are the kind of rightwingers who think they're funny. Let me tell you, they wouldn't know funny if it laughed in their faces. My blogging buddies are funny. But, hey. Looks aren't everything. Heh.
Shoot a Liberal had a post introducing a new rightwing blogger. They were so excited! Chuckles, Freelance Genius (one of us) left a comment there:
Traitors, blah blah.
Monkeys, blah blah.
Immigrants, blah blah.
Democrats, blah blah.
American Worker, blah blah.
Terrorists Win, blah blah.
Then he left a second comment:
Sorry, I forgot:
ACLU, blah blah.
I think his comments made the goofs at Shoot A Liberal mad. But Chuckles made me cackle, so I went to check out his blog and read this:
She had given me the once over, but I was sure that she hadn't gotten a good look, so I made a comment about carbs and pretzels. She said that she hadn't eaten in a month and had dropped 20 pounds so what did she care about carbs? I responded with jeez, I just thought that's what people said these days. This resulted in more banter and then the introductions and wild sex.*
I knew what that asterisk meant without even having to read it at the bottom of the post. That little paragraph above reminded me of a post by Papa Bill:
I was 17, driving along with very little on my mind (I do that a lot) when I saw an attractive young girl in a convertible pulled over to the side of the road. This was a great situation, my fantasy went, I'd save the fair damsel and with any luck she'd reward me with ... sexual favors.
Humor me for a minute ... what is with you boys? How does your mind go from carbs or changing a tire to sex in less than three seconds?
Then I quickly learned it's just not the boys.
I discovered a new blogger this week. Tonya at exilednomore. She had a quick post introducing a new blogger she had just blogrolled, A Sideways Look at Womanhood. Tonya suggested all girls go pay a visit, but wrote to make sure to read a post called Cybersex first.
She suggested it.
I had to oblige.
Just trying to be a friendly blogger.
This is all I feel that I can safely repeat of that post:
Mind numbingly bored, and having exhausted all areas of stimulation, I cautiously typed the words "adult chat" into my Google search box, if for nothing more than to satisfy my curiosity.
Let's just say that there weren't very many innocent words like carbs or tires in that post. And we'll leave it at that.
As the sun was starting to come up, I decided to check in on one of my favorite rightwing nutcases. Who, by the way, has had almost 900,000 visitors. Seems like all of you could not only be writing a little bit more for blue girl, but maybe visiting a little more often, too? Aren't my words enough? Do I have to post a photo of me in a SuperMan costume? Boys.
Needless to say, it bored me so that I began to yawn. I turned the laptop off and went downstairs and turned on MSNBC. And as I drifted off all I could hear the newscaster saying was, immigrants, ACLU, terrorists ... blah, blah, blah. What a nightmare.