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BOSSY

He thinks that's High Maintenance? Whenever I'm out late - think bars and bands - and i get in that after hours Diner mood, I'll order the following: A water, a hot chocolate, a soda, and maybe a glass of fresh orange juice if I'm about to eat a middle-of-the-night breakfast.

Brando

Thank you for using the proper term "pop." These people with their sodas or, God forbid, "Coke" for everything, need to learn how to properly label their carbonated soft drinks.

DuWayne

Ahh, the mystery that is woman. . .

I recently went out with a woman whom I lacked any romantic interest in. The reason I thought we were getting together was to discuss a kid at our church whom she was having some trouble with, one of the kids that I mentor. Who we did in fact discuss for about ten minutes before we started to talk about her and then me. I flat made it clear that I am enjoying being single and wouldn't likely date conservative if I was dating. I was infinately, if politely, clear that I would not be an option for dating for more than one reason.

Apparently she thought that I meant I wouldn't be keen on dating anyone and especialy conservatives - except maybe her. She subsequently barraged me with e-mails seeking my opinion on pre-marital sex, why men act the way they do and when we might go ou again - especialy when we could go out for another date.

I have explained that I have no time for relationships, focusing my energy on being the best single dad I can be. I explained that I spet way to long whoring around and am enjoying a extended break from romance or sexual encounters. I explained that I hold some rather liberal priciples and lack comprehention of how people can believe otherwise on some fundemental points where her beliefs are polar opposite my own.

She is home from college for the summer so I get less mail from her but the very last one, about a week ago was wondering if I might be available for a date the day she comes back - we could have lunch with her parents and dinner alone. . .And why do so many men think it's ok to have sex when they aren't even in a relationship, while you don't. I don't think she actually reads what I write back to her. I have made it clear that I don't really object to such liasons.

That is what I always thought high maintenence meant. Mutiple beverages or indescisiveness about icecream flavors (my son's mom's trip) is just the sort of thing that lends amusment to a relationship.

The Fat Lady Sings

Good god, DuWayne - that's not high maintenance - that's a stalker! Great googely-moogely - what is wrong with some people? Male or female - no definitively means no - unequivocally, no reservations, get out of my fucking face NO. Sheeesh! And Blue Girl - you've get a hubby with a great sense of humor there. And he must know you really, really well. Anyone who has the balls to call a woman 'high maintenance' to her face either has a death wish - or knows how to tickle his lady's funny-bone in an extra-good way!

Chrys

BG, as a native New Yorker, if you want to practice being a New Yorker, you must say "orange soda", not "orange pop" if you want a drink. In NY, an orange pop is an ice cream pop. Once you've got that straightened out, you'll fit right in here! :)

Lance Mannion

Pop?

You can't mooooove here and call it pop.

They drink sodas in the big city.

Wanting a soda...pop!...before a cup of coffee doesn't sound like a high maintenace item. Are you leaving out some backstory here? What else happened on the drive home. I supsect Mr. Blue Girl's side of things is getting short changed.

Pop.

Jeez.

blue girl

DuWayne, I agree with TFLS. And with you -- she must not be reading your emails well enough. She's young -- she probably thinks she can change you with her extra-specialness or something. Just email her back next time and go...Sorry! You've got the wrong number! Ba-bye.

Chrys, what's an ice cream pop? A popsicle? You East Coast elites and your beverage lingo!

Brando knows where I'm comin' from.

Mannion, could've had something to do with me being on a diet and starving to death in the car. I was reading every billboard out loud...

Best chili in the world!

Order the bisque! The lobster bisque!

Double cheeseburgers! Only $1.29!

And then inbetween that -- whining that my back hurt and asking...are we almost there yet?

He told me to "get out" several times.

:)

Jennifer

It is indeed POP... no soda, no "I'll have an orange Coke".

Larry Jones

Cows, huh? Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Brando

Keep in mind that New Yorkers think that flimsy greaseboard they call pizza is edible ;-)

Slices of deep dish and cans of pop all around!

Chrys

BG...an ice cream pop can be any type of ice cream on a stick...an ice pop, a creamsicle, an ice cream pop.

But no, soda should NEVER be called pop any place east of Pennsylvania! That's written in stone, btw.

Michael Bains

As a one-time, 3 week long resident of the Left Coast, I've made it a personal poseur preferance to call it all Coke. (No ice, please.) Well, the mid-western politeness ain't ne'er goin' away, at any rate.

And BG, I have to think it's not the Cows themselves that are so distasteful. It's the smell of what comes out of 'em and gets spread all o'er the fields that gave me the final impetus needed to move east to C-Town for at least some semblance of City Life.

But wasn't Kelley's worth it? {-;

almostinfamous

i'm with brando here.

SODA is two(hah) many syllables. pop is barely one.

and pizza needs some dough. otherwise you might as well put cheese on a giant cracker and call it a 'za

almostinfamous

and BG, do not plan on coming to india if you don't like cows on the roads.

blue girl

Yeah, *soda* sounds soooo Mayberry RFD-ish. Like there would be cows at every turn.

*Pop's* got more pizzaz - more snap to it's crackle.

Hey, I think the Midwest might be *right* about something.

:)

Jennifer

Chrys- "written in stone"... west of Pennsylvania we say, "written in rock"... ;)

Brando- yes, you're right, their pizza is really nothing more than a coaster for our pop!

BG- having been up in WI recently (smell our dairy air), I had a new appreciation for the Holstein. It has become the symbol of country quaint, but really it's rather graphically brazen! You have all of this lush green and red barns (colors with the same value) and then you have this bold black and white animal practically screaming it's rebellion. I think they deserve a little more respect just for making the bold graphic statement. Of course... you may not have been looking at a Holstein... it may have been a boring old Jersey...

blue girl

I don't know one cow from another, and it was dark and I could only see, like a silhouette of it, but it looked boring and it did NOT look like it fit in in Greenwich Village at all.

I guess it could've fit in in the meatpacking district, just in a different form. -- :)

MB, yes Kelleys Island was worth it. It's so cool up there! I don't know why we don't go up there more often.

Chrys

Jennifer, "their pizza is really nothing more than a coaster for our pop!" Them's fightin' words!

Lance, HELP!!!!! I need backup!

Lance Mannion

I can't defend New York City pizza against Chicago pizza. I've never had Ohio pizza. I did have to survive on Indiana pizza for six years. In Fort Wayne an Italian neighborhood is any neighborhood with two Pizza Huts.

Having lived in Iowa and then Indiana I say that no one who lives where there are lots of cows and corn gets to claim Chicago street cred, just because Chicago is technically in the Midwest along with the cows and the corn, just as no one in Syracuse, NY gets to play at Manhattan chic or Brooklyn tough just because all three places are in New York State.

BG, in the real Mayberry they'd have called everything a Coke. On the TV show, I'll bet Barney asked Lu Anne out for a pop, unless he wanted to take her to the malt shop, then he might have said a soda, meaning an ice cream soda.

Pop is what people who like to be among the cows and the corn drink.

Soda is what you have with a hot dog from a cart on the Columbus Circle corner of Central Park on a beautiful summer day.

blue girl

Hey! I live in Ohio where there are cows when you go through a McDonald's drivethru and I totally can claim Manhattan chic.

Sometimes I can even claim Brooklyn tough, but only when I'm in a certain mood.

I'm so hungry that I'd go for any pizza right about now. Even the Fort Wayne version.

Jennifer

"Pop is what people who like to be among the cows and the corn drink."

Ouch! Hey!!! I say "pop" and lived in Chicago proper for 14 years and the only cows I saw were the "art cows" on the street.

As for living in Fort Wayne, you have my sympathies...

BG- you don't want Fort Wayne pizza...

Lance Mannion

Brando, is the Brown Bottle still open? Once upon a time they were said to serve the best pizza in Iowa City. But there was a place on the corner of E. Bloomington and Linn that I thought was better.

blue girl

Oh, I don't care about pizza -- it could be anything. I'm not picky when it comes to food.

Don't tell Res or Pinko. I'll never hear the end of it. They got all twitchy once when I wrote about a certain salsa that didn't meet their standards. And God knows they have issues cuz I don't know how to use Sage correctly.

When I live in Manhattan, I'm going to have my own personal chef. He'll/she'll have total freedom!

Lance Mannion

Oh, and BG, in New York State it doesn't start being called pop until you get to Rochester. You have to choose your spiritual kin here. Which is it? Manhattan or Rochester?

blue girl

I'm a rebel.

It'll be pop in Manhattan.

:)

Jennifer

Lance- is it Paglilai's? I may have butchered that spelling...

Lance Mannion

A rebel without a pause.

Jennifer

Pagliai's???

blue girl

Does Pagliai's have great mood lighting? Pretty wine glasses? The right ambiance?

That's all I care about.

Pop or no pop.

Jennifer

I thought all you cared about was the pizza??? Any pizza!

If only you were around cows in IC BG you could then saunter down to the Hamburg Inn and have a nice pie shake chaser! Mmmmmm! No need to chew!

Lance Mannion

Jennifer, it might have been. When were you in Iowa City and why didn't you stop in and say hi?

Jennifer

Lance- I don't recall you stopping and saying hi either.

I was probably intimidated by the fact that you were drinking "soda" in Iowa.

blue girl

Jennifer, what's *IC* - ?

I would saunter for the right ambiance.

:)

Jennifer

Sorry BG. IC is Iowa City.

Lance Mannion

Soda that got put in a "sack" when I bought it at the grocery store, Jen.

I must have stopped by. I did a lot of stopping by to say hi back then. You must have been to shy to say hi back.

More than Iowa City had cows and corn, it had hogs and corn.

blue girl

Can Brando confirm that girls will saunter for pie shake chasers?

I need confirmation.

blue girl

Mannion's showing off by bolding *and* italicizing in this comment thread.

Jennifer

IC did have lots of stanky hogs...

And, I've never called it a sack, at least when referring to a shopping bag.

I am now leaving my ghastly burb to go watch fireworks down in the city of big shoulders where they serve deep dish pizza and pop, but better yet, a cold brew.

Happy 4th everyone! Let's enjoy this country while we still have it!

blue girl

You too, Jennifer!

I'm not feeling especially patriotic right now -- hungry? Yes. Patriotic. Not so much.

Michael Bains

It's hard to defend 'gainst Chicago's pizza, an no doubt about it. Locally, Gepettos is always a good bet, especially for deep dish.

But I can ALWAYS go for Donatos pizza! Great sausage and cow, er hamburger.

Or their classic 100 pieces of pepperoni.

Or the Chicken and Bacon!

All with Xtra Provologne cheese... (absolutely NO mozerella, thank you.) Mmmm... Pizza is for dinner tomorrow, for sure!

OK, BG. I guess I gotta drop the pose, and have it with a couple of Pops as well. {-;

Michael Bains

BTW BG, if you're not feeling patriotic (understandable, 'tis too true) perhaps joining in Glenda's Post for Peace initiative might lift your spirits a little in that regard.

Just a li'l idea.

Bob

We call soda "Bubbly Head Fizz" and we call cows "Funny Cloven Fist Dumpsters" and we call McDonald's "Where Cystular Acne Seethes and Swells Over the Hot French Fry Grease Waiting to Erupt Waiting to Sizzle Waiting to Encrust the Volcanoes of Regret" and umm...sometimes we call the cool kids "stuck ups"

Ranger

Well, I gots no personal blog. Gots no pop, soda or coke, but I gots me two flags and a hell of a crowd heading down the turnpike (NJ?) for a full on cupful of summer and one more "It's my country, too" damn good time. All is forgotten until Wednesday . . .

Ranger

Damn! Forgot to work in saunter, but then there it is.

flawedplan

Heads turn and tongues cluck here in Texas when I order me up a pop. It's the wrong word here and it signifies something evil, you get corrected, knuckle-rapped, total strangers cryin out; Yankee (go home!)

As for high-maintenance, give me 2 anti-depressants and one anti-psychotic and we're good to go.

Kisses!

Adorable Girlfriend

OMG, that was truly brillant. I also love that you have 45 comments! Happy America Day.

Brando

Wow, I guess the IC is the place to be.

Pagliai's is the place for thin crust in this slice of the Big 10 (sorry, couldn't resist). For the thick artery-clogging Chicago experience, I go to the Wig and Pen here.

I can't speak for the girls, but I go wild for the Hamburg pie shake. If they only found a way to deep fry it, I could have the most satisfying heart attack in history.

And despite my current hog-scented location, I have actual Brooklyn (yo), Chicago (da Bears), and Cali (dude) cred. I go Left Coast for burritos, NYC for cocktails, and the Windy City for pizza and a pint of Goose Island.

anita

pheww ... i'm exhausted reading this thread ... all this over a CAN OF SODA.

Claire

This comment thread is hilarious and I'm only reading it now because I'm still catching up on back-blogging I missed while I was away.

1) Pizza in Ohio isn't all that bad, I'm a sucker for Donatos. In Cow-lumbus Tommy's Pizza is the best. Secretly, I don't really care for Chicago pizza. My dad got very upset when I told him this. The hot dogs I could all day long, though.

2) My grandparents own a Hereford farm in N. Ohio. My grandpa once offered me the old farm pickup to take to college. It was a monster of a truck with a HUGE Hereford on the side of the door and the family name. I should have taken it, as the crappy car they did give me was, well, crappy. But parallel parking was a pain as it was in the small car.

Claire

This comment thread is hilarious and I'm only reading it now because I'm still catching up on back-blogging I missed while I was away.

1) Pizza in Ohio isn't all that bad, I'm a sucker for Donatos. In Cow-lumbus Tommy's Pizza is the best. Secretly, I don't really care for Chicago pizza. My dad got very upset when I told him this. The hot dogs I could all day long, though.

2) My grandparents own a Hereford farm in N. Ohio. My grandpa once offered me the old farm pickup to take to college. It was a monster of a truck with a HUGE Hereford on the side of the door and the family name. I should have taken it, as the crappy car they did give me was, well, crappy. But parallel parking was a pain as it was in the small car.

blue girl

Hi Claire, this is my very favorite comment thread ever!

:)

Claire

First I posted my comments too many times and now they have gone. Oh well. :)

blue girl

Hi Claire, Typepad was went KaBlam! yesterday!

I was going to delete my comment to you above -- cuz people were going to think I was talking to myself!

:)

I then I thought....So?

:)

Claire

Hahaha, I just realized that. Apparently I wasn't paying attention enough to think *why* things were acting wonky, I just kept thumping the side of my monitor. Like that would help.

Oh well. I don't remember my commment. Something about my granddad's beef farm and how I almost got a monster pickup with a cow and family name on it to take to college. Oh, and Tommy's pizza in Columbus is the best.

Claire

I think it's funny that my comments disappeared and are now back, thus making me look a little too eager! Oh well!

BG, this comment: I was reading every billboard out loud... made me think of a monologue I did once in a theatre class in high school. The woman was talking about how her husband was reading every sign that they drove by and she was getting ready to kill him. Or something. Was that actually about you? :)

chickymama

OK, after all that about pop and soda and cows and pizza, I think I need a martini. Any takers?

blue girl

Chickymama, you're my kind of -- chickymama!

:)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©

After all these years, Jennifer sent me here.
~

Jennifer

This thread is IMMORTAL!!! :)

It's a classic, thundra... I'm glad you followed the link.

And what?? No arguing for your cracker excuse for a pizza? :)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©

Frankly, I don't feel the need to argue about our pizza superiority, my deer.
~

Jennifer

Blah, blah, blah...

blue girl

EPIC THREAD!

Merry Christmas, Heathens! Don't forget to leave some moooooooo juice and cookies out for Santa!

zombie rotten mcdonald

There is an alarming lack of zombie in these comments. Undead porn spambots do NOT COUNT.

Anyway, I am having a couple of slices of NY-style za from up the street for lunch. Doesn't replace deep dish though.

Jennifer

I made spinach/feta pockets using pizza dough today... the dough part could have been thinner, but don't tell thundra...

And yes, where was TCBPZRM during this???

zombie rotten mcdonald

And yes, where was TCBPZRM during this???

All the spelling and grammar errors probably gave him an aneurysm.

blue girl

All the spelling and grammar errors probably gave him an aneurysm.

So, people were judging each other like crazy in this thread about their pop and pizza choices, and you were just sitting back silently JUDGING ALL OF US?

blue girl

I made spinach/feta pockets using pizza dough

Oooh, that sounds good. Thin dough, fat dough, whatever. It's the *dough* part that counts!

Jennifer

Yeah, people were judging like crazy and yet I don't recall anyone throwing a hissy fit and stomping off. :)

Jennifer

We got snow last night... FYI. Now it looks like December! It can leave in January though...

blue girl

Yeah, I don't remember anyone throwing hissy fits back then. Well, except for Res when I'd kick his behind in something or the other. But, that was to be expected.

blue girl

We got a dusting today. I tried to take pictures of it cuz it's so pretty, all soft and puffy on the trees, but they didn't come out. I stink at taking pictures.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©

We had snow showers this afternoon.

The stars are out big time tonight.
~

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