TP Shenanigans Update

As I walked out the front door a bunch of girls in a red Mustang drove by.  Hanging out the passenger window, the one girl yelled, "Having fun Blue Kid?! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"  Then they honked the horn and sped away.  Blue Kid looked at me and said, "If one more person drives by and laughs at me, I'm going to throw my rake at them!"

"You're not going to throw that rake at anyone."

"No one's helping me!"

"Oh well!"

A neighbor pulled up to discuss the shenanigans.

"You got it good."

"Has this ever happened to you?"

"Our house has been toilet papered so many freaking times, I can't even tell you.  This looks like girls did it.  When boys do it, it's all random and messy.  But, when girls do it, it's perfect.  All even, so thorough.  They might as well tie a huge toilet paper bow around your house when they're done!"

I laughed.  Blue Kid didn't.

"See mom?  It's happened to them a ton of times."

"You!  Stop talking.  Start raking."

Comments

[Claire]

Oh man! And it was wet, too?? I tp'ed a lot in my day, but never got tp'ed. We lived on a busy thoroughfare.

[Larry Jones]

I participated in only one house-papering. And admit it, you did some yourself, right? Mine was at the home of the hated English teacher, in the early morning hours after we graduated from high school. He didn't have any kids, so he probably had to clean it up himself. Now I feel bad about that.

My sister was in a sorority, and I must say it's true: the girls did exquisite work when they vandalized a home. All in good fun, of course.

[Scorpio]

Never TP'd a yard -- though I learned to send spitwads onto the 14 ft ceiling of a dorm room somewhat later.

:)

[blue girl]

I never TP'd a house. AND I never snuck out. Now that's not to say that I'm trying to convey the fact that I was some angel or something. I wasn't. I did my fair share to drive my parents nuts, but I never did those two things.

I was too afraid to sneak out. I always imagined my mom standing in the doorway as I tried to sneak back in. Too horrifying a situation to even contemplate.

Scorpio, We dealt with spitwads a few years back. Everywhere. They were everywhere! I was constantly picking them up!

:)

[almostinfamous]

i never snuck out as a kid though i always had a key to our flat. the city i lived in was dead by about 11pm. our area was dead even earlier, like 9.

where the heck would you go if everything closes by 11 and it takes an hour to get anywhere from where you live? there's no fun in it.

PS: no wonder i have no life...

[Larry Jones]

Yeah, yeah. You don't live in a mansion, you've never snuck out and you've never TP'd a house. Hey, you don't work in the Justice Department, do you?

[blue girl]

I plead the fifth.

[Redbeard]

Get a matchbook, or a lighter and set the TP on fire. It burns at such a low temperature, and there is so little mass to it that its heat can't set the tree or grass on fire.

[Redbeard]

Unless, of course, it's been dry for weeks, but the lawn looks green.

[Redbeard]

Ooo, I just read the last post that it rained... BK is SOL.

[b tween]

My crazy swedish grandfather used to sit out at night drinking beer with a 20ga shotgun full of rock salt. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY ever TPd his place.
Something to think about, ya know?

[blue girl]

Hey Redbeard! Thanks for stopping by. Good advice too.

b tween, Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do now. Can't you just see me sitting in my rocking chair, drinking a Bud with my shotgun in my lap?

LOL!

[Nicho]

Excerpted from Stories of the 442nd TP Brigade: Double-rolls are Too Heavy...

"During one mission on a target's house (I have participated in and have been the target of many) in the early 1990s, one of the spec ops unit got the bright idea of bringing along the industrial kitchen clear wrap. Upon completion of the regular duties, ensuring that rolls cleared the roof in unbroken paths and so forth, the officer in charge of the excursion ordered the full wrapping of the target's vehicle in clear wrap. Although our presence was discovered near the end of the mission, we were informed that the target spent nearly two hours removing the clear wrap with a box cutter.

Sadly, the repercussion was swift. Our company commander was forced to resign shortly afterwards."
-Lance Corporal Brian "Charmin Slinger" McAfree

"We had just completed a run and were double-timing it back to the extraction vehilce. Apparently the target was aware of our presence and was launching a counter offensive.

We were in the extraction vehicle for some time when we realized that the platoon sergeant was missing. To our horror, we had left her behind and in her place sat the target; smiling and sitting quietly waiting for everyone to finally notice. We found the platoon sergeant walking quietly along the road and picked her up. We then immediately returned to the drop site and participated in diplomatic talks that resulted in our cleanup of the area of destruction well into morning."
-Major Patton "Nicho's Wife" Daemus (Ret.)

[billy pilgrim]

jeez, you people were all a bunch of juvenile delinquents.

My mom says I shouldn't hang around with you anymore.

Nicho: "diplomatic talks" Nice.

[grasshopper]

Never TP'd anyone's house: just stole their tulips, solo mission. But, jeez, did boys ever do our house! The three oldest were me and my two sisters: boys always did the place. And TP wasn't enough. (They were nowhere near as good at it as the girls who did it to Blue Kid.) Since the TP didn't produce a big enough impression for them, they egged the cars, my mom's and my dad's. So my mom would wake us up way before dawn, so we could clean it up before our father saw it. She even helped us. Our father, after all, owned a gun collection while we were high school. Once we were in college, of course, the guns didn't matter anymore and all but a few, which are locked in a bank somewhere, he sold. Inflated ideas of feminine virtue: where'd he get that?

[Kevin Wolf]

I must have been some kind of goody two shoes. Never participated in this sort of thing.

Then again, never had to clean up this sort of thing.

[1peanut]

I can't believe some of you have never TP'd a house. Hell, I just did my neighbor's a couple months ago.

[Bob]

When I was in Nam in 67 we'd TP them Congs with our Hueys, man. We'd swoop in and toss crates of TP, man. It was groovy scene, man, but they'd be freaking out! Then we'd machine gun em and call in Napalm strikes.

TP! Damn!

But seriously, I had this happen to my youngest earlier this year and the worst part was one of the brats used mayonnaise to write some stuff on the concrete and apparently mayo contains some sort of etching acid. Seriously, it's still there. Bastard childrens.

[Brando]

LOL at both of these posts. That has to have been a pain in the rump after a rain.

I only did a couple TP jobs, both in junior high. Got away with the first, got busted for the second, but only for being out, not the actual double-ply skullduggery. I was pretty good at keeping my minor-age indiscretions discrete, an art my siblings never learned.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

You live in a fancy neighborhood.

And AG was in a sorority. Enough said.

[QRED]

I don't think I realized how it worked in the red states, with t-shirts for telling the blue people from the red people!

[blue girl]

The red people make us do it, QRED.

[Dude]

What's the best way to clean-up after?