Kill Joy

Late yesterday afternoon at the grocery store, the cashier rang up each of my items.

One bottle of 4 Emus. Beep.

Two boxes of pasta. Beep. Beep.

One large jar of marinara sauce made in Little Italy. Beep.

One loaf of fresh baked French Bread. Beep.

And one banana creme pie. Beep.

When she went to swipe the UPC code of my last item, she looked at me and said, "This is pretty, but how come you didn't choose the traditional red kind?"

I stuck my nose in the air and replied indignantly, "Don't you know who I am?!"

Pshaw! You know I would never think to say such a thing. I just smiled and said, "I'm more of a blue girl."

That I was a peace-loving, long-haired hippie freak Christmas hater seemed completely lost on her.

The boy had finished bagging my groceries when another cashier, one who I've become "grocery store friends" with, saw that he had put my poinsettia in the cart unwrapped. She came running over.

"We have to wrap that for you! If it hits the cold air, it'll die."

"Okay."

She ran off to find a large bag. She came back with three different sized bags and we wrestled with the poinsettia until we were able to stuff it into the largest one.

I said to her, "I don't know why we're going through all of this."

"Because you don't want it to die!"

"You don't know me well enough yet. It'll be dead soon anyway. I'll kill it."

It's true. I will. My enthusiasm to keep that thing alive will wane. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I have a little Republican in me after all.

Comments

[Oswegan]

You should have hit her in the face with the banana creme pie.

~Oswegan

[Kathleen Maher]

Say it ain't so, BG: I think I have a little Republican in me after all.

Does this mean that when Republicans buy poinsettias (of any hue)their plants never die?

I thought they were pro-death for everyone and -thing except their ramrod selves.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

OMG. I want a blue plant. UC cannot say anything because it would be in Chanukah colors.

[Mendacious D]

The only plant I have which hasn't died is a pointsettia. It was a gift from the ex, and is probably staying alive out of spite. It's almost a year old.

Republicans are like the Pointsettias of Dorian Gray. Externally, they're quite pleasant, but in a damp greenhouse somewhere, locked away, lie their true colours.

[Jeremy]

I'm sorry BG, but blue poinsettias are an abomination and if there were a circle of Hell reserved for people who think they may be a little bit Republican, you would burn in it forever.

Poinsettias are red. End of story. and they don't have glitter on their bracts, like the ones I saw yesterday.

[Kathleen]

first you would have to steal most of the pointsettia's money, BG.

[blue girl]

The only plant I have which hasn't died is a pointsettia. It was a gift from the ex, and is probably staying alive out of spite.

lol.

you would burn in it forever.

Geez, Jeremy. That's not the holiday spirit.

Kathleen, that poinsettia is a total mooch. Always wanting MY water, to utilize the heat from MY house, etc.

It's a total freeloader. And we know how Republicans feel about freeloaders.

[Brando]

BG, I am surprised you would buy something that sounds like the official wine of Three Bulls.

And if you were really a Republican, you would waterboard that plant until it told you why it was dying.

[Michael Bains]

LOL! @ Brando.

I feel yer pain per teh plants, BG. I seem to have me one brown thumb. Uhm... ewww...

Nevermind...

;)

[Ronzoni Rigatoni]

Howcum Gust' Galucci's is not mentioned on your Li'l Italy site? I usta buy my DiNobili stogies there whenever I was near Cleveland.

[Ronzoni Rigatoni]

Howcum Gust' Galucci's is not mentioned on your Li'l Italy site? I usta buy my DiNobili stogies there whenever I was near Cleveland.