Snap, Crackle, Pop!

Just getting my winning entry ready for the 2007 Bake-off.

Take that, OfficerGleason, you pretentious bastard.

Comments

[Jennifer]

YEAH, BABY! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!!!

[OfficerGleason]

Rice crispy treats and a handful of twenties is supposed to intimidate TeamChicago? Please.

Last weekend, both of my team mates worked their fingers to the bone on their exciting and fantastic baked goods. Their ingredients appear to be significantly more wholesome than the processed junk you are going to feed to our beloved judges.

Seriously, how can you do that to them? High fructose corn syrups and processed rice...that's poison. Why are you poisoning our judges?

Today Shannon and I are flying TO SEATTLE, a city in the middle of a state-wide emergency, to find the perfect ingredients for the perfect baked goods.

As for the stack of twenties, Team Chicago sees your twenties and raises you Benjamins and Bling. I have to hit the bank to withdraw the bling from my Chicago "accounts" later today.

Superior ingredients, superior baked goods and superior bribes. A triple Threat BG. Give up now so you can ease your pain with your marshmallows.

[blue girl]

Oatmeal and nutella is supposed to intimidate me?

Pshaw!

Takes a lot more than that.

I'm wielding green food coloring, after all.

And there are *people* who understand what that means.

[blue girl]

And by *people* I mean *judges* from the past who made me Queen, once upon a time.

Bow down before me, OfficerGleason!

It's your only hope.

[Res Publica]

Why are you poisoning our judges?

Indeed, why DOES BG hate America?

[Chuckles]

I wouldn't mess with Marty. The last man who messed with a Gleason has yet to be found. Giraldo came close, but ended up humiliated.

[blue girl]

I wouldn't mess with Marty.

What's he gonna do?

Throw me in a vat of Nutella?

[Jennifer]

Officer Gleason is nothing, but a bunch of hot air as far as I'm concerned. And NEVER underestimate the magical qualities of a red hot during the holidays.

Thanks for the linky love, BG.

OG hasn't even left this judge a comment let alone any Benjamins or Bling... not to mention the sad fact that he doesn't even realize he's going up against a former queen.

So sad to be so disillusioned and misguided.

And who's this Res person?? The name sound vaguely familiar and yet when I think of it, I only feel loss... deep, painful, unbearable loss...

[Adroable Girlfriend]

BG, this is why AG hearts you!

AG is waiting for that cash and lite brite...

[Brando]

I'm making Vintage Amazon Stock Option Tollhouse Cookies. Cash bribes are for poor people.

[Von]

Ponies!?!? You've got to be f-ing kidding me!! That's ok, TeamChicago is going to regroup and work on our bribes. I mean, we're TeamCHICAGO, it's all about the bribes. Plus we have a kick-ass as-yet-unrevealed Theme Song. We shall prevail.

[Kathleen]

BG you can't make a Lite Brite out of popped rice.

[Snag]

Is the wreath a topping?

[Adorable Girlfriend]

The best part about BG's goodies is that they are still better than anything Pinko will make.

Y'all do remember how Blue Kid and his gang of outsiders didn't come over for like a week after putting the Pinko crap goods in their mouths last year.

It was like toothpaste from China, except, that would have actually been less deadly. At least that's what I heard from Kucinich the last time I saw him and he was writing back to his constituents.

[Snag]

What, BG's using Yangtze river dolphins in her baking now?

[Almost Canadian]

"...Yangtze river dolphins in her baking now?"

Mmmmmmm, jet puffed blow holes...tasty.

[Pinko Punko]

Thanks, spamulator.