Misery Loves Company

I ran into a neighbor in the grocery store this morning, the mother of one of Blue Kid’s best friends. She’s a riot. Makes me laugh every time I’m around her. I should be around her more often.

This morning, standing near a gorgeous display of apple cider and powdered donuts, she was telling me that she feels like she has to fight off depression most days. That she has to be her own cheerleader.

I told her that I feel that way too. Not most days though. Just some days. And some days I don’t even cheerlead myself out of it. Some days I just hunker down on the couch in the dark, watch Terms of Endearment and Marley and Me back to back, eat peanut butter crackers and wail into a pillow.

She said that she and the people from her office went to hear a motivational speaker speak last Friday and that she left feeling a little motivated. A little motivated not to complain about things.

“Like what?” I said.

“Like, she said, no one cares about your divorce! You have to keep trudging forward. Everyone’s got kid problems, everyone’s carrying some weight. You can’t focus on that stuff and complain all day long. No one cares.”

“No one cares. That's inspiring!”

“It’s true though. Think about it. You want to hear your surgeon going on and on about how depressed he is that he didn’t get laid last night?”

She had a point.

We talked for awhile longer about our depressive ways and how we weren’t going to complain about anything anymore. And then we complained about kids these days. Unappreciative little punks!

As she went off towards the bakery and I went off down the cereal aisle, she said that I should call her next time I’m having a bad day, that we could get together.

“Yeah, that would be great. I will. You always make me laugh.”

“What are you talking about? I want to come to your house and watch sad movies with you. We can hunker down and cry together. Misery loves company!"

Comments

[Jennifer]

It should be mandatory that all surgeons get laid the night before doing surgery!!

[Snag]

The funniest guy I know is also one of the bleakest. I'm not sure whether he's really that funny or whether he just makes me feel better by comparison.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

I have heard that all humor is rooted in tragedy.

Considering how easy it is to find tragedy these days, why aren't we laughing more?

[Kathleen Maher]

Blue Girl, Someone sensible enough to draw the curtains, watch sad movies, and eat crackers is taking a day to feel sad.
That's different from depression, which unfortunately is or can be mental illness.
I realize that the definition of "mental illness" grows wider and wilder all the time so that the mentally well will soon be the abberation.
But depression isn't just something designed to fit the latest, expensive, promising new medication, despite that whole Prozac fad.
Depression makes people mad.

[Dan Leo]

Charles Bukowski, who built a whole career out of being a miserable dissatisfied fart, wrote a great poem about just sleeping on and off for two straight days and then waking up feeling re-born and full of life. Wish I knew what book the poem is in, but I've got too many of his books to go trawling through them now...

[Brenda]

Listen, as long as you're not eating crackers and watching movies, EVERY DAY, I'd say you're entitled to the occasional fit of weeping. It's good for the skin, too. Have you ever noticed that? How luminous it is after tears. But I think Kathleen is right. Real depression makes people mad. In fact, it makes them enraged. I guess there's a lot of it out there these days. Back now to my crackers now...

[Mike13833]

Wake up your inner cavewoman, BG. Replacing some of your lights with wide/full spectrum bulbs can help. ( That is if you don't mind ruining the sad mood. ;)

If there's reasons, np, if there's no reason at all, maybe.

[blue girl]

No worries, everyone. Just a couple of ladies singing the blues. We were just connecting and relating near the cider and donuts. I know I wasn't very descriptive in my writing, but we were laughing our heads off. I will, from now on, look for a spring in the step of every surgeon I happen to meet. And Jennifer, I agree with you.

Dan, I think I remember that poem. I did a quick search, here's the first one I found. Not the one you wrote about above, but a good one just the same. The way he can interweave such crude language and beautiful ideas just kills me.

Do you know how much Bukowski I read last year? I had my nose buried in one of his books constantly.

[blue girl]

but as God said,
crossing his legs,
I see where I have made plenty of poets
but not so very much
poetry.

Wonderful.

[Snag]

Not this poem, I wouldn't think.

...
and i told her

please, I need some
sleep.

-sleep? sleep? ya son of a
bitch, ya never sleep, ya
don't need any
sleep!

I buried her one morning early
...

- Bukowski, "Sleep"

[Notesfromthegrove]

You're a really great writer. I loved this story so much. I hope you two become even better friends!

[blue girl]

lol, Snag. Probably not this one either:

A Challenge To The Dark

shot in the eye
shot in the brain
shot in the ass
shot like a flower in the dance

****

Thanks, Nftg!

[Brando]

BG, you write the most cheerful posts on being miserable.

[Dan Leo]

Last night I started to try to look for that Bukowski poem in my many Bukowski books but finally did what Buk would have done and gave up...

[Sue]

Some days.. laughter is the only thing that saves the day..
Keeping a sense of humor will get you through some really rotten times.