This was just outside in the driveway by the pond.
I have no idea if it's a frog or a toad. It might as well be a dinosaur. Look at it. Look at its feet. Oh my God, look at its hands. They're webby and pointy. Look at those pointy hands, oh my God. And do you see? It has thighs. Strong looking, gigantic toad/frog/dinosaur thighs. Bulging eyes. Green face. No lips. He looks like a lunger. Like he would wait for the perfect moment to lunge right at you when you least expect it. And he was huge. I'm talking T. Rex huge or possibly even Das Monster von Minden huge. But, it wasn't like I was going to get close enough to put a penny down for scale. So, you're just going to have to trust me when I say he was huge because, guess what? He was. Huge and prehistoric, webby and pointy. Oh my God.
This is the third toad/frog/dinosaur I've seen since we moved here. The other two might have been the same toad/frog/dinosaur, although The Skimmer said that one, if it was indeed the same one I've seen twice, was definitely "just" a toad. As if anything that looks like this could be "just" an anything when it sneaks up on you, lunge attack ready, on Easter morning as you're loading pink and green, sweet, innocent Easter baskets filled with sweet, innocent fluffy bunnies into the car.
And that second or same as the first "just" a toad was out on our patio again last night, in the pounding rain, his blobby, slimy body lit only by the moon, casting an ominous sideways shadow to warn humans such as myself of his dastardly wickedness. He wasn't as huge as Das Monster von Minden, but he might as well have been. Huge, bumpy, scaley, blobby. Oh my God.
If The Skimmer's taught me anything over the last 23 years, it is to appreciate all living things. And I have to admit, I was in awe of both Das Monster von Minden Sr. and Jr. when I first laid eyes on them as they were each contemplating their lunge attacks. But, seriously? Oh my God. They could have killed me.