blue girl: Let's Talk Dirty

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I’ve been a non-blogger this week because I’ve had to earn my paycheck. Which means I’ve actually been writing a lot, but nothing you would care to read. Unless you just can’t seem to get enough of, “75% Off! One Day Only! Hurry In Today!”

Although I’ve been ignoring my site, interestingly, others haven’t. I’ve still had lots of hits and last night, while analyzing my stats page I decided to click on some of the referring addresses. Many, many google searches from England, Japan and other dot somethings I couldn’t quite place.

Again and again, as the google search pages came up, the person searching had entered the phrase, La Blue Girl. My heart sank a little as I realized that quite a few people coming to my site were not in search of a little intellectual stimulation, but stimulation of a whole different sort.

You see, La Blue Girl is a series of anime porn. The main character, Miko Mido, is a ninja-in-training, entrusted with the family business of making sure the sex-starved Shikima stay out of humanity's way. She is a master at fighting off her enemies with sex. She fights back with every bit of sexual sorcery she can muster!

She studies SexCraft and says things like, "Did I forget to wear my panties again?"

Because I’ve been proud of the number of visitors to my blog, my 13 year old son started rolling on the floor in laughter. As I threatened to take his computer away and remove anything remotely anime-ish from his life, I began to wonder how popular could cartoon porn actually be?

According to FamilySafeMedia.com, where they sell “weemotes” (baby versions of remotes) that will shield your wee-little ones from seeing unsolicited wee-wees, (sorry, a wee-bit of humor there) worldwide, pornography is a $57 billion industry and growing because of the Internet. That’s larger than the combined revenues of all professional football, basketball and baseball franchises. At $6.2 billion, the U.S. porn revenue alone exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC.

I guess when you’ve got computer generated cartoon characters going at it, the liberal media just can’t compete.

Does Jerry Falwell know about this? Does James Dobson?

My husband said it’s probably teenage boys mostly interested in Miko Mido’s pantie-less escapades. But an on-line reviewer of the series wrote, “Contains graphic sex, violence and occult themes. Absolutely for adults only!”

He continued, “Amidst all the sexual encounters every five minutes or so, La Blue Girl has a definite plot. The majority of screen time is devoted to the sex duels, and there's a lot of kinky and hardcore things going on. This is definitely not for the faint of heart.....Everything is also shown in explicit detail.”

Well, if that’s the case, I’m sure the audience most certainly is made up of teenage boys, and probably full grown men. Like this one and this one.

All the poor shleps searching for La Blue Girl have been looking for love in all the wrong places.

You see, when I feel the need to look at something that combines cartoons and sex, I prefer artwork that’s a little more primitive.

And when and if I ever write about Deep Throat activities, it will be more a discussion about who Deep Throat actually is.

Much to my husband’s dismay, this is the kind of thing that gets me hot, hot, hot.

We know who Woodward said it wasn’t: Alexander Haig, Earl Silbert, John Sears, Diane Sawyer, Cord Meyer Jr., and William Colby.

There are the celebrity candidates: Kissinger, Melvin R. Laird, who served as Nixon’s Secretary of Defense, Ben Stein, Pat Buchanan and George H. W. Bush.

But the three leading candidates are: W. Mark Felt, the third highest official in the FBI at the time of Watergate. Fred Fielding, who was assistant to John Dean and had access to the files relating to Watergate. And William H. Rehnquist.

I don’t know. I’m thinking Rehnquist. Deep Throat, rumors about Deep Throat being sick, Rehnquist has thyroid cancer, thyroid's by the throat. You get the picture. But, if he cared that much about our country, he definitely would have weighed in on the filibuster debate by now. (Unless he’s in some parking garage waiting for Bernstein to show up.)

It’s also entertaining to think of Deep Throat being George H. W. Bush, considering Newsweek, owned by The Washington Post, got whacked this week as payback for Watergate. With the lynching being led by Bush, Jr., who wouldn’t know doing what’s right if it jumped up and bit him, because doing what’s wrong has been crammed down his throat by the neo-cons for so long now.

But I undress...I mean digress.

I sort of feel bad for all those people out there in the world, credit card at the ready, looking for La Blue Girl. Because they just get me.

A blue girl no doubt, but one who is a lot less popular than imagined. To paraphrase Woody Allen, seemingly doing nothing much more than engaging in a little mental masturbation.