blue girl

Getting To Know Me, Getting To Know All About Me Meme

Res tagged me with some freakishly complicated meme that has way too many instructions, so I'm not going to do that one.  Instead I will be my rebellious self and do the one I want to do, which is below.  Res swiped it from Shakespeare's Sister and I'm swiping it from him.

Here goes.

Accent:  Because I pretty much grew up in Ohio (With a couple of stints in Delaware and Virginia) I probably have a typical midwestern accent and speak with those flattened vowels I've read about.  But, I swear I sound just like all those generic local newcasters.  Whether you're in New York or Georgia, they all sound the same and I think that's the way I sound when I speak -- between the cackling, of course!

Booze:  Whatever cocktail I choose is primarily based on the prettiness of the glasses.  If my husband I go out to dinner, it's one vodka martini straight up with three olives.  Or if I'm in the mood, it's dry red wine ONLY if they have those bulbous gorgeous red wine glasses.  If you can drink anything out of a styrofoam cup, I only have one thing to say to you -- and that is -- pshaw!

Chore I Hate:  I hate all chores and avoid them like the plague.  Why do you think I'm doing this meme instead of more responsible adult-like activities.  Next question....

Dog or Cat:  Since I was never allowed to have animals growing up, I've really learned to love all animals in my adult life.  They're all really cool.  Huge dogs scare me though.   

Essential Electronics:  We just bought a DVD a few months ago.  Hello?  I don't need no stinkin' electronics.

Favorite Cologne:  As long as it smells good, I'm not picky.  Right now I'm wearing Tiffany. 

Gold or Silver:  I have a fair complexion, so gold looks better on me, especially if the gold is covered in diamonds.  (Shut up, I already know all about Sierra Leone.)

Hometown:  I've moved too often in my life to ever feel like I really have a hometown, which makes me sort of sad.

Insomnia:  Yes.

Job Title:  Empiress of Blue Girl Marketing and Advertising!  I am the ultimate manipulator!

Kids:  One son -- just turned 14.  He's been acting quite amazing in the last few weeks and I'm so proud of him that my heart could burst right now.  I know this feeling will quickly fade, so I'm taking full advantage of the feeling while it lasts.

Living Arrangements:  I live in a typical suburb which is disappointing to me in some ways.  As soon as my son goes to college, we plan to move.

Most Admirable Traits:  I'm not one to blow my own horn in a serious way.  You tell me.

Number of Sexual Partners:  Pshaw!

Overnight Hospital Stays:  The only time I had to stay in the hospital overnight was when I had my son.  When they told me I could go home, I begged them to stay.  I was scared to death to go home.  But I did.  And I've survived thus far.

Phobias:  I used to think fear of heights, but I think it's more fear of falling.  Which really means fear of not having any control.  Don't tell me I need to get over it.  Don't ever ask me to go skiing.  Ain't gonna happen.  Ski lifts?  Whattya you?  Insane?

Quote:  "We're so lucky!" -- Gotta always remember that when you start letting the silly little things in life get you down.  Most things you worry about don't mean a hill of beans.

Religion:  I'm still learning all about it.  I do believe that everything happens for a reason though.

Siblings:  One younger sister, two younger stepsisters, one younger stepbrother and two older stepsisters.  A regular shmorgasbord of dysfunction!

Time I Wake Up:  Around 7.  Unless I've been up from 2-5am, then my husband's a nice guy and let's me wake up when I wake up.

Unusual Talent or Skill:  I'm a pretty good singer and I could totally kick your butt at tetherball.  Oh, and I never miss a lay-up.

Vegetable I Love:  I can take 'em or leave 'em.  But, like animals, I've learned to love most of them in my old-ish age.

Worst Habit:  I have many.  And I'm not tellin'.

X-Rays:  The older I get, the more scared of them I become.  I don't ever want to hear the words....see this spot right here?

Yummy Foods I Make:  I do not live up to my full potential in this area.  I can cook.  I can bake.  But it's hard work!  I make a great tomato, basil, mozzarella salad....but, that's not that original.  It is a Blue Girl classic though!  If any of you ever come to my house, I'll make that classic and serve it with a delicious pasta dish and of course, dry red wine in beautiful glasses...that's amore!

Zodiac Sign:  Taurus.  Stubborn?  Moi?  Yeah, just a tad. And guess what?  Today begins my birthday week!  Yay!  Celebration time, c'mon!  I've almost made it another year.

Must be a reason for that.  Just gotta figure out what that reason is.

Research Of Research Far Exceeds Results Of Original Research

Nancy Nall had a post Thursday where she wrote...

I once saw some research, very cutting-edge for the time, that wired up a bunch of volunteers with these devices that would track, with some precision, where and how their eyes moved as they read the paper. The idea was to discover, without relying on personal reporting, exactly what things people read as they looked at their hometown daily. When the research was presented, each element on the page — from the 2D page number at the top to the credit lines on photos — had a number next to it, indicating the percentage of people whose eyes stopped long enough to indicate they might have actually read it.

One page had a left-rail digest of short items, marching all the way down the page. Each item had a number somewhere between 17 and 19 percent, except for two, which were up in the 40 percent range. The headline on one was something like “Sex charges filed against parolee” and the other, “Nude body found in field.” I think this indicates, with some authority, that if you want someone to read your work, slap a headline on it featuring the words “sex” or “nude.”

That gave me the idea to do my own research.  And the results are stunning!  I decided to post these two articles separately.

Study:  Harvest Time Critical for Peanuts and Sex Makes Women Happy, It's Official

I even put the Peanuts post first so that your eyes would have to hit that one before the Sex headline.

I got 10 comments total.  And won't ya look at that.  Only got two on the Peanuts post, but got eight on the Sex post.  Let's subtract the one comment I made from the Sex post (wouldn't want to skew the results)  And also, one of the comments on the Peanuts post was really about the Sex post.  So, that means I got eight comments on the Sex post and only one comment on the Peanuts post.  That's now a total of nine comments.  Which is quite a bummer it's not ten because the math would've been so much easier to do.

Let's just pretend the math is easy and say for argument's sake that the Sex post received approx. 90% of the comments between the two.

Of course this is all based on personal reporting that the first research study tried to avoid.  And I really wasn't asking you to read my work as I just copy and pasted articles that I found in two seconds online.

But the results cannot be denied and are pretty much what I expected.  You readers are a bunch of liberal heathens.

Don't try to deny it!  It's all now documented in my very scientific study.

Study: Harvest Time Critical for Peanuts

According to an article on Yahoo News...

The timing of the peanut harvest can determine whether peanut butter is a roasted-tasting treat or a pain in the palate, according to a new study.

Read the rest here.  It's fascinating.

Sex Makes Women Happy, It's Official

According to News in Science...

Having sex is the high point of most women's days, while commuting is the low point. And most women like being with their kids less than they admit, says a new study.

Read the rest here.  It's fascinating.

What a wretched lot of old shrivelled creatures we shall be by-and-by. Never mind -- the uglier we get in the eyes of others, the lovelier we shall be to each other; that has always been my firm faith about friendship.                                      
                                   ~ George Eliot

BG's Little Rap

When my son was a baby and had a yucky diaper we got into the habit of saying that he did a *Big Job.*  I know, sorry -- it's gross.  And you're probably wondering why in the name of Cookie Jesus I am telling you this.  Well, we've been really busy at work and that's left little time for blogging.  Working on lots of Big Jobs, so to speak.  Just crankin' 'em out.  I know how many of you truly appreciate the field of advertising.  Yes, I am part of the problem.  But a girl's gotta buy cool black shoes, right?

There are a couple of things going on in the blogosphere that I have to write about quickly.

I need to give a couple of shout outs to people who've done Really Big Jobs this week.  We'll call them Blue Girl Big Job Awards Of The Week.

First there was the guy from The Right State, who got his grand old flag all tied up in knots because he thought millions in the blogosphere had plagiarized a phrase he came up with.  The phrase?  Decider-in-Chief.  He had a hissy fit and wrote up a post where he copied and pasted the names of a ton of bloggers who stole his phrase, including Shakespeare's Sister.  Here's what he wrote:

No Credit for Decider-in Chief

I guess I should have copyrighted the name “Decider-in-Chief.”  Here is just a sample of sites that quote the name but do not give credit to where they got it.  Of course I would be negligent to suggest all sites took liberties with taking the name, Hugh Hewitt is an exception. Note that this is a google search with only the first three pages printed.  I tried to see how many times it was mentioned but stopped at 400.

Then he goes on to list all the bloggers that *stole* his phrase.  I was extremely perturbed to think he would think that Shakespeare's Sister would steal a phrase from him!  I mean.  But then I noticed that he had just started blogging in March, so I cut him some slack and left a comment that basically said, get used to it.  There are thousands of creative people who will think of the same thing as you at the same time, if not before.  It's just the way it goes in the blogosphere.

I remember when I started blogging, I thought I had an original thought from time to time but quickly learned there are far more creative people than me.  And I learned that lesson in about, oh, two seconds after I started blogging.  To Chuck's credit though, he did leave a comment that said he needs to think more before he writes.

(Nobody else is going to have the Coolest Most Awesome Great Blue Girl Wall Of Fame, though.  Hee-hee-hee.  Jus sayin.)

So the First Blue Girl Big Job Award of the Week goes to Chuck at The Right State.  Yoo did sooch a goood job at sooooch a Big Job dis weeek...you're soooch a goooood boy!

And now onto our second winner.  I know I'm late to this story -- I mean, it's soooo Monday, April 24th, but I just can't get over it.

Michelle Malkin has a new website.  I'm not sure if it replaced her blog or it's just another one.  But, guess what it's called.  C'mon, guess.  You'll never guess it, but it's sooooo fitting:

HOT AIR

Her new website is called Hot Air. 

Hot Air. 

Hot Air!

I can't get over it.

Not that you need proof, but here is the definition of the phrase hot air:

Empty, exaggerated talk.

You really couldn't make that one up.  Or.  Maybe.  Chuck at The Right State made it up and then Michell Malkin stole it.  Who knows!

It's too much!

She has a video-cast thingamajig of herself reporting on all sorts of lefty shaninigans.  She's not very good at it.  She's new at it though.  Not blowing hot air, but being recorded blowing hot air.  It might get better -- the recording part, not the content.  But, whatever!  HOT AIR!!

So the Second Blue Girl Big Job Award of the Week goes to Michelle Malkin of HOT AIR.  Whadda good widdle name you came up wif!  You did sooooch a Big Job!  Gooood girrrrl!!!!

When I was trying to find proof of the definition of Hot Air, I stumbled on the Urban Dictionary.  Do you know was "BG" means in slang?

Baby Gangsta!

Michelle Malkin's got me thinking.  I might do my very own Blue Girl Baby Gangsta video-pod cast for my next Blue Girl Baby Gangsta Big Job Award of the Week Ceremony.  Sounds like a cool thing to do, huh?

Don't you dare steal my idea!  You wouldn't want Baby Gangsta to come over there and B n' B It on ya.

My Oh My...

...for The Best Most Excellent Great Blue Girl Wall Of Fame.

That is all.

Shining Some Light On A Very Important Subject

I'm getting lots of submissions for The Great Blue Girl Wall of Fame.  Lots of submissions from nice, lovely, attentive, artistic, thoughtful people.  And all of their names have been recorded in The Great Blue Girl Book Of Phenomenal People Who Follow Instructions And Are Most Helpful.

Those who have not responded have had their names recorded in The Great Blue Girl Book of Those Who Think Their Too Busy Or Too Cool Or Too Something To Participate Thus Far.  Names have only been penciled in at this juncture.  You still have time to redeem yourselves.

I've also gotten some prudent commentary on my dazzling lamp.

BOSSY commented:

Thing is - I'm still very concerned about your lamp. It's - what - china and, ew, brass? With a gold rimmed paper shade? At least three mortal sins on one light source.

And this from Mr. Baines:

Oh oh oh!  I forgot to add my distaste for the lamp, though!

Such snark. 

I mean, Martha loves milk glass!

In case you didn't appreciate the true grace and magnificence of my lamp in the previous posted picture, here's a close-up lest you are left in the dark.
And oh yes, the calendar of quotes from our dear leader, The Decider, of which his deciding seems so pertinent to this situation.

I think we're making progress.  We understand where the power of this country lay.  It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans.  It must lay in our pocketbooks.  It lays in the willingness for people to work hard.  But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor.

C'mon, be A Decider, you citizens from all walks of life, all political parties.  Be willing to say you want to love your neighbor and submit an image to be used in The Great Blue Girl Wall Of Fame.

Anything you submit can only make that lamp look better.  And I've decided that Martha would agree.

Vo-dee-oh-doh-doh!

My husband and I were getting ready to go out to dinner Friday night...

"Oh.  You look good."

"Thanks."

"Sort of Laverne & Shirley..."

"I was going for Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's!"

"Same thing."

"Really?  Same thing?  Really?"

Oh, golly gee damn!

So I changed my top.  Obviously the rather large rhinestone brooch on my baby blue angora sweater was not projecting the image I was trying to create.

"Oh, yeah.  Now you do look like Breakfast at Tiffany's!"

"Yeah.  Laverne DiFazio.  Audrey Hepburn.  What's the difference."

"It was that pin..."

Getting in the car a few minutes later...

"I feel like a cowboy in this shirt."

"Yeah.  You do sort of look like The Decider."

"I don't want to look like The Decider!"

"Chill, Squiggy."

****

Remember to read this post and do your duty as a true patriotic American I know you to be!  To those who have already responded, your cooperation is greatly appreciated.  And to those who haven't, your absence thus far as been duly noted.

Be A Part Of The Blue Girl Wall Of Fame

Saw this photo in the March 19 issue of the Sunday NYTs magazine.  It was used in the first spread of an article, which was titled:

Wanted:  A Few Good Sperm

It's not the sperm I want, it's that wall of photos.  How cool is that wall?  So I've been collecting frames and have decided I'm going to redecorate my office.  I mean look at this.

Can you imagine a more uninspired space?  Between that old door that I use as a desk (propped up on each end by baskets of junk) and that ugly lamp, it's a wonder I've ever had a creative idea in this room.

I've also been trying to think of the photos or images I would like to frame.  And then, a couple of days ago, I saw this photo as I was flipping through an old issue of Newsweek.

Man, I love Stephen Colbert maybe as much as he loves himself.  And look at that wall of photos!  If truthiness be told, I believe something in the cosmos is now forcing me to redecorate my office using the Wall Of Frames concept.  So playing around a little, I came up with this idea.

What?  Too blue girl?  Can anything really ever be too blue girl?  Kidding! 

I've got an idea for the images for my Wall of Frames, but I need your help.

All of you out there who read blue girl, both the commenters and the lurkers, email me an image and I'll frame it for The Blue Girl Wall Of Fame. 

It can be anything you want.  It can be a photo, a drawing, an illustration!  If you feel like writing a poem, I'll make a cool design out of it, print it out and frame that.  I'm not asking for a portrait of you.  But, feel free if that's what strikes your fancy.

Email anything!  Have fun and let you personality shine through!

The only thing I don't want is a few good sperm.  Jus sayin.

My goal is to have this room completely renovated by the middle of May.  So, if you could email whatever you want me to frame asap, that would be a big help.  That way, as I start getting more frames, I'll know the images I'm dealing with.

C'mon.  Say you'll do and then actually do it! 

Email:  [email protected]

I can picture The Blue Girl Wall of Fame in my mind's eye.  Let's make it a reality!

If nothing else, think of the children.  Do it for the children.