Bad Kids. Bad, Bad Kids.

Have you ever fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on and then woke up around 4am to a blaring Girls Gone Wild infomercial?

No?  But, you'd like to?  Well, just flip on the Daily Show one night, start reading a book and it's more than likely to happen.

That's what I did last night and while there may be worse things to wake up to, it's pretty bad.  And I mean bad in all kinds of ways.  Even ways that some of you wouldn't consider bad at all.  You'd probably consider some of them pretty good.  Heathens. 

Once my eyes adjusted to what I was looking at, which I'm way too innocent to go into detail here, I couldn't get over it.

I sat up on the couch and started thinking.  Don't these girls have mothers?  Fathers?  Grandparents?! What about aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews?  How could they have agreed to do that?  What do their mothers think?  They must be horrified.  Then I thought about the guy who started this lovely little business.  And how big of a business it's obviously turned into.  And I quickly decided that I don't like him at all.  As my internal dialogue continued...

Eww!

Oh my God!

Oh, she's really pretty...

My son came downstairs to get a drink of water and I lunged for the remote control.

Mom, what are you watching?

Nothing.

Girls Gone Wild?

Shhhh.  How do you know about that?

Duh, Mom.

Well, you shouldn't know about this show.

Mom, it's not a show, they're videotapes you can order.  And anyway -- you watch Sex and the City!

It's 4:00 in the morning and here we are in a big discussion!  It's too early to cross swords with you.  Hurry up and go back to bed.

Wide awake, I flipped on the news.  Learned that Castro was still alive while everyone's still doing their best to kill Mel Gibson, as if he needed any help.  Got online and checked email and hit the blog circuit.  Watched this hysterical clip from the Colbert Report over at Anita's place.  Tears were streaming as I heard my husband get up.  He walked into my office.

Why are you crying?

I'm not crying, I'm laughing.  I'm going to run away with Stephen Colbert.  I love him.

I thought I'd beat you up this morning.

Why would you want to beat me up?  I haven't even done anything to you yet today.

I didn't mean it that way.

Ha!  I woke up really early to a blaring Girls Gone Wild infomercial.

You should have woken me up.

You know, I'm not even going to mention the age difference between those girls and you.  You know what else?  Blue Kid knows all about Girls Gone Wild.

Of course he does.  He's a teenaged boy.

Well, I don't like that one single bit.  I don't like to think of him watching that.

Of course you don't.  You're his mother.

Comments

[Michael Bains]

Why do I get the feelin' that Blue Teen hasn't heard the end of the differences between Sex in the City and Girls Gone Wild..? {-;

[Claire]

That Colbert Report clip is *so* funny.

Hilarious post.

[Dean]

OK I take it you don't like GGW and their ilk but who are they hurting? Dating is very different to the 20 somethings now and those poor girls have to compete with the internet for a boys attention. Dammit. I was born 15 years too late or 15 years too early.

[Kevin Wolf]

I'm reminded again of this simple truth:

Beware conversations that take place at 4 in the morning.

[blue girl]

....but who are they hurting?

Dean! I can't wait till you have all those daughters that you talked to me about!!!

:)

Claire, that clip is hysterical!! I have to watch it again, but all I can think about right now is her asking him if he's from France and then him saying later he's French Vanilla!

He makes me laugh so hard.

:)

[Dean]

I believe I'd be more disturbed hearing "We regret to inform you..." from the military than "Is that your daughter flashing her goodies on Girls Gone Wild: The Azores?" from the whole neighborhood.

Besides my little girls are going to be perfect and won't have those kind of self esteem issues.

Seriously though, think about it. Why are young women so repressed that such behavior is the inevitable backlash when they finally do slip loose the bonds of family and go to Cabo on Spring Break? Maybe overly shielding them from their sexuality turns them into these time bombs ready to go super-slut after some rum punch and 3 belly shots.

I'm not telling you how to raise your boy but maybe sitting him down with Season 2 of Sex in the City and Girls Gone Wild: SnoopDog Goes to Ohio State and watching them as a family will allow him to maturely compare and contrast exactly what the differences are. At the very least, it would be hilarious to watch him squirm from having to watch porn in front of his mother. That may cure his curiosity about naughty movies forever.

[Claire]

Why are young women so repressed that such behavior is the inevitable backlash when they finally do slip loose the bonds of family and go to Cabo on Spring Break? Maybe overly shielding them from their sexuality turns them into these time bombs ready to go super-slut after some rum punch and 3 belly shots.

Sorry to take this so seriously, but really? You think this is because of "overly shielding them from their sexuality"? I think it more has to do with the fact that society keeps telling young women that they need to be sexual objects for men. This has less to do with sexuality and more to do with poor self image or at least confusion between the two.

[blue girl]

At the very least, it would be hilarious to watch him squirm from having to watch porn in front of his mother.

He wouldn't squirm! He's a little snot right now and would enjoy watching me turn beet red, hiding my face in a couch pillow.

That may cure his curiosity about naughty movies forever.

I don't want to *cure* him...as much as I'd rather him, on his own, choose the History Channel or some Ken Burns documentary over some Snoop Dog Goes to Ohio State pornfest.

I want him to be a gentleman.

:)

[blue girl]

And Dean...I think I'm with Claire here.

From the girls I see who saunter on over here calling on my son -- it's not so much that *they* are being shielded from their sexuality, as much as I feel *I* need to be shielded from their sexuality.

Their sexuality is right out there in the open. No shielding going on as far as I can tell.

[Dean]

The difference between a gentleman and a savage is conditioning. As for young women and their sexuality... I could go with a cheap joke right now along the lines of 'your son is a lucky lucky man' but I wont. Maybe shielded isn't the right word, I was thinking along the lines of the messages kids get from Health Class. "Don't have sex because you'll get pregnant and die." It's possible the backlash in your area is hitting younger then college.

[Claire]

I don't think it's backlash to the insane sex ed that causes girls to flash their boobs or make out with their friends, etc.

I think it's more the completely conflicting and untruthful images they are given as models-- virgin or whore. And we're not given the tools to know *how* to be truthful about sexuality.

[TC]

Slightly OT and sorry for the hijack:

I've been spending way too much time reading the poltitcal stuff lately, especially since the ME turned into a hell pit.

The right wing media, not just the blogs, have fully exposed their genocidal desires and are waving their war-freak flags frantically. The bloodlust and homicidal mania is right out there in the open.

I think on the whole, I prefer sexuality to be right out there in the open, embarassment or no. Fewer children dying overall.

[Dean]

TC I couldn't agree more. It would be great to be more uptight about the violence then we are about sex. I hope you don't count my not so humble blog as one of the genocidal freaks. I really would be more upset to hear that my little princess was joining the war machine then I would be hearing she's doing softcore pornography.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

I am staying out of this. What I will say is keep him away from MTV too. MTV was founded on teenage male fantasies. If you want a gentleman, avoid that.

There's actually a great book out the Jewish parents use about raising a Mensch. It gets to the heart of how to treat your own sexuality and your partners. It's very important and the biggest thing it teaches you is that you can only be concerned about your child taking responsibility and teaching him or her what that it is.

[blue girl]

TC, I'm a news junky and I can't take the news right now. I can't listen to any of them. If I haven't been watching SATC, I've had the TV off.

Bob Shieffer's the only one I can tolerate right now. Right, left or in between.

I don't want my son growing up watching war on TV as entertainment.

[Claire]

It gets to the heart of how to treat your own sexuality and your partners. It's very important and the biggest thing it teaches you is that you can only be concerned about your child taking responsibility and teaching him or her what that it is.

Amen to that AG.

Sorry for the freakout. I'll blame the heat.

[blue girl]

Regarding sex education...my son's had all kind of classes teaching every kind of opinion. Open and responsible, abstinence, etc. It's been pretty well rounded.

I don't think that's got a greater impact though than what parents should try to teach at home, but heaven's to Bestsy! Yes! Betsy! It's a minefield of a subject.

[TC]

Now, of course, BK is wondering what the heck his mother was doing alone at 4 AM watching Girls Gone Wild...

Heavens, indeed.

[TC]

Incidentally, by most accounts the guy who started GGW, Joe Francis, is kind of a repulsive guy.

Who's been made rich by getting girls to show their boobs for him.

ewww. Can I get a Pshaw, or is that a Bastard?

[The Fat Lady Sings]

My friend Amy teaches High School kids - so she knows a little bit about teenagers and sexuality. Lemme tell 'ya - the way girls are looked at by boys today is really frightening. And not just girls of their own generation; they look at all women that way. Every boy in her class refers to every girl as a 'ho' or a 'bitch'. The new ones will initially call her that too - until they get in a world of shit and start referring to her as 'Miss' and saying ‘yes ma’am’. Amy says its epidemic - she's been railing about this for years. Some of the boys openly slap or otherwise manhandle their girlfriends - who take it, by the way; even seek it out. Now - I'm not in any way blaming 'Girls Gone Wild' for this; no - I see those videos as symptomatic of a much larger problem. By the way – not all the girls in those videos are over 18. The guy who runs the company has already been sued by a handful of pissed off parents.

I think Blue Girl has every right to expect her boy to grow up a gentleman. He’s already way more than half-way there. He has wonderful, involved parents. But what about those kids who are, for all intents and purposes on their own? They see and hear women being treated with disrespect everywhere these days. It’s not just the way dating is – its wrong – and it should be identified as such. I have much less problems with teenagers having sex than I do their understanding what it should mean to be a good and caring human being. Do you really want to live in a world run by George Bush clones? Rabid frat boys who only care about themselves? Respecting women is part and parcel of that – and ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos exploiting drunk girls doesn’t fit in with that paradigm. So there! I will now get off my soapbox and go feed the cats.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

Fat Lady has it down. And I love the off the box to feed the cats.

[DuWayne]

I feel so lucky to have a four year old (I know they get older but I choose not to think about it all the time)the only time he found his mom and I's, uh, sexualy explicit magazines, was shortly after being weened from his mamma's boobes. He was so terribly excited to find so many boobes in one place he didn't even ask about what some of the folks were doing - basicly ignoring the parts that focused on other bits of the anatomy and their interaction with male bits of the anatomy.

As for raising a gentleman. I was raised as a gentleman and while I have always been honest with women and only "played" a gal once and still writhe with guilt when I think about it - I was a right whore and a half. I say focus on safe sex and the right way to treat a woman - from the sounds of it you and your husband provide a reasonable example - and everything will pan out.

And if you think that a teen boy being familiar with GGW is scary - just be glad he hasn't gotten enthused about the far more graphic porn available - often at school.

[Tom]

An update to answer Dean's question of "who are they hurting": an L.A. Times reporter and a young woman who made the mistake of getting on the GGW bus, and possibly some very young girls.

[blue girl]

Thanks for the link Tom.

Ugh. What a....ick.

Yes, he's soooo icky.

Yuck.