This Post Brought To You By Blue Girl In A Red State...

...Good to the last drop.

I'm busy today working on advertising materials that will serve the very high purpose of trying to convince people to buy things they don't want and don't need.  While I may not be extremely proud of the work I churn out today, for different reasons, I can honestly say that what I'm working on is going to turn out better than this.

That being said, I have to admit I find that commercial strangely appealing.  Kind of like a I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up version of applying whatever it is they are selling directly to your forehead.

A sort of Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia, Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia Pet form of Where's the Beef?

I think the Where's the Beef spot was the best one of all that I linked to above.  But, I'm not really sure why I think that.  After all, I remembered all of them, (did you?) which is the whole point behind what we do. 

Most people think that what the whole point to what we do should be increasing sales.  But, advertising is only like an invitation inviting you to a party.  And we're just making the invitation as pretty and appealing as possible.  That's all we can do.  If we can interest you in coming to the party, with the goal of actually getting you to the party, then the host or hostess has to step up and become the salesperson.  They have to sell you on it.  Putting everything together as perfectly as they can so that when you leave, you feel confident that you made the right decision to go to the party to begin with.

If the host or hostess forgets to clean the bathroom, there's nothing I can do about that.

I know a lot of you blame people like me when you wake up the next morning after that party with a blazing hangover.  But, my only advice to you when that happens is...

Head On
Apply directly to the forehead
Head On
Apply directly to the forehead
Head On
Apply directly to the forehead

As seen on TV!

This post brought to you by Blue Girl In a Red State.  The Real Thing. 

Comments

[Almost Canadian]

The worst commercials are the political ones. If they only would talk about the issues instead of personal attacks they would serve the public good by creating open dialogs.

Anyone who doubts the power of advertising just has to look at "The Swift Boat" commercials.

[blue girl]

Yes. But. What do you mean by "worst?" Written, shot and produced poorly? That is certainly true.

But, unfortunately not "worst" from an impact standpoint.

Cuz the Swift Boat spots worked.

Am I right?

[Almost Canadian]

I mean worst from a "full of shit" standpoint. I remember reading about a Georgia campaign where one candidate called the other candidate a "flaming homo sapien" who engaged in heterosexual activities outside the home.

Guess who won.

[blue girl]

SUCH profane language to use here at Blue Girl in a Red State. Pshaw!

We only allow goopy words around here. At least according to Jeddie Ningo. You know words like the words from The Real Thing jingle.

Read them! They're so good!!!!!!! Heart, heart, heart, heart, heart....

I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love,

Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,

I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.

....Heart, heart, heart, heart.

:)

[Kevin Wolf]

I'm just realizing I need an advertising slogan.

Well, on second thought...

[blue girl]

KW: You've got a great tag line...

That's My Name, Don't Wear It Out.

You could add a twist of the Nike line...

That's My Name, Don't Wear It Out. Just Don't Do It.

:)

[montysano]

I haven't been able to figure out if the folks who made the Head On commercial were brilliant and recognized it's strange appeal, or were clueless and just thought it was good, albeit low budget. And notice: the commercial makes no claim at all as to what Head On does.

BG, our professions are similar in some ways. I've worked in the theatrical lighting biz for 15 years, and here in the South, that means lighting churches. I'm in the business of making the message powerful, and there are days when I don't feel a bit good about that message. But I still cash the checks 8-)

BTW, I hope you won't mind, but I've hung out my shingle. Stop by if you get a chance.

[Dean]

I don't mind advertising as long as it isn't obnoxious or so long that I forget what show I was watching in the first place. That being said, I really gravitate toward watching the pay channels because there are no commercial breaks. Some of the ad supported cable channels have OnDemand offerings that I'll watch over watching the actual 'broadcast' channel. Why is that? Because 4 minutes of commercials every 8 minutes really turns me off but I'll gladly sit through the one 30 second spot they sometimes slip in the OnDemand shows.

Still nothing beats my PVR which lets me go in and slice out the commercial breaks before I watch a show. 24 was especially suspenseful this season despite the fact that I'm still conditioned to reach for the remote every time I hear the Beep Boop Beep Boop clock before the break. So if commercials were shorter, less annoying and didn't totally kill the mood and enjoyment of a show I'd sit through them with no complaints.

So yeah, commercials suck. I'm an ad execs worse nightmare. I remember how annoyed I was by your commercial break that I won't buy your product out of spite.

Best commercial ever, that meets all my bullet points... The one second MasterLock gunshot.

[blue girl]

Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep Boop Beep Boop

What, Dean...you want me to starve to death? My son not to get those new pair of shoes he needs so desperately?!!!

Kidding. We don't do much TV -- to my dismay. I like to do TV, it's a fun process.

And while we focus on trying to come up with ideas that won't annoy people -- who knows. They probably still do.

I'm with ya though. I was just watching one of my favorite shows on cable the other night and there was a commercial every 6 seconds and I lost interest in the show.

:)

[Dean]

Thing about cable is that they're not regulated the way regular broadcast is. Regular TV can't have more then 14 minutes of commercials per hour and self promo's count as commercial advertising. Not so with cable especially the little channels like E! and DIY. They kill me to watch em.

I wish companies would really make much better use of the net then they do. Let's say I have broken off a small piece of the trim on my car bumper and want to fix it. Try a Google for "good epoxy for automotive trim" and all you get back is crap. The best looking hit is for a guy in England who sells all kinds of glue. Now if I made epoxy and sold it for a living you can be damn sure I won't be wasting my time placing ads on HGTV or PowerBlock on SpikeTV. I'd be paying my advertising dollar on a good webdesign that puts my glue at the top of any search for stickyness. I'm not watching 'HorsepowerTV' because I like the Tennesee accent. I'm watching it because I want to know what I can bolt onto my car to make it cooler then the ricer that teenaged kid down the street has. Where the hell did he get money for Nitrous? Anyway, no matter how many times I see the commercial for Flowmaster, I'm not going to pay that kind of money to put a muffler on a Toyota. If you've ever driven a Toyota you'll know why not to put your money into the exhaust.

I have a head full of cold medicine. I don't know if I make sense.

[blue girl]

I have a head full of cold medicine.

Dean! It seems as though you may need....

Head On
Apply directly to the forehead
Head On
Apply directly to the forehead
Head On
Apply directly to the forehead

Um. Maybe. I don't really understand what it's for.

Did you watch it?

[anita]

"advertising is only like an invitation inviting you to a party"

well, as long as you put it that way BG ... and how well we all know how much you love a party !!

;)

and REALLY ... will someone please explain to me what this "head on" stuff is is actually used for ... and what it does ??

[blue girl]

Anita, I have no idea. What about this idea...you know when you get a bad headache and you need a cold cloth on your head?

Maybe it's cold cloth in stick form.

:)

[Dean]

Head On is some sort of Patent Medicine. They don't actually tell you what they claim it does so they're not technically breaking the Pure Food & Drugs Act of 1904.

[blue girl]

Dean, you're like the Encyclopaedia Britannica of all my commenters.

:)

[Dean]

I've always wanted to be Encyclopedia Brown but without all the patronizing elitism.

[Kevin Wolf]

Head On is just what it looks like: headache relief medicine. And they make it for migraine too.

Whether it works is for Dean to answer.

And, yes, I hate commercials.

[Michael Bains]

I love the SuperBowl for the potential for great news ads. Sure, alot of 'em are lame, but there are always a few great works of Commercial Art in the batch.

I'm an absolutely incompetent salesman, but I've always had a knack for advertising, simply because I see its potential as an artform. As long as it's not deliberately misleading, I have no problems with it as an Industry.

Ya know BG, I think those "Head On" folks are gonna owe ya something. If I see it in the store, I'm definitely gonna give a try just because of this post and just for kicks, of course. {-;