As we were eating dinner last night my husband said...
We need to have a talk.
About what?
About the buns you keep buying.
What?
You keep buying shag buns. Look at these things!
You know, it's funny you say that. Every time I go to the grocery store, I stand in the bread aisle and I can't decide which buns to buy. I just stand there, staring. It's become a thing.
A thing?
Yeah. A thing. I'm in the chips aisle and I know the bread aisle's next. And I'm thinking. Crud. Soon I have to contemplate the bun situation.
So, you're so stressed out you just decide to buy the worst ones? Look at these!
I have no stress whatsoever about regular bread. I just immediately pick up a loaf of Home Pride and throw it in the cart. Feeling sorta proud that I've made a healthy choice because it says "Wheat" on the package.
I've always like white bread better.
Well, white bread's not good for you. But, wheat hamburger and hot dog buns? Doesn't sound so appetizing.
Um. These shag buns you bought are wheat.
Oh. Well, that wasn't part of my decision making process the last time. I don't like the ones that look too small. And I don't like the ones that look too big either! I always think...what if the hamburgers shrivel up so much that all we feel like we're eating is the bun? I've just decided lately to buy the ones that look the freshest.
These aren't even fresh! Look! As he opens a hot dog bun and it cracks in half.
Well, I bought them last Sunday! Anyway. What about the whole sesame seed thing? Do you like sesame seeds on your buns? You'd think after 17 years I'd know. But, I don't. And I always forget to ask.
I have no strong opinion on sesame seeds either way. Sesame seeds are fine.
Give me a brand name. That's all I ask. It'll take a lot of pressure off.
Just go with Pepperidge Farms. Can't go wrong with Pepperidge Farms. Here. You need a bun?
No.
So, I'm the only one who's eating these shag buns tonight? Man!
Can you stop it already with the whole bun thing? Just eat it! Get it? Eat it!
You eat it!
I'm not going to eat any buns tonight. Especially shag buns. Too many carbs for no good reason. Plus, they look kind of stale.
My local market has these fresh mini kaiser rolls that do the trick for me.
And, please explain: Shag buns? Is this a type of bun or is shag a word meaning, in this case, crappy? I've never heard the phrase "shag buns."
Posted by: Kevin Wolf | September 01, 2006 at 09:33 AM
Yes. *Shag* means crappy. At least in the heartland -- you East Coast Elitist!
Or maybe we just made it up.
I don't even know!
:)
Posted by: blue girl | September 01, 2006 at 09:42 AM
Not made up, as I've known other folks to use it too. Shag = Crap
I tried those "Wheat Buns" before and it just tasted wrong for some reason. So I do the Kaisers like Kevin for Burgers and just get the cheapest white Dog buns available. Those don't usually stick around long enough to become any more Shag.
(I love these conversation pieces 'tween you an' "the skimmer"!)
Posted by: Michael Bains | September 01, 2006 at 09:57 AM
The bun probably didn't have the right condiments. Talk to Pinko.
Shag doesn't mean crappy in this part of the midwest. It's a carpet from the 70's.
Posted by: TC | September 01, 2006 at 10:07 AM
i'm with TC
when i read shag bun, i imagine a fuzzy bun that's on it's way to becoming its own ecosystem
Posted by: almostinfamous | September 01, 2006 at 11:39 AM
i imagine a fuzzy bun
Of course you do aif, cuz you think in fuzzy words all the time!
Posted by: blue girl | September 01, 2006 at 11:48 AM
Keep it up, and you may get out of shopping altogether?"
I admire that. You sound just like a husband!
Posted by: Ms Cornelius | September 01, 2006 at 06:35 PM
Kinda surprised no one has mentioned what Shag means to the Brits...
'Specially in regards to buns...
{-;
Posted by: Michael Bains | September 01, 2006 at 11:42 PM
i thought thiswas a family blog, MB!
Posted by: almostinfamous | September 02, 2006 at 07:57 AM
'Specially in regards to buns...
Bloody well what I was thinking when I saw the title. . .And I thought it was a family blog too.
I ten to say shwag instead of shag when using it the same way. Geuss that comes from being a "reformed" doper.
Posted by: DuWayne | September 02, 2006 at 06:43 PM
I'm with Michael on this one, being a Brit. I thought I was in for a session about the old man's predilections and how he'd do anything -- even shopping -- to put a hot dog ... er? where did he put that hot dog?
Posted by: Jeremy | September 03, 2006 at 01:53 AM
Oh my God!
Get your minds out the gutter, people!
:)
It's funny, but just a tad embarrassing!
:)
Posted by: blue girl | September 03, 2006 at 05:10 AM
Sure, Blue Girl -- we believe you. . . really (cough cough).
Posted by: Matt | September 03, 2006 at 12:59 PM
I think I'd use the term "trashy" to describe those buns. Those buns do not get my condiments, which BG unwisely put on notice.
Posted by: Pinko Punko | September 08, 2006 at 03:04 AM