Enough with the shag bun comments already! It was getting a little embarrassing. But real quick. I'm now Number One With a Bullet on Google if someone searches "shag buns." Here, look! Maybe this post will get me the Number One, Two and Three positions. Heck, my dream has always been to see Blue Girl In A Red State fill all ten positions on the first page of Google when someone searches for something. Might as well be for shag buns. And since I have the technology and know how to use it, maybe my dream can be realized.
Who knows where that could lead. Seeing that dream fulfilled could lead to other dreams coming true. I could get invited on The Colbert Report. (I could totally take him.) My achievement could be a "Breaking News" segment on Keith Olbermann. I could be a cable darling! Racing from green room to green room to discuss shag buns and how I manipulated technology to become the world-renowned expert.
I could get a book deal which would then lead to a big Hollywood movie. Well, maybe not a big Hollywood movie. Maybe just a little indie film. I will play me of course, and John Cusack will play The Skimmer. A successful little indie film (where I'm nominated for a Golden Globe) won't give you all an excuse to accuse me of selling out. Plus, you'll all be invited to opening night with me and John Cusack. And, of course, to the party afterwards. It will be fantastic!
You'll all tell me how fabulous my Shag Bun movie was and we'll all do a lot of air kissing and stuff.
And no! It's not going to be porn. If I told you all once, I've told you, um, like five times on this family blog...get your minds out of the gutter.
My movie is going to be high art.
I'm pretty sure it would become an instant cult classic. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Or Eraserhead.
I definitely know my box office will be a lot better than Snakes On A Plane. That one tanked big time. Although my Shag Buns movie will still have to have that blogospheric, Internet-viral-fako-hype like Snakes On A Plane did. And I'll have to rely on all of you for that. Yes! You will have to sell out for me. But, you will be rewarded. With air kisses...remember?
So, now all I have to do is get this plan rolling. Keep writing posts about Shag Buns and somehow get Stephen Colbert to notice -- and then I'm on my way to the big time.
And when it happens, just remember...I Called It!
Air kisses!
Has anyone shown up at your site looking for shag buns yet? When they do, that'll be another post worth writing. I'm still No. 1 on "funny thing with mens privets spinning". I used to have a good spot on searches for "girls privets" but I fear I've been overtaken by events. I'll link to your shag buns if you link to my girls privets.
Posted by: Jeremy | September 04, 2006 at 07:16 AM
Neither one of those films became an 'instant' classic. They survived by word of mouth and midnight art house showings for years. Encore network sometimes runs a documentary called Midnight Movies that does a great job of showing how a movie becomes a classic cult film.
John Cusack? Really? I like his movies but I've always found him to be a little bland. He's kind of shag buns if you compare him to Jeremy Piven. Now there's an actor.
Posted by: Dean | September 04, 2006 at 08:26 AM
Jeremy, do you think if we link to each other we have a better chance of hitting the big time? :) If so, I'm in!
:)
Dean, well, my movie is going to become an *instant* classic.
Jeremy Piven is a good actor, but I can't see that there would be a "spark" between him and me.
John Cusack is my guy right now. I just watched High Fidelity and loved it.
I liked the way you used "shag buns" as a real phrase. Maybe we could start a real catch phrase! And they'll end up using it on Saturday Night Live!
Posted by: blue girl | September 04, 2006 at 08:47 AM
As Tom Servo said, Aim High, Sister!
But knowing how reality tends to downgrade dreams a little bit, I would expect something more along the lines of
-a warning from you ISP about pornographic spam
-not quite an independent film, but a little digital video of a couple of minutes, that:
-becomes the background for Stephen Colbert's lightsaber video
-and costars Johnny Knoxville.
Maybe you should just stick to going for a Googlewhack: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googlewhack
Posted by: TC | September 04, 2006 at 11:47 AM
TC is a dream crusher!
:)
Posted by: blue girl | September 04, 2006 at 12:28 PM
TC is so shag buns.
I was thinking along the lines of Gross Point Blank where Jeremy Pivin steals every scene he's in.
Posted by: Dean | September 04, 2006 at 02:23 PM
There is a LOT I would do for a chance to meet Cusack (sigh...).
"This is me breathing."
Jeremy Pivin is fine too ("Ten! Years! ten YEEEARS!" while holding his breath is quite a feat), but it's John that rocks.
This is a fine vision, Shag Bun Queen. It's almost as good an idea as getting the hub to do the grocery shopping.
Posted by: Ms. Cornelius | September 04, 2006 at 05:19 PM
If the husband goes shopping, it's all meat, chips, condiments and beer.
I saw it on a commercial so it must be so.
Posted by: TC | September 04, 2006 at 08:02 PM
Not true TC. Sometimes I come home with Ice Cream and Cheese.
Posted by: Dean | September 04, 2006 at 08:18 PM
So right now you're numbers one and two on Google ... keep goin' ...
Posted by: Chuck Champion | September 04, 2006 at 08:19 PM
My husband said once...
You know, I think I'm going to have to do the grocery shopping. Every time you come home with stuff, nothing's that...um...edible.
Which I didn't understand *at all*, cuz it's not like I buy $100 worth of tin foil and charcoal.
I *knew* at that time, I could get out of grocery shopping if I *really* put my mind to it.
:)
Posted by: blue girl | September 04, 2006 at 08:41 PM
So do you mean to tell me that my wife actually can cook and she hoodwinked me into doing all the cooking that time she made an alfredo sauce with confectionary sugar instead of fluor? You'd think that something made with cream and sugar wouldn't be aweful. Trust me, alfredo sauce made that way is wretched.
Posted by: dean | September 04, 2006 at 09:22 PM
that time she made an alfredo sauce with confectionary sugar instead of fluor?
She sounds like my kinda girl!
Posted by: blue girl | September 04, 2006 at 10:32 PM
John Cusack? Really? I like his movies but I've always found him to be a little bland. He's kind of shag buns if you compare him to Jeremy Piven. Now there's an actor.
Not sure who Jeremy Privens is but John Cusack is the man. I'm not terribely gay but I'd, uh - never mind. Suffice to say, I'm fond of John Cusack. And shag bunns. . .
Posted by: DuWayne | September 04, 2006 at 11:06 PM
Done!
Posted by: Jeremy | September 05, 2006 at 05:32 AM
Well, clearly a lot of people like to hang out at BG's and talk about shag buns.
Posted by: Kevin Wolf | September 05, 2006 at 07:29 AM
Bossy is so sorry but John Cusack is, like, so taken. Everyone knows that Bossy is the Official Cyberstalker of that tall Chicago actor she likes to call Johnny. But, you know - perhaps Anthony Michael Hall is still available?
Posted by: BOSSY | September 05, 2006 at 10:32 AM
Shaggy....buns? I am so confused.
Posted by: Res Publica | September 05, 2006 at 07:27 PM
Res, honey, read the first link in the very first sentence!@!!11!
... then you'll get it.
I guess you'll have to read the comments too.
Posted by: blue girl | September 05, 2006 at 07:36 PM
Ugh...you and your "reading".
Posted by: Res Publica | September 05, 2006 at 11:05 PM
I'm so excited! It's started. Someone showed up after Googling "elephant shag". I was number two. (G.W. Bush was No. 1)
Posted by: Jeremy | September 07, 2006 at 07:23 AM
Someone showed up after Googling "elephant shag". I was number two. (G.W. Bush was No. 1)
LOL! Figures!
:)
Posted by: blue girl | September 07, 2006 at 07:31 AM