An Open Letter To Tom Watson. Part II

Dear Tom,

I took the night to ponder this situation.  You know.  The whole -- you owe me situation.  And I think I've figured out what you need to do to get yourself out of this fix you find yourself in.  You'll notice in this comment thread that a lot of people have the opinion that you should be buying everyone cocktails.  Bribery!  What better way to assure a high turnout on November 7?  Who am I to argue with my smart readers?

I think we may skip dinner and go straight for the cocktails.

So, be prepared to belly up to the bar.

A bunch of us, whoever wants to come, will meet here for sure.  I mean, note the name of the bar.  It's a sign.  Now, I'm going to provide some instructions for specific *clicking.*  Please follow the rules Tom, or you may end up owing me even more.

Now.  *Click* the link above and look to the left and *click* the link that says Signature Cocktails.

Everyone who attends will have their choice of cocktails from that menu.  At first I thought I'd go with The Parker.  Named after Dorothy Parker, The Reigning Wit of the Algonquin Round Table.  I've always felt that she and I would've be great friends.  Because, you know, I have a very active fantasy life. 

But then, as I continued reading the menu, I saw the cocktail for me.

The Martini on the Rock

It's a special occasion martini!  Perfect!

But, knowing now that that's the drink I'm going to order, you have to make a reservation.  So, being helpful, as I always try to be, here's the number:  (212) 419-9325.

Please note that the price of the martini can vary.  I think I would like it best if it came out of a blue box prior to being placed at the bottom of my beautiful martini glass.

I'm jus sayin'.

Blue girl readers:  What cocktail would you like Tom to buy you?  Which one do you think would ensure you showing up to vote on November 7?

Remember!  This is all about being patriotic and a good American and caring about our democracy.

What appeals most to you?  The New Yorker?  The Viscious Circle?  They all sound yummy.

From the description I think Tom's going to probably order The Slush Pile.

Again.  I'm jus sayin'.

Comments

[Tom W.]

The Au Pear, actually - a strange concoction, but seems to be popular...

[Claire]

The Parker looks right to me. But what's the deal with no gin??

[blue girl]

Ok. So far Tom's tab is:

$10,000ish + $14.

[Jennifer]

I'm going to have to go for the Parker. "If men act like asses, they must buy full glasses"... no, I'll have to work on that...

[Kevin Wolf]

I prefer to pay for my own drinks, thank you.

But I'll join you all!

[blue girl]

Kevin! Don't try to stick up for Tom! This is no time for boys vs. girls business.

This is serious stuff!

Boy, I would *really* like to meet all you guys there though. Wouldn't that be fun?

[grasshopper]

If you do this, please, please include me. I do not drink alcohol--migraines. But I love parties, NOT of course the evermore demonic US Republican party, but almost every other kind. And for me, the Algonquin's "Blue Room," where I have never gone, is but a short subway ride, Election Day or Night.

[blue girl]

grasshopper, did you see Tom Watson's comment to you on my last post?

:)

[roxtar]

Make mine a Rye Manhattan. Get it? "Wry" Manhattan! Take that, Dorothy Parker! Pearls before swine, my ass! Oho! Barnyard humour at the expense of the ultimate urban sophisticate! I guess I'll just pull up a seat at the head of the Round Table. And then to the Carlyle to whiz on the grave of Bobby Short! Tally-ho!

[BOSSY]

Bossy doesn't know which cocktail she'd prefer because she's still stuck on the part that says $14 a piece. The Chocolate Sundae Martini sounds like a perfectly good waste of chocolate and whipped cream. The Fair Lady sounds like a perfectly good waste of White Peach Nectar. Coconut milk - no. Lime juice - no. Can't an alcoholic get a drink with alcohol in it? Bossy will have a New Yorker, hold everything but the tequila.

[blue girl]

roxtar, you made me laugh. And I needed it. Thanks.

BOSSY, Tom's buying. So...$14 sounds cheap to me.

:)

[Jennifer]

BG- I'm just curious... but what will Tom be wearing to this? I think it would be especially nice if we could get him to not only buy the drinks, but serve them to us in cocktail waitress garb. I've heard he has fabulous calves... Any chance Tom will not only be buying the grapes, but peeling them as well???

[Jennifer]

I forgot... I was feeling bad all day for suggesting Tom was acting like an ass... in a previous comment I wrote: "If men act like asses, they must buy full glasses"... What I really meant to say was... "If men have nice asses, they must buy a round of full glasses..." Okay, that was lame too, but it's been a crazy day. I think we all need a drink. Can we go to the Algonquin tonight???

[grasshopper]

Oh BG, Thanks for tipping me off to Tom Watson's comment. So I guess I'm not invited. Though I will take what I can get and pressing my nose to the glass is more fun than yoga every night. I might even turn my lips inside out and press them for maximum grossness, but I'll wait until everyone's finished with a first drink. And then, too, I still would need to know when the party I am being excluded from (all because I haven't checked out every blog on your inky wretches yet) is happening. When will you be slurping up the intoxicants so I can come and press my big old face against the glass? Actually, the Algonquin most likely will not stand for any "Little Match Girl" routines. I'll be rushed away with the rest of the bums.
I love NY. I can't make upright hearts. Just I <} NY! Does that count? What a great city!

[Jennifer]

Grasshopper- You will not be pressing your nose/mouth against the window! You'll be inside having a virgin Dorothy Parker served to you by your cocktail waitress, Tom Watson!

[Bunter]

Mmmm, The New Yorker assuming I can get them to leave out the Fruit Nectar!

[Michael Bains]

I'll try the Sour Apple. It should help me make faces at grasshopper and the gang of match-kids with faces pressed 'gainst the windows.

Since Tom W is buying, I'll actually be able to buy some of their matches too!

:)

[Mr Met]

You all do realize that if the stars really are lining up for Tom, then about a week before the Democrats retake Congress the Mets will have won the World Series?

The man will already be bankrupt from buying all of New York drinks to celebrate the Mets' first Championship since 1986. He'll probably still be hung over, if not still drunk.

I think you're taking advantage of the poor guy. Maybe you all should buy him a drink, since he'll have done most of the heavy lifting, rooting the Mets home blogging the Dems to victory?

[blue girl]

Oh no!

Chucky's in my comment thread!

[Scorpio]

These open letters aren't to Tom-Watson-the-golfer, are they? Because that would be too wierd. He is one of my first husband's distant cousins.