Crazy For Pears

Claire took a pretty picture of four pears and posted it on her blog.  Because her post reminded me just how much I love pears, I decided to re-post the beautiful oil painting of a pear The Skimmer did for me a several years ago.
Much to my dismay, I don't have this painting anymore.  I had a friend who fell in love with it, talking about it non-stop for weeks.  With The Skimmer's permission, I gave it to her as a gift.   (I figured he'd paint another one for me if I begged long enough.) 

Within months of giving her this painting, our friendship took a strange turn.  She started to act bizarre.  Or, as James Wolcott might say, psycho loco. 

She became very possessive of me.  Very reminiscent of Glen Close's character in Fatal Attraction.  Suddenly I realized I couldn't turn down any invitation she extended for fear she might key my car.  Or, when she'd call to talk, I'd be afraid to try to hang up for fear of prank calls from her the rest of the night.

Finally, I decided I had to break up with her.  Yes.  I had to break up with a girl friend.  Very strange.

Luckily she took the hint and we all avoided a showdown in my bathroom with a butcher knife.  Phew!  I would've really hated that.

I hope The Skimmer reads this and takes a hint, too.  I'd like another pear painting.  I'll even beg a little if I have to.  But not too much!  Don't want to come off all psycho loco.

Comments

[Claire]

*LOVE* the painting. Tell the Skimmer he needs to paint you a new one pronto. He did an excellent job on the first.

Oh god, psycho loco is a brillant phrase and I'm going to try and incorporate it into my life. Breaking up with friends is NOT an easy thing to do, but it *is* necessary at times. My roommate and I have been trying to shake this very passive-agressive unhappy girl, but sometimes they are hard to shake completely!

(Do you like my multiple ways of emphasizing?)

[Global Citizen]

That is a great painting of my favorite fruit.

Breaking up with girlfriends is way scarrier than dumping a guy, well most guys anyway, at least what I remember about it. I used to just say "We have to talk..." and then finish with "I understand - But I have plans and you aren't in them." That usually worked pretty well.

But I had to get rid of a girl friend like that once - afterward, she went into my house while I was at work and cut the high strings on my piano!!! My piano didn't do anything to her!

Psycho Loco indeed.

[Global Citizen]

ps - I am at www.bluegalinaredstate.blogspot.com

We have visited one another in the past!...:)

[blue girl]

Hi Claire and GC...thanks, The Skimmer will appreciate the compliments and I'll score some points!

...talk about passive aggressive

:)

If you looked up psycho loco in the dictionary, a picture of that girl's face -- that I wrote about above -- would be there.

And now I think "Piano Strings Girl" would be there, too.

God! What's with that?

That's crazy!

[blue girl]

Claire, what's passive aggressive unhappy girl doing to you?

[Jennifer]

Freaky story. I've had friend break-ups like that as well. I'm kind of bummed though that she still has the pear painting. It looks like The Skimmer put a bit of his soul into that... I think you need to call some "other-worldly" help to get it back! Or... maybe he could retrieve it by merely painting you another one.

[Jennifer]

Hey, BG... I forgot... how big was that painting? Was it a ginormous pear or was it a dainty pear?

[Claire]

Nothing but SERIOUSLY bumming me out. She's one of those people that can't make a declarative sentence to save her life. She can make a bunch of stuttering, stopping, spluttering noises in its place, though. WHICH HAS TO BE THE MOST ANNOYING THING IN THE WORLD. Example, one time my roommate hung out with her and her friend (who could be cool but continues to live with an unsavory young man), and said she'd drive them all home. Now my roommate asked for directions and turned down this street, not knowing it was one-way the other way. Instead of being a normal person who would say, "Hey! You're going the wrong way!" PA girl spluttered and said something about how roommate didn't have to drive her home, it was no big deal, etc. Then roommate realized her mistake and looked at her and said, "Did you say that because I'm going the wrong way on this street?" And the girl sort of said yes and roommate could have kicked her out then and there.

Besides the PA thing, she just seems like one of those unhappy people that doesn't want to be unhappy and just wants to talk about how unhappy she is. That is not my idea of a good time.

[The Heretik]

Sometimes friendship grows smaller, not larger. The larger the hole within, the more we would fall into someone else.

Maybe.

[grasshopper]

BG, when you break up with someone, male or female, always try to get any and all precious things you've ever bestowed upon him or her as a token of affection: BACK! (If your friend the artist did paint you a new painting it woud, I'm sure, be lovely, but it would not be the same.)

Be it rings, Cds, jackets or books, returning things you've lent or shared seals the deal: We're not the buds we used to be.

Losing friends is horrible enough without losing gifts other friends have given you.

Oh, and I adore pears! These last two months everytime I've left the house, I've hurried to buy pears from some farm stand--only to spit out my first juicless, wooden taste. Then I read an article that since a certain government had kept at bay, ie., denied all border access to the poor people we traditionally depend upon to pick the fruit when it all turns ripe at once, the USA fruit FARMERS this year are left with ankle deep, inedible pear mush on the ground. So the few pears that make it to market this fall are apt to be be bruised and battered, rock hard in spots and a deliquescing mess in others.
Sooner or later these idiots in charge are going to go one step too far--and really make me mad.

[almostinfamous]

tears for pears, eh, grasshopper?

yay! i made a not-so-funny. guess who's back in the saddle!

[Michael Bains]

w00t! Another post that (which?) makes me feel "not-so-out there"!

tears for pears

Lots of Laughs!

{-;

Sounds like PA, psycho loco girl needs at least 2 things: The friends she has (cuz you're great Claire!) and for them to call her out on her crap with the admonition that she's gonna lose a lot more than Them if she doesn't get her head together.

The Skimmer's work really does to be Rockin'. Classic!

I've got a special place in my heart for pears as ... well

Maybe that's a story best saved for later. It's part of the explanation for why I do get sooooooo down and disinterested in "the real world".

[Claire]

Aw, thanks Michael! :)

[BOSSY]

Fabulous pear. Looks sweet enough to sliver into Bossy's watercress salad with blue cheese.

[A. Person]

That is a great painting! That's wierd about your friend. I hope she is ok now. Have you gotten another painting yet?

[A. Person]

And yes, my real name is A. Person. I know it looks like a person, but it's Alexandra Person, and the last name is pronounced PEER-SON. Everyone thinks it's pronounced person. By the way I really like that pear.

[A. Person]

And yes, my real name is A. Person. I know it looks like a person, but it's Alexandra Person, and the last name is pronounced PEER-SON. Everyone thinks it's pronounced person. By the way I really like that pear.

[Rebecca]

sorry who painted tihs painting i am using it as my contextual reference and i myself have painted it and need some information about it.... Can you please help???? x o x o x bexx

[Perkey]

Pears paintings looks great!