blue girl

Still Trance Beautiful

A visit to Bobness's Rainbow Kingdom has me very mellow.  How mellow?  This mellow.

I've lost half my coolness already, according to TC.  Wonder if I'll be completely uncool after he sees this.  Watch it TC!  I may have to get the Million Dollar Couple out again!

Wait.  I am way too mellow for all those exclamation points.  Please disregard my punctuation usage.

"I Am Trance Beautiful"

I got rather worked up over this last night.  Was still all worked up over it when I got up this morning.  But, I'm not going to go into the whole thing here.  The whole issue of why it's not cool at all to call a woman a "whore" even if she is a sell-out, or why you should refrain from rotten name calling (specifically and especially, the dreaded, ugly C-word.) when blogging about the opposition. 

Nope, I'm not going into all that.  I'm going to go into my happy trippy journey that I just took through the blogosphere and take you all along with me.  Ever need to completely escape?  Just remember Bobness has A Rainbow Kingdom.

When I'm stressed out, you know, about to blow, I just close my eyes and take a deep cleansing breath and let my mind drift peacefully to the Rainbow Kingdom of the Sparkle Pony Angels. Soon, I feel warm waves from the Sea of Euphorinica wash over me and I can hear the soft tinkling laughter of Sparkle Pony Angels playing just over the pink glimmery sand dunes.  My toes are warm in the amethyst sea as the soft surf laps over my feet and draws the nervous energy from me. I am unbound. 

I open my eyes now. Seagulls with peppermint wings wheel low over the wet beach where the tangerine foam lines quiver to each new wave gently drawing to shore. The sun is cotton candy.  I walk up a gently undulating dune to see the Sparkle Pony Angels.  The sound of their bell like giggling and teaseful whinnying grows louder. As I crest the dune, there is a sudden flash of rainbow color and pink sand clouds up in my face, tickling my nose haha! and the Sparkle Pony Angels are galloping gone. In a flash! Those silly ponies.  They play tag and they play hide and seek. 

My nerves have calmed. Whatever it was that drove me to the fantastical escape that is the Rainbow Kingdom is forgotten - grabbed by the Seagulls and flown out to sea and dropped to sink in the fathomless depths....

...I wander in a mindless haze over and between the pink dunes and emerald grasses.  I am trance beautiful.  The Rainbow Kingdom blankets me. The other world is yesterday's dream.

Oh man, the sun is cotton candy and my bells are giggling.  I feel better now, don't you?  Go read the whole trippy thing.  Bobness and his bonfires.  Oh, how they do burn.

Jeddie Ningo Lives Blogs Studio 60! Tonight at Mance Lannions.

Jeddie Ningo, expert spoonerismer that he is, has agreed to make a special guest appearance at Lannion's place to live blog tonight's episode of Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60. 

Here's what I want to know...

Will Matt and the blonde Christian girl finally get a clue?  And if not, can Jeddie give them one?

Will Tom be wearing Jesus garb of any sort and if not, or if so, what will Jeddie think of it?

Will the Brit Chick have a bigger role in tonight's episode?  Will Lannion keep droning on and on about her in the comment thread?  I don't even have to ask what Jeddie will think of her.  I know his thoughts on such matters all too well.

Will everyone still love Wings' guy?  Will Jeddie?  I didn't like him ... ok, ok.  I didn't like his hair the first couple of episodes and he looks like he doesn't have any eyelashes.  It was like he was sans hair.  But, his hair's grown out and he's grown on me.  Everyone at Lannion's place was all ... he's the best character, he's got some internal and external conflicts going, so he's a good character, blah, blah, blah.  And I was always like ... I don't like his hair!  Grow it out already!

Will Charlie be in the comment thread making Cleveland jokes?

Will sweet Victoria show up to encourage people to buy me even more Christmas presents?

Will Wolcott show up?  Hope so.  It's more fun making shallow comments about the actresses' breasts when he's there.  Oh sorry.  That was a private joke between me and Mr. Wolcott.

Will Jeddie love to make shallow comments about the actresses' breasts?  Um, yeah, duh!  Helllloooooo?!

Will Jennifer, of the extraordinary blog, Saying Yes... show up to support her live blogging colleagues with her experience, wit and wisdom?  (She better!  Remember Jennifer!  I am the judge of you!)

Will Ed Asner keep saying Macaca, or whatever it is that he says that freaks people out?  If so, will it freak Jeddie out?

Will I care about Amanda Peet's sordid past?  Um, no.  Will Jeddie?  Who knows!  Will I still think she's pretty?  Um, yes.  Will Jeddie?  Um, yes.

Will Bradley Whitford still be as hot and sexy as he always is? Glue Birl says, um, probably so.  But, I'm not sure Jeddie will care.

Only time will tell.  And that time begins at Lannion's place around 9:55 Eastern, 8:55 Central.

Be there or be square.

Yeah, I'm lookin' at you Pinko Punko.

Mannion Visits Hyde Park

Lance and his family went to Hyde Park on Friday.  I've always wanted to go, but reading all of Lance's posts is the next best thing.  I especially liked this from his post, "My friends..."

One of the buildings on the grounds at Springwood is his Presidential Library and Museum.

(snip)

Most of the library is actually museum.  Books and documents are out of sight.  The rooms are full of memorobilia and large photographs. There's one large room, practically a whole wing, devoted just to Eleanor.

The opposite wing houses a rotating series of exhibitions devoted to specific aspects of the Roosevelts' lives and times.  The exhibtion there now focuses on FDR's role as Commander in Chief during the War.

Too much to get into here.  One of my favorite items, though, was a poem Eleanor kept in her wallet when she traveled on behalf of the war effort.  It's in the case with the blue Red Cross uniform she wore when she visited hospitals and military bases.

Dear Lord,
Lest I continue
My complacent way
Help me to remember that somewhere, somehow out there,
A Man died for me today.
As long as there be war,
I then must ask and answer,
Am I worth dying for?

Read all of his posts here.  They're just great.

Wonder How Cool He'll Think This Is?

Unless, of course, when he wrote he learned the hard way, that meant that he had admitted at some point in the past that he liked them, too.  Thus, now being half as cool as he was at one point some time previously.  And if that's the case, please disregard the "meta" aspect of this post.  The million dollar cartoon couple will apologize at a later date.

Wonder If He'll Get This?

We Wouldn't Have To Eat Kraft Dinner. But, We Would Eat Kraft Dinner! We'd Just Eat More!

Everybody now!

If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love...

Giving Thanks

It's 1:30am.  Guess that means it's Thanksgiving Day.  I just got done baking 9,000 dinner rolls for the 35 people who are coming over tomorrow.  I mean, today. 
Ok.  Ok.  They're biscuits.  Whatever.  I tried to give them that dinner roll look.  Don't think it matters much.  They're going to taste just fine with turkey and gravy.  I do believe I'd win a bread-only bake-off.  Don't you?  Wouldn't even have to cheat this time.

While the biscuits were baking, I started setting the table.  Normally, I go all out.  With a beautiful tablecloth and add crytal corner weights to make sure the tablecloth hangs just so.  Not this year though.  The Skimmer used my gorgeous William-Sonoma tablecloth as a dropcloth when he was painting some landscape.  Pshaw!  It's totally ruined.  So, I had to use a runner.  Two runners, actually.  Still looks pretty though.  Not that anyone's going to care at all after they've had their third glass of wine. 
If you look real close in this shot, you can see the back of Corn Guy.  Corn Guy garnered lots of attention in this comment thread.  So, I promised to post about him.  He is a very corny character that I picked up from God knows where.  I'm sure I had the kids in mind when I bought him.  He deserves to be thrown away.  After he's been thrown against the wall and stomped on.  And set on fire.  Holding that "Giving Thanks" sign and everything?  How tacky can I be?

This tacky.

This corny.
Hey!  I think he should go to the Winner of the 2006 Holiday, Yeah, I said Holiday, Bill O'Reilly, What Are You Gonna Do About It, Bake-Off Extravanganza!  He should be passed from winner to winner every year.  Take the winner down a notch.  Ok, what a great idea.  Since I'm The Chair of the judging committee this year, sitting on my Golden Thrown and everything, I'm making that a rule.  The Winner gets Corn Guy and must keep him throughout the year.  Display him prominently during Thanksgiving festivities, take picures, post them on your blog, then relinquish him when your time is done.  How fun and corny is that?  Pretty fun and corny, I must say.

And speaking of fun.  I heard this song on the way home from the grocery store tonight and thought of all of you.

Yeah, it's pretty corny.  But, that's me.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  You guys are the best.  Mean that.

Can't Cover It Up Anymore

I can't find that tablecloth that I bought at William-Sonoma a few years ago.  You know.  The pretty blue and cream one with the grape design?  Have you seen it?

Hmmm.

I usually put it in the back closet in the mudroom.  It's not there.  Where would I have put it?

I know where it is.  I've been putting off telling you.

What?  Oh good!  Where is it?  What are you talking about?

It's upstairs by my art easel.

Why is it there?  Ok, I've got to go get it and wash it for tomorrow.

Not worth it.

What?

Not worth it.

What are you talking about?

I used it as a dropcloth.

What?!

I used it as a dropcloth.

You used my great, gorgeous, expensive, thick, luxurious William-Sonoma tablecloth as a dropcloth?  The only tablecloth that fits our dining room table when both the leaves are in?

Hmmm.  Yep.

Well, I am not thankful at all for that!  What am I gonna do?!

What about those runners?

Oh!  Yeah!  The runners!  Where are they?

I don't know.  I'm not in charge of the runners.

Wonder if they're in the bottom of the hutch.  Ahhhh!  Yes.  They.  Are!  And look!  All my cloth napkins are here, too!  Do, do, do, do, do, dah!  Do, do, do, do, do, dah!  I'm so organized, I can hardly stand myself!  Do, do, do, do, do, dah!  And here are my turkey salt and pepper shakers!  And my little corn guy holding a "Give Thanks" sign!  Do, do, do, do, do, dah!

Thaaaaaaat's great.

You know.  You have to eat some of the green bean casserole now tomorrow!  It's your punishment!

No.  Why!  I won't do it.

For ruining my gorgeous tablecloth.  That's why!  Your punishment is going to be a mixture of icky, gross green beans covered in cream of mushroom soup!  Cream of mushroom soup for you!  Ok.  I've got to go iron my napkins.  These'll look great with the runner!

See?  You should thank me.

It's soup for you, buddy!  Icky cream of mushroom soup for you!

Confectionary, Script Revision 2

Confectionary
Directed by Christopher Guest  (Pshaw!  Directed by blue girl!)

Casting by Brando

Edited with Pshaws! and other wisecracks by blue girl

Swiped without regret or fear of lawsuits from Pinko Punko.

Starring:
Catherine O'Hara as Blue Girl  (That's good, very Madeline Kahn-like.  Flames!)

Michael McKean as Res Publica

Christopher Guest as Midniter

Ed Begley, Jr. as Pinko Punko  (Natch)

Cheryl Hines as Geenie Cola

Parker Posey as Adorable Girlfriend

Dave Foley as The Uncanny Canadian

Harry Shearer as Lance Mannion and Jedmunds

Jennifer Coolidge as Ms. Annie Angel

Eugene Levy as almostinfamous

Fred Willard as Chuckles

Penn Jillette (who is Penn Jillette?) as TC

and

Filliam H Muffman (who is Filliam H Muffman?) as plover

***

To read Confectionary, Original Script, go here.

Confectionary, Script Revision 2:

missannieangel
Annie, AG’s new BBF is going to win the bake-off.  Anie has a plan.  A plan that involves gingerbread AND shortbread.  (Noted)

almostinfamous
this damn bake-off has gone too far! (Pshaw!)

Adorable Girlfriend
There will be fierce competition this year, Annie. We got some serious Midwest gals who know food and baking.  (Pshaw!)  Luckily, AG has a Midwest plan.

AG started buying the ingredients yesterday. Stuff was on sale and since this bake-off is going to cost so damn much and UC is going to basically complain without helping, AG has to start preparing and working-out early.  (Noted)

Back to the Betty Crocker Mobile…

Res Publica
All this fierce competition is making me very hungry! I busted my hump on last year’s bake-off (Whatever already!) so I’m really looking forward to just laying back and basically having the mailman tip boxes of baked goods into my cookie-hole.

missannieangel
As long as AG or Annie wins, Annie is happy.

TC
Wow.

BG’s bake-off thread has now infiltrated, one, two, three… is that FIVE blogs? Or six?  (Probably more.  Get with the program!)  (I only made it through second semester calc and am totally confused by CSS style mathemunching, involving up to eight tentacles).

almostinfamous
TC, you can still  go back in time and make yourself a contestant so that you can be a judge this time.

Adorable Girlfriend
TC, 3B! showed up on RoD last year, which is the owner of the bake-off, not BG. (Pshaw!)  For the record, they came freely and demanded cookies. They offered cash, judging abilities, cars, whatever it took to be on the recieving end of cookies. Thus, 3B! has a responsibility to report on the cookies. This is no small matter. Don’t be a playah hater.

AG
2005 Chair of the RoD Holiday Bake-Off Judging Committee
(AG should so put that on her CV)

TC
Ahh. I was unaware of the epistemology of the Blue Girl World Wide Bake-Off and Universal Domination Initiative. Thank you for the enlightenment; obviously RoD is a place of class and sophistication.  (With all that porn?  Pshaw!)

Entering the contest would be a markedly bad idea. My baking skillz are less than legendary  (So are mine -- and I WON!  Take that!)  indeed, they are most non-triumphant. Paramedics might be needed. In fact, permanent damage could not be ruled out.

I think it’s actually an alien form of bloggo-viral infection.

But am TOTALLY surprised that 3B got infected.  Must have been weakened by the mecha-emu. 

I foresee a time in the near future when all blogs are either competing in, or discussing, one of Blue Girl’s baking contests, or the cheating therin.  (Wise man) 

I, for one, will NOT be welcoming our mecha-baking overlords.  Unless they are sharing their sweety treats.

Adorable Girlfriend
TC, AG is a Jew — she makes reservations. Having said that — it’s about secret weapons, power, pride and making UC bow to AG’s cookies (He’ll love those goyishly decorated cookies no doubt). Get a secret weapon and enter, dude!

Res Publica
You can’t be the chair of the damn judging committee if you’re a CONTESTANT.  (Um.  Please read what she wrote!) *I* am the chair of the judging committee.  (Pshaw!)  Don’t make me take my shoe off.

Adorable Girlfriend
Hello, Res?  What year are we in?

You gotta stop yelling at AG and read more carefully, dollface. (Say it, sistah!)

Furthermore, BG is the Chair.  (Why, of course!)  The winner of last year’s contest is the Chair. Let AG review the spreadsheet because last time we all checked, you were lucky number 2. Wah Wah.  (Natch)

Mendacious D
(He’ll love those goyishly decorated cookies no doubt)

“Don we now our Goy apparel…”

And I do hope everything is prepared in a Kosher fashion.

Sadly, my bad-@ss choco-walnut cookies are geographically prevented from entering. Discrimination!

(Also, way to hijack the thread.)

Res Publica
BG is the Chair of the Blue Girl Fantasy Fairy-Candy-Land Magical Pony-Bake Committee, which consists of BG, BG and BG.  (Pshaw!  Pshaw!  Pshaw!)

Also, when did we ever decide that the winner gets to be the next year’s chair?  (Um.  Last year!  Duh!)  When did we ever even create a committee?  (Um.  Last year!  Duh!)  You’re just making things up.  (Nuh uh!)  I was not elected to watch my baked goods suffer and die while you debate this in a committee!! Or something.

And I yell because I like it.  It’s fun.

Adorable Girlfriend
Res, it was well documented that BG would serve as teh Chair.  (Yep, yep it was.) I think you might have missed that memo because you were busy pouting.  (Boo-hoo)

As for your baked goods, AG created a committee to try to help your cookies win.  (What?!! -- That is *Noted* AG!)  At the end of the day, it was Pinko who the committee had to take to the wood shed over the chewy issue. We tried, but what can you do when you have two stoners as judges, Lance Mannion who is way in love with BG (Pshaw!) and Pinko, UC and your BFF AG. Trust me, you needed AG to Chair a committee with these characters.

Pinko Punko
Also, need I point out AGAIN that Res hosed himself by have TOO MANY CHOICES.  It brought down his average.  (Yawn...)

blue girl
1)  RoD, which is the owner of the bake-off, not BG 

Untrue. *I* came up with the Bake-off contest and challenged Res. (Yes I did!)  I have proof. Bloggy documentation. (Yes I do!)  So, I not only *WON* last year’s bake-off, but I also own it into perpetuity. (Yes I do!)  So. There’s that.

2) When speaking of me and Res and chairs.  Res has one of those picnic fold out cheapy deals from WalMart and I, my friends, have a thrown. So. There’s that.

That is all.

Signed,

The owner of the bake-off who sits on a thrown who writes posts that go waaaaaaay over Res’ head.

Thank you for your time.

TC
Throne. (!)

BUT - and I say this as a spectator and a fan, not to be critical - since Blue Girl’s RSS feed ‘is screwed up’ and she has been known to eat ice cream cones incorrectly, (Pshaw!)  as well as misspelling ‘Throne’ TWICE, (Eat it!) is she an appropriate candidate for supreme judge and Chair of something so critical as the judging committee for the 2006 Blue Girl International Baking Jamboree and Supreme Blogging Domination World’s Fair?  (Why, of course!  The only appropriate choice!  Do not question such logic!  You will be punished as I sit on my thrown and order my underlings to thrash you!  Res!  Thrash him!)

blue girl
LOL!

Why did I spell it that way?

I can’t even blame it on my fast typing.  Or maybe I can.  I don’t know.

Adorable Girlfriend
BG: We hosted the bake-off. While you may have challenged Res, he baked his cookies first and got on Sadly No! for it. (I remember.  And he gave me credit.  That's why he *knows* I own it!)  Kind of thinking it belongs to RoD. We also hosted the event last year. It shouldn’t matter because you won. Give Res something…

Res Publica
"I, my friends, have a thrown."

No, you ARE thrown.  But I think you meant that you HAVE a THRONE.

Res Publica
"Give Res something…"

BG is like the Borg.  She just assimilates everything.  (What's a Borg?  Are they cool?  Do they win things while using coconut?  Do they have throwns?)

blue girl
"Give Res something…"

No.  (Eat it!)

...to be continued.