I did not cheat in the 2005 Holiday, Yeah, We Said Holiday, Bill O'Reilly, What Are You Gonna Do About It, Bake-Off Extravaganza! I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
Nuh, uh! I did not!
Just because I baked four different kinds of cookies ... from scratch even. Including edible Playdough Cookie Wreaths dyed a pretty limeish green color. They glowed in the dark!
Just because I lined beautiful and festive Santa boxes with tin foil and wrapped the cookies in wax paper and green and red tissue paper.
Just because I made everyone Christmas music CD's -- except AG and UC -- they got a general CD just filled with your typical, conservative rock 'n roll.
Just because I designed my own original recipe cards of all the things I baked and included them in the package.
Just because I designed an original Holiday Letter wishing everyone Peace and Joy this holiday season.
Just because I made a special CD just for Pinko Punko from Jedmunds.
Just because I two-day UPS'd my packages so they would arrive before Christmas.
Just because of all of that does not mean I cheated! I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
Nuh, uh! I did not!
***
Oh. And. Attention Bakers-to-be: If you're bakery tastes good while I'm drinking one of these, you may be golden. I've just decided this is going to be my drink of the holiday season. Just tryin' to help ya.
Wow, I had no idea that you cheated that extensively!
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 09:40 AM
Man. I need to start planning offensively NOW.
Posted by: Claire | November 19, 2006 at 10:01 AM
Sounds like BG is gonna be doing some drunk-blogging this Festivus!
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 10:03 AM
Man! I hope I figure out this recipe soon!
This Judge is gonna be hard!
(But I'm thinkin' that particular toddy is gonna help me at the end of the day. {-; )
Posted by: Michael Bains | November 19, 2006 at 11:28 AM
Contestants who include the necessary ingredients for hot toddys (toddies?) will get extra points. This means brandy, tea bags, and honey. I'll supply my own lemon slice.
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 12:06 PM
I'm not sure it would hurt anyone's chances to maybe include one of these either.
I'm looking at you Pinko Punko Grincho! You've dug yourself such a hole -- thank The True Spirit of Christmas that you are married to such a fine lady who has saved that behind of yours from being banned -- BANNED! from the 2006 Festivus Festivities.
Posted by: blue girl | November 19, 2006 at 12:36 PM
BG, your link is broken.
Now does everyone see why I want to do the spreadsheet?
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 12:42 PM
Res slays me. He's like the Bugs Bunny of blogdom.
Posted by: The Uncanny Canadian | November 19, 2006 at 01:00 PM
All right. All right!
All fixed now.
If anyone cares (and those who don't -- your names will be recorded for future reference) I really like the Snowy Evergreen one.
Something about it just says...I want to be hanging on blue girl's tree this holiday season.
Posted by: blue girl | November 19, 2006 at 01:38 PM
Res & Midniter,
I just had a great idea. Let's resurrect everyone's Permanent Record!
No Hot Toddy ingredients included in your package? That goes on your permanent record!
No fun little gifts from Sax Fifth Avenue?
No little creative touches, like mistle toe or anything?
PERMANENT RECORD!
Posted by: blue girl | November 19, 2006 at 01:43 PM
People, don't let BG chump you into buying her a bunch of overpriced Festivus trinkets. This is a BAKE OFF, and Midniter and I will be judging your entries on their merits as baked goods.
And by "their merits as baked goods", I mean "how much cash you stuff in with the cookies".
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 01:52 PM
Also, I can't believe they'd charge over $300 for those.
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 01:55 PM
I know! What the heck difference does it make if it's a Sarabella whatever or not!
Little kids in Indonesia probably make them for 30 cents each on top of it.
Posted by: blue girl | November 19, 2006 at 01:58 PM
Well, that and....umm...they're not that cute. Go to the craft store and pick up a glue gun and some puffy paint. You can make your own.
Posted by: Res Publica | November 19, 2006 at 02:03 PM
I think why I liked them was because of those puffy, pretty bows.
I like old fashioned trees anyway. Popcorn strands, those big fat lights, homemade ornaments.
But, I always try to get too Martha with my tree and it ends up looking dumb. I've tried everything -- ask the Skimmer, he'll tell you -- everything when decorating the tree.
Always comes out goofy. I don't know why.
Posted by: blue girl | November 19, 2006 at 02:11 PM
Silly Blue Girl... I don't know why.
;)
Wanna take a test? It'll tell ya where you grew up from how you answer...
Posted by: Michael Bains | November 19, 2006 at 04:35 PM
Everyone! Go read MB's link right there. I got the same result as MB and will it will crack *certain* people up!
:)
Posted by: blue girl | November 19, 2006 at 05:05 PM
Fridge note to MB: AG is going to send extra cookies for you to Blue Girl, unless you provide an address. While you may not be judging, AG sends cookies to the peeps she has met on the Internets. (ssshhhhh, don't tell Chuckles that. He's been too naughty this year to get cookies.)
Posted by: Adorable Girlfriend | November 19, 2006 at 08:08 PM