Have I ever told you all how much I love Res Publica? I do. I love him to pieces. Since the first second I saw him over at Mannion's place long ago using some swear word in his comment, I knew he was some sort of soulmate. I yelled at him for using that nasty word in his comment and then he came right back at me and blamed Jeddie Ningo for it (because Jeddie had used the same word - shocker!) and then he...
*ran away sobbing.*
Then I left another comment...
Don't cry! Come back! Come back!
It's strange to me how connections are made on the Internets. And I don't mean the cable kind. I mean the heartfelt kind. The Oh, I *get* this person kind. And they these connections seem to happen almost instantly. It's a cool thing.
Res taught me how to IM a couple weeks back. Wasn't that hard and it was really fun. Especially when I mentioned something about Phil Collins and this was Res's response...
PHIL COLLINS!!!!!!! A-HA-A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!! A-HA-A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, shut up! How did you get your type so big like that? I want to do it!
Do this. Do that.
I don't have a this or that!
Well, you can't do it then, can you?
We've been talking on the phone a lot lately because of the Bake-off. And he's just as nice and funny on the phone as he is when he blogs or IMs. Well, he's not always nice when he blogs or IMs, but I love him even more for that.
We're both cacklers. Well, I'm a cackler, he's got a more smooth kind of laugh. But, he does it a lot when he's talking and I know I do that, too. And I cackle a lot because of him.
I just finished reading his take on Adorable Girlfriend and The Uncanny Canadian's Bake-off entries, but first he had to rip some poor Food Network woman to shreds...
Did anyone see the Christmas episode of the loathsome Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade on the Food Network last night? Does Sandra have a drinking problem? I think she might, because that show was insane in the membrane and basically all about booze. She made all those horrifying cocktails with white chocolate liqueur and frangelico and fucking butterscotch schnapps (can you IMAGINE anything more barftacular?); when she frosted the rim of that glass with coconut, I threw up a little in my mouth. Then she went off on that insane rant about her collection of nutcrackers, telling us each one’s name (that’s right, their names, like “this is Klaus, and he’s from Germany! He’s a school teacher!!”). The tree was the kicker, though. Did you see that madness? Her Christmas tree theme was “cocktails”! As in, she decorated it by hanging a bunch of glasses on it! Martini glasses, wine glasses, shot glasses, hurricane glasses, etc., etc. She decorated her Christmas tree with booze, people. It was the ugliest and most unambiguously mentally ill thing I’ve ever seen, and I know Midniter, so that’s really saying something.
Cackle!
Then onto AG and UC's cookies...
White Chocolate Sandwich Cookies
SCORE! These tasty little dreidels were especially popular with the First Boyfriend here at the Presidential Palace of the Republic of Dogs. We both enjoyed them immensely. The cookie has a good buttery taste and a texture that balances nicely between crisp and tender. But fuck the cookie! Who am I kidding? It’s the filling that we wanted to rub all over each other and then lick off. That shit was DA BIZZOMB, and we demand the recipe! We’re gonna get all Hugo Chavez and nationalize that recipe.
Cackle, cackle. Double, triple, quadruple cackle!
Spiced Pecans
What’s on these? I have decided that I love them. A lot. Midniter had mixed feelings, but he’s so routinely wrong that I don’t really pay attention any more. They have a subtle spicy smokiness that I really like. They could be a little crunchier, but I’m sure that wasn’t a problem when they were fresh. I could pop them in the oven to refresh them. If I wasn’t so busy stuffing them into my eat-hole. Have I mentioned how much I love nuts?
No, you've never actually come right out and said how much you love nuts, but I just kind of figured that was a no brainer. Cackling with tears!
Last weekend, he left comments on one of my posts that were priceless (I'm going to edit out the gross word he used though! For shame!) ...
Your underling? Someone's feeling bold. Or been drinking.
***
Can we please clean up the language people?Don't say gross words on my blog. Santa's watching.
Res. I'm sorry. But, that made me laugh too hard not to post it so it could be filed away for all eternity!
:)
p.s. I'm drinking Champagne.
***
Champagne, how charming. I'm drinking cognac on the rocks. And by "on the" I mean "from the bottle". And by "rocks" I mean "with pills".
Res is a gift. A true gift. I just couldn't imagine having a better underling. But! If he doesn't stop saying gross, nasty words on my blog, my last act of being Queen will be having him thrashed relentlessly.
Cackle!
Hey, wasn't the BG/Uma sleepover around this time last year???
And... as for Res, I assumed he like nuts so I was liberal with nuts. I totally forgot about fillings being used as aphrodisiac body gels and lubricants!!! DAMN! What the heck was I thinking? I sent prude cookies!!!
Posted by: Jennifer | December 22, 2006 at 11:37 AM
*sniff sniff*
I liked this post a lot. :)
Posted by: Claire | December 22, 2006 at 12:03 PM
I agree. I am indeed a true gift to everyone who knows me!
Just kidding...thanks for the kind words. This post made me blush.
What's with the language police, though? I try to refrain from using any seriously bad words on your blog, but you quoted a couple of f-bombs above. Please note that I would never post the f-word on your blog. You blog is a lady.
*snicker*
Posted by: Res Publica | December 22, 2006 at 12:15 PM
Eff that! What is this love festival?
First off, I am naming the frangelico, white choc, butterscotch cocktail "the Republic of Dogs As If" cocktail, because I know he;d swill that shit down with one side of his mouth while badmouthing it with the other!
Puh uh shaw uh.
Later haters!
Posted by: Pinko Punko | December 22, 2006 at 02:56 PM
LOL!!!
Posted by: Jennifer | December 22, 2006 at 02:58 PM
I doubt I could even swallow something that gnarly-tasting without puking.
Posted by: Res Publica | December 22, 2006 at 03:13 PM
Like you haven't...never mind. Maybe if I filled a giant eclair labeled "Chuckles" with it?
Posted by: Pinko Punko | December 22, 2006 at 04:17 PM
Like you haven't...never mind.
As soon as I submitted that comment, I realized the inevitability of responses like yours. Oh well.
Posted by: Res Publica | December 22, 2006 at 04:37 PM
Oh come on! I bet C's Double-U isn't disgusting. It's probably like tasting the fruit rainbow. I was thinking more eggs in aspic.
Posted by: Pinko Punko | December 22, 2006 at 05:12 PM
I think that your proposed cocktail would probably taste like eggs in aspic. Frangelico aspic.
Posted by: Res Publica | December 22, 2006 at 05:52 PM