Right after I wrote this post a few weeks ago, I drove to the store and bought a bouquet of flowers for no reason. I was going to buy tulips, but decided on a bunch of gerber daisies instead. I've always called them gerber, like the baby food, daisies. But, did you know their real name is gerbera daisies? I don't care if that's their real name or not. Sounds pretentious when I say it, so I'm not going to say it that way. I don't like words that make me feel pretentious when I say them. One of my favorite people in the world is Elie Wiesel. You pronounce his name E-lee Wee-sell. If he's ever brought up in conversation, I avoid saying his name. Makes me feel like I'm trying to be someone I'm not. I feel like it's disrespectful to mispronounce his name, so I just don't say it. And while I can speak Italian like nobody's business, my Transylvanian is a little rusty.
Conosca che cosa sono sayin?
Anyway, I figured, if I'm going to be stuck in this bedroom office as much as I am, I might as well have something pretty to look at throughout the day.
I thought gerber daisies would last awhile. Wrong. They only looked fresh for a few days and quickly began to wilt. Looked pretty before they began to wilt, though.
I let them sit on my desk for a few days even after they were all dead. That's my usual MO. Get a big idea in my head, like having fresh flowers on my desk all the time, attempt it, fail and forget about it. But, I'm committed to this big idea, so I went out and bought another bouquet of flowers to replace the gerber daisies.
This time I decided on a bunch of tulips. Pronounced Two-Lips. Baby pink and deeper pink. I then asked the flower lady if I should get some sort of greenery to put with them.
"Well, if anything, maybe a few ferns. But, I never put greenery with Two-Lips. I just put them in a vase by themselves. They make a better statement that way!"
"Well, I never realized a vase full of flowers could make a statement! Interesting!"
I never quite figured out what statement these Two-Lips were making. Maybe ... We Two-Lips are way prettier than this photo makes us out to be. Blue Girl is a horrible photographer.
Is there anything uglier than dead Two-Lips, I ask you? I don't think so. They look terrible when they start to go. For the last week, they've been dying a slow death. Petals dropping off one by one, scattered all over my desk. The Skimmer popped his head in my office yesterday morning...
"Are you ever going to throw those flowers away?"
"Yes. Eventually."
"They look like something out of The Munsters."
"I know Grand-pa-pa! I said, I will."
Later in the day, The Skimmer came back into my office to say he was going to the driving range.
"When you're done, will you go to the store and get me another bouquet of flowers? Since you'll be out?"
"Ehhhh." (Watch how Ted Bessell says, "Ehhhh" in that video. That's exactly how The Skimmer said it.)
"What do you mean, 'Ehhhh'? C'mon! What's the big deal?"
"What kind do you want?"
"I don't care. You pick 'em out. Something pretty, though. And make them pronounceable!"
An hour and a half later, The Skimmer came home.
"Thanks for getting the flowers."
"Listen to this. I picked them out and was walking to the checkout when Joe came up to me."
"Birthday?"
"No."
"Anniversary?"
"No."
"Fight?"
"No."
"Then....why?"
"I was requested to purchase them."
"Oh."
Then I said to The Skimmer, "Well, did you tell him he should buy a bouquet for Karen?"
"No!"
"Why not?!"
"I'm not going to say something like that!"
"Why?!"
"Guys don't talk to each other like that!"
"Oh my God. What are you guys? In Junior High? Do you know the points Joe would've scored for that? Do you know how happy that would've make Karen? You guys just don't get it."
"C'mon!"
"You don't. He would've been in like flynn for, I don't know, two days."
"Two days? Yeah. It would've been all rosey for maybe 20 minutes then he'd be in trouble for something again."
"You guys. I don't get you. That would've made Karen's day. Her week! Flowers for no reason are such a fun thing."
My new flowers are pretty.
But, when they're dead, all shriveled up in the vase, at some point I'll hop in the car to go buy another bouquet myself.
For obvious reasons.
I think that emu hiding in your two-lips may be killing them.
You're absolutely right about flowers for no reason. Easiest way to win brownie points. And a man can suggest another man buy his woman flowers, as long there is a reference to the flower purchase leading to in-like-Flynn-program-related-activities.
Posted by: Brando | April 26, 2007 at 10:28 AM
And a man can suggest another man buy his woman flowers, as long there is a reference to the flower purchase leading to in-like-Flynn-program-related-activities.
Well, you could think of it that way, I suppose. Keep hope alive, Brando!
Yes! It might be the Emu! But, it could also be the Melon Ghost to the left of the Emu, casting evil melon spells on my blooms.
:)
Posted by: blue girl | April 26, 2007 at 10:37 AM
You're to hard on The Skimmer.
If he had come home with flowers on his own it could start a "flowers arms race". Each time you would expect more.
First he brings home flowers. Then it's flowers and a box of Whippets. Then it's flowers, a box of Whippets, and a bottle of wine.
Where does it end?
Posted by: almost Canadian | April 26, 2007 at 10:38 AM
I don't know.
Diamonds and gold?
Posted by: blue girl | April 26, 2007 at 10:45 AM
Bringing home random flowers could have gotten Joe in more trouble! What if Karen thought he was overcompensating for something. She would have been suspicious. Skimmer might have just saved a marriage!!
Posted by: Claire | April 26, 2007 at 11:28 AM
on the other hand, the blue girl wall of fame looks like it's coming along pretty well... if that is the very same wall we were all promised pictures of, and not any old random wall from your mansion.
Posted by: almostinfamous | April 26, 2007 at 11:29 AM
Flowers? Pshaw!
More Motorcycles!
And Posts of the Rich and Famous! Tell us how you crush the little people, and then ride over them with your bike ! With No Helmut!
Better yet, crush someone for us! Yea. Live blog it!
Posted by: billy pilgrim | April 26, 2007 at 12:17 PM
If I had a happy blue acrylic desk like that, I could get along without the flowers.
Posted by: Larry Jones | April 26, 2007 at 12:40 PM
maybe "almostinfamous" is right...chrome is always nice.
jojo
;-)
Posted by: Jojo | April 26, 2007 at 02:27 PM
Grizzled has always gotten me flowers at random... has from the very get-go. I would prefer to think that he's just nice and wasn't planning for the day when he might need to bring home random flowers. :)
I spotted that emu as well. Emus as so gassy! I'm guessing being downwind of that emu is NOT helping the fleurs.
Posted by: Jennifer | April 26, 2007 at 02:32 PM
Blue Girl: Bossy must tell you that her heart was skipping in feverish delight as she read your post and viewed your photos and thought for almost one full minute that you had gotten rid of your desk lamp!
But no, there it is in the final photo.
Nice flowers, though.
Posted by: BOSSY | April 26, 2007 at 02:51 PM
Hi everyone!
BOSSY, But don't you think the "I Voted" sticker on the shade helps at all? Or how 'bout the golden glow that is casting upward by the Emu?
No?
Doesn't do anything for ya?
Larry, I painted my desk blue a few weeks ago. I also did a podcast while I was painting it! But, I couldn't figure out how to convert it to an mp3 to post it. Too bad, too. It was quite exciting!
I was going to paint my desk (which is an old wooden door) red. But, then I figured blue girl shouldn't have a red door.
Posted by: blue girl | April 26, 2007 at 03:09 PM
Blue Girl, Tulips are always beautiful. Next time they droop out of the vase in all different directions, cut the stems much shorter. Give them completely new, fresh water and fresh cut the stems on the slant everyday. But even if they're bugging out all over, one antenna this way, another that, pay attention to them. Absorb what they're all about even if they don't open up. Sometimes florists freeze them and they don't open. But it's not their fault.
Your third bouquet is extremely pretty. And I like those big-faced daisies, too. Manny thinks they're too expensive, which probably really means he doesn't like them, because he'll spend movie and a dinner money on a couple of sickly birds of paradise.
To each his/her own: Maybe you really aren't a tulip girl. Forsythia and I don't get along at all, if we're both inside. I like them fine outside, as long as they're wild and not sculpted into a yellowy hedge. But in the same room with me? Ick. I've even asked the woman who cuts my hair to please move them aside for a while.
Last year, lilacs, which permeated the sweetest, most romantic childhood phases of my entire life, seriously freaked me out. Our apartment is small and the smell of one small bunch was overpowering. They made me weep for two days, all day, until I figured out that they were the reason. The fragrance was just too frightening transporting, too heady and nostalgic for me to take.
Posted by: grasshopper | April 26, 2007 at 05:00 PM
I love tulips, even when they're drooping. They're so lovely.
Posted by: Res Publica | April 26, 2007 at 05:11 PM
Hi grasshopper, I have to say that I really enjoyed the tulips. The all opened fully -- and they're so sheer and delicate when they open. I took a lot of photos of them open, but I'm such a bad photographer, the photos don't look nearly as pretty as the real flowers did. The baby pink ones were so delicate -- and the larger, deeper pink ones were just awesome. And I kind of got a kick out of them going all haywire. They were just flopping every which way. I love them.
Hi Res....I type from my Chinese Hacker cell....
How are you?
Posted by: blue girl | April 26, 2007 at 05:50 PM
Grasshopper's wisdom is True and So. When in love or just "not unhappy" I've often performed random acts of flower-giving but've found that such is received differently, or indifferently, by different women.
Doesn't matter though. This post reminds me that one of the things I miss lots 'bout having a lady is having a manly excuse to buy flowers. {sigh} {-;
You're not such a bad Photo-Graph-Er, BG. :-) But I know the feelin' Visa-Vee my own skills in that regard.
Gonna send ya something from my sister, Blue. It reminded me muchly of your "numb to tragedy" post. Sending her a link to that as well.
Posted by: Michael Bains | April 26, 2007 at 08:02 PM
Perhaps the dying flowers could be given as get-well presents to the little people that Blue Girl will crush while returning to her mansion on her motorcycle?
Posted by: Snag | April 27, 2007 at 12:29 AM
Blue Girl, AG has a few thoughts on this one:
1. AG hearts BG. I never tell you that enough!
2. Is that an Emu on the wall?
3. WTF with the Skimmer? It's not like you asked the guy to buy tampons.
4. He owes you flowers given 'teh Bossy incident'.
5. He better keep 'em coming or the next thing he'll see in a vase is his balls on a stick.
Let him know that AG said that.
Posted by: Adorable Girlfriend | April 27, 2007 at 11:23 AM