"Mom, will you take me, D and K over to G's in, like, five minutes?"
"Yeah."
A few minutes later, I shut the computer down and slipped on my shoes and went outside. The boys were already in the car. As I got in, D said, "Mrs. Blue Girl, I love your new car!"
"It's great, isn't it? Mr. Skimmer picked it up last night. I haven't even really driven it yet."
As we were turning on to the main road Blue Kid's cell phone rang, "Yeah, we'll pick you up. Can we mom? Yeah, we'll be there in a minute." And he clicked his cell phone shut.
"Ok, boys. Let's see what this baby can do." I punched the gas. Hit 50 in about a half a second.
"Whoa!"
"Cool!"
"Go faster, Mom!"
"No. Speed limit's 50."
"Yeah, speed kills, Blue Kid!" D said sarcastically, and whapped Blue Kid in the back of the head.
"It would have been faster, but you lugs are slowing me down with all your weight."
"Ok. Now, let's see what this car is really made of!" And I flipped through the radio stations to find the best song. "We've got to check out the speakers! Yesssss. Perfect!" And I cranked it up.
We pulled in P's driveway and he hopped in the backseat. I was keeping the beat, tapping my thumbs on the steering wheel and all three boys were singing and bopping in the backseat. Blue Kid wasn't singing or bopping. Or even tapping. Just staring at me in horrible disbelief, like I was the most embarrassing thing to have ever hit the planet earth. I didn't care. It was warm, the sun was shining and the rest of us were having fun.
We pulled into G's driveway. The boys thanked me for the ride and got out of the car. Blue Kid didn't thank me, he just sort of grunted when I said "Bye!"
I sat there for a minute as they meandered up to G's door and G came lumbering outside. I watched them, faces all broken out and hair hanging down in their eyes, as they punched each other and swung each other around by the backs of their shirts, goofing off and having fun. I had lost my mind momentarily and was really getting a kick out of watching my son and his friends having a good time together until I heard Blue Kid yell, "Mom! Go!"
I searched for the button to roll the passenger side window down. Where's the stupid button? I'm gonna get him! Found it and rolled the window down.
"I loooooooove you, Blue Kid! Looooooove you! Have a great time with your friends and be careful!"
"Mom!"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" All his friends were laughing as D whapped Blue Kid in the head.
I blew him a kiss, cranked the stereo and hit the gas. And left those boys in the dust.
I love that song and it's in the right key for me. :)
Posted by: Jennifer | April 20, 2007 at 06:50 PM
You are taking after the Snag-man this week.
Aren't you going to post a picture of the new car in the driveway of the mansion?
Posted by: Adorable Girlfriend | April 20, 2007 at 07:50 PM
Totally fantastic. I saw it all and was singing along. Have a great weekend.
Posted by: Claire | April 20, 2007 at 08:26 PM
Too funny! I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old (both girls), and I'm dreaming of the day when I can do the exact same thing to them. Great song too!!
Posted by: chickymama | April 20, 2007 at 10:13 PM
That sounds good. Tell him the more he winces, the more you'll love him!
Posted by: Scorpio | April 21, 2007 at 01:20 AM
Nicely done! I'm a big fan of singing and dancing in public when my kids are around.
The other thing you want to do is tell them that you'll be performing in the Parent Talent Show at their school. Even if they know there isn't any such thing, the idea will still will agitate them in a highly entertaining way.
Posted by: Snag | April 21, 2007 at 12:10 PM
I'm in 120-Ways-to-Embarrass-Your-Kids training. This is most excellent. Thanks.
Posted by: orangeblossoms | April 21, 2007 at 02:14 PM
You know what embarrassed my kids the most? When their mom sang along with Prince. I did a real good job along with Mavis Staples on "Melody Cool." But, "If I Was Your Girlfriend?" was a little too much. When I came to a red light, I lost one of the riders. Their friends stayed strapped in, but my own was running down the street.
Now my daughter dj's with rap mixes called, "Down with Prince."
Posted by: grasshopper | April 21, 2007 at 03:59 PM
I tell my students that one day their kids will ask them, "You didn't listen to that dumb old hip hop when you were young, did you. That stuff's so lame." They, of course, swear that their music is eternal.
It's one of the things that make me enjoy the prospect of old age.
Posted by: Lynn Green | April 21, 2007 at 11:11 PM
Darn kids better stay off my lawn or I'm calling the cops.
Posted by: Snag | April 22, 2007 at 01:12 AM
Alec Baldwin's in my comment thread! (aka Snag)
:)
I lost one of the riders. Their friends stayed strapped in, but my own was running down the street.
:)
Thanks, everyone, for stopping by! And let's keep driving those kids crazy. They ain't got nothin' on us.
Posted by: blue girl | April 22, 2007 at 09:09 AM
I feel for Blue Kid. It's murder on a boy being the son of "the hot mom".
Yeah, my mom was hot.
At some point every boy with a hot mom realizes that their friends act differently around their mom then they act around any other kids mom. Heaven help any kid who dares utter the phrase "your mom's kinda hot." Go easy on BK if he ever beats the crap out of his best friend and doesn't want to tell you why.
Posted by: DASC | April 22, 2007 at 09:39 PM
My children are still at the age that everything I do is incredibly funny and treat me as though I am a recording device they can rewind and re-play as they see fit.
*Nicho does perfect interpretation of Grimm from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy*
Kids bust into laughter. "Do that again!" they say through their giggles.
*Nicho does it again, steadily realizing the trap he's fallen into*
Kids laugh even harder, realizing very well the trap that dad has fallen into.
...
I can't tell if I'm looking forward to the days that I can embarrass them, or if I will miss these.
Posted by: Nicho | April 23, 2007 at 09:52 AM
So, I take it that Driver had the day off? ;)
Posted by: kStyle | April 23, 2007 at 06:52 PM
Yes, KStyle, I gave Driver the day off. Aren't I sweet? I needed to get back in touch with the common man.
:)
Posted by: blue girl | April 23, 2007 at 07:02 PM