So, I'm It.

So, (Jeddie hates people who start sentences with "So" -- So ... what.  I'm doing it anyway.)  Jeddie emailed me a couple of days ago and wrote this message:

You've been tagged.  Deal with it.

Now, what kind of attitude is that?  Does he not realize I don't have to do anything anyone tells me to do?  Pshaw to that!  I'm not here to be dealing with stuff just cuz someone tells me to.  Whacking himself in the head every two seconds must've e(a)ffected his thinking.

Whack.

So, anyway.  I clicked over to his site.  He tagged me and Bobby Lightfoot with a meme.  I have to say, this might be one of the weirdest memes I've seen on the Internets and I'm not answering all the questions.  So, deal with that!  Some of them are disgusting!

So, anyway.  Here we go.

1. So, What's in your pocket?

I don't know.  But, I've always really like this song.

And what it all comes down to my friends Is that everything's just fine fine fine I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

2. So, is the pork ready?

What is *with* the Internetz and pork, anyway?  Pork this, pork that.  (Shut up, Jeddie.)  Can we not discuss some other form of meat every now and then?  Like filet mignon or lamb chops or something.  Aw, lamb chops.  That's sad when you think about it.

4. So, do you like onions?

I don't know.  But I was at this party last weekend and you know what someone brought?  A gigantic bowl -- and I mean gigantic bowl -- of chopped up onions.  That's it.  That's all they brought.  And they just plopped it down on the table like that made any sort of sense at all.

5. So, how big is it?

I don't know.  But you know what I hate?  How guys I work with are so into telling me how big their files are.  Like it's some earth shattering news how big some files can get.  "Did you know this file is 300 mgs, blue girl?"  "My God, blue girl, my file is huge!  It's almost 19 million bagillion mgs." 

I don't care how big your file is, big guy!  Deal with it!  Just stuff it, for cryin' out loud.

6. So, Budweiser or real beer?

I don't know.  But, I don't care how much all you guys hate advertising, I really, really, really wish I would've worked on this spot.

7. So, what do you feel about your nose?

I don't know.  But you know what I think about a lot?  Kathleen Turner's nose.  Have you ever noticed that her nose has gotten a lot bigger over the years?  That must be weird for her.

8. So, Children: Baked or broiled?

I don't think children should get baked.  In fact, I'm doing everything I can think of for Blue Kid not to experience getting baked.

9. So, do you like it when I do this?

Depends on what you're doing.  If you're sittin' there thinking about telling me about how big your file is, then forget it.  If you're sittin' there thinking about tagging me with another meme, you can forget that, too.

10. So, do you like the sound of chickens?

No.  I wish the right wing war bloggers would just shut up already.

11. So, would Beyonce clip her own toenails?

I don't know.  I don't want to think about Beyonce's gross, disgusting toenails.

12. So, do you like pork?

See?  Pork again.  I'm going to make up my own questions:

12a.  So, do you like meatballs?

Why yes.  Yes, I do.

12b. So, do you like lamb chops? 

Aw, no.  That's just sad.

13. So, if the butter is soft, does the bus arrive on time?

I don't know.  What does this mean?  Sounds like something Steve Kuusisto would say.

14. So, when do you get up?

When I'm done.  When I feel like it.  When I have to.  When the phone rings.  When the doorbell rings.  When I have to take the pork out of the oven.  When The Skimmer wants me to look at his huge file.  God!  There's a million answers to this question. 

In the future, please be more specific.  What am I supposed to do?  Just sit here answering this question all day long?  Time is money, people.

15. How did you survive childhood?

So, Jeddie.  You know the answer to this one.  Deal with it.

16. What do you do before bed?

I say my prayers.

Dear God,

Please let Bush and Cheney get impeached and please don't let anyone tag me with a meme again.

Amen.

17. So, what are your hidden charges?

They're people.  God.  Just cuz I keep 'em locked in a closet doesn't mean they're still not people.

18. So, who's behind you?

I'm #1.  Numero Uno.  Leader of the pack.  Everyone's behind me.

19. So, why don't people go to the bathroom on TV?

They do.  Spare a Square ringing any bells?

20. So, what's a soylent green popsicle?

I don't know.

21. What does it taste like?

Well, if I don't even know what one is, how in the heck am I supposed to know what one tastes like.  This meme is dumb.

22. So, why doesn't Consumer Reports rate hookers?

They do.  Says so right in their mission statement.

More than 100 testing experts work in eight major technical departments--appliances, auto test, baby & child, hookers, electronics, foods, health & family, and recreation & home improvement, while more than 25 research experts work in four departments--product acquisition, product information, and statistics & quality management and hookers.

23. So, does George Bush replace the toilet paper tube?

Would The Commander Guy even know how?  Would he have to use The Google to find out? If he did, he'd probably put it on going the wrong way.  Dork.

And now!  My favorite question in this whole entire meme!

24.  So, blue girl.  Who are you going to tag with this ridiculous meme?

Brando and BOSSY.

So, Jeddie.  Good enough for ya?  Try not to whack yourself in the head today.

Comments

[Kevin Wolf]

BG, we're both done with our memes! Time for a cocktail!

[Brando]

I am one of those people that likes being tagged. Probably because I love giving my opinions, especially about pork.

Good stuff, BG, and #14 in particular was really funny.

[Jennifer]

"Have you ever noticed that her nose has gotten a lot bigger over the years?"

Noses don't stop growing, BG. It's a fact.

[Jennifer]

I just noticed, you skipped #3, which really should have been #2... I'm just sayin'.

[Neddie Jingo]

So hey! So your Comment dealie finally loaded after an hour's wait!

So... I love your responses. So... I'd have dished myself up a big plateful of chopped onions and walked around the party looking like I was enjoying them immensely.

So... however, I think Bobby's got us both beat.

(P.S.: I don't hate everybody who starts sentences with "so"; sometimes it's exactly correct. I just dislike it when it's used as a throat-clearing device. That's just sad.)

[blue girl]

Cheers, KW!

Brando, I like memes. I was just joshin'.

Jennifer, that noses continue to grow throughout one's lifetime is a fact of life I am very uncomfortable with. I don't want to end up like Karl Malden!

Jeddie, Wonder why it takes you so long to comment? I *should* have carried about a heaping mound of onions on my plate. But, I was too busy saving children from burning to death.

Admit it! You hate all people who use "so." You also hate when people use that when they should use which. Admit it!

:)

I'll go check out Bobby's meme-o.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

Yeah, AG read KW's meme. Thank you for not tagging AG!!

[Snag]

So, why do you hate pork?

[BOSSY]

Bossy wants to give her meme as a christmas present to The Lovely Becky. Doesn't Blue Girl think a His & Her meme would be so interesting? Please?

[blue girl]

You cannot re-gift!

Do not try!

:)

[grasshopper]

Noses grow, but within limits, right? They don't grow bigger than a boat or even a, oh, what? A stiletto. Of course, that one fairy tales claims they grow really long if you're a liar. But the same story claims that being lazy will give you donkey ears. My calendar has an old photo of a '40s glamour girl, maybe 50s. She's stretching her arms behind her head and saying, "You say 'Laziness' like its a *bad* thing!"

[mistah charley, ph.d.]

Not just noses, but ears, continue to grow through life. The following drawing relies on this fact for part of its effect.

See

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/YoungGirl-OldWomanIllusion.html

[blue girl]

Hi mistah charley,

The ears don't freak me out as much as the nose.

Not that I want to end up looking like Dumbo, but I bet I could hide that better.

:)