You Name It. People Say It a Million Different Ways.

I had a very simple, easily pronounceable maiden name.  I'm not going to tell you what it was, but it was as simple and as easy to pronounce as...

Off or

On or

This or

That or

Blue or

Girl.

Even Or.

Even Even for that matter.

It was that easy.

People still managed to mangle it.  It was as though their brains would not accept how easy it was to pronounce.  They would get clever and creative and would say Bloo-ay, instead of Blue.  I never understood why.

I was happy to take The Skimmer's last name.  It has more letters.  It is a more interesting combination of consonants and vowels.  I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it is as interesting as...

Nirifki or

Sonefka or

Traminskala or

Zippideedoodah

Hardly anyone can pronounce it on the first try.  They become overwhelmed by letters and their brains shut down.

When I buy something, and if the store's policy dictates that the cashier has to thank me, addressing me by name, I always feel a little bad for them.

"Thank you, Mrs. ... Zippydah?  Zippdeedoo?  Zip...Zip?..."

"Zippideedoodah!  Don't worry.  No one can say it."

My married name has an "F" in it.  Since it's hard to pronounce, it's impossible for people to know how to spell it.  I've said "F as in Frank" every single day of my married life.  If I don't, they will spell it with an "S", not an "F."  And even when they know it's an "F", they insist on pronouncing the "F" like a "V."  Which is too bad.  The lightness of the "F" sound toward the end of my last name is like a springboard for the hard "K" that follows that releases the final vowel.  It dances off the tongue.  Replacing the "F" with a "V" drags it down.  The pronunciation becomes harsher, not as pretty.

And then there are other people who insist on changing the short "e" sound in the middle to a short "i" sound.  A short "i" sound followed by the downtrodden "V" makes the name sound hopeless, stunted.  The Skimmer's great, great, great Grandfather Zippideedoohah, who came here from Checkoslovakia so many moons ago, would be heartbroken to hear how lifeless his name sometimes sounds.

I learned this morning that I've been saying Steve and Connie Kuusisto's last name incorrectly.  I've been saying it...

Koo•ZI•stow

But, it's really pronounced...

KOO•zi•stow

Much prettier and way more interesting than the way I've been pronouncing it.

Listen for yourself.

But, since I heard it this morning, I can't stop pronouncing it...

Koo•Woo•WOO•zi•stow

Pronouncing it this way sounds fun.  Like the way your hips move when you're keeping a hula hoop swiveling around your waste.

Why did I start to do that?  I have no idea.  And it probably wouldn't matter if Connie and Steve's last name was as simple and as easy to pronounce as "Kuu."

I'd probably decide to get all clever and creative and pronounce it Koo•Woo•WOO.  Which is still way more exotic and interesting than my maiden name could ever have hoped to be.  Mine didn't even have the two "U's" going for it.

***

Click here to listen to Steve Koowoowoosisto being interviewed on his recent trip to Chautauqua, NY, where he was a guest speaker at The Chautauqua Institute. You'll not only learn how to pronounce his name and Lake Winnipesaukee, you'll learn a lot about all you can learn by listening more intentionally.

Comments

[Connie]

I LOVE this! Why, BG, you are just so clev*air - I can't wait for Steve to see this!

[Almost Canadian]

I remember meeting a girl who was going to marry a Mr. Smith. She had a great last name. Full of character and history. When I asked her if she was sad she was going to be a Mrs. Smith insted of her really, really cool name she said "What can I say, I fell in love with a Smith, we all make sacrifices for the one's we love." True, but I saw sadness in her eyes when she said it.

[blue girl]

Hi Connie, thank you! For your comment and your post/link that inspired it -- I really enjoyed the podcast. Glad you liked the post. Hope Steve does, too.

AC, She should've hyphenated her name. I would have done that, but it would've sounded like a command or some sort of SWAT team's code name.

I had a friend whose last name was Smith and she married a Jones. I *definitely* think she should've hyphenated that one.

[Snag]

I've got an "S as in Sam" in my name, something that my Lovely Bride quickly learned after taking my name and hearing it mangled by everyone she met. We're both at the point where we treat any vaguely correct pronunciation as good enough.

[Adorable Girlfriend]

Ahh yes...the do I take his last name or not dilemma.

For AG, the real last name is too simple to possibly not keep. However, the first name is too unique to not consider wanting to hide-out under a new pen name.

In the end it will probably be this:

Professionaly: my own last name
Public: my own last name
Family things: hypenated
Children: hypenated despite what a certain stubborn Dr. says.
Y'all: AG.

:)

How was the reading this weekend? I thought of you as we walked from the upper East to the upper west thru the park.

[Steve]

Dear BG,

You will find this info of some interest I think. My name in Finnish means “grove of spruce trees” because the root of the name(“Kuusi) means spruce tree, and the suffix (“sto”) means lots of them.

Well, anyway, I once met a family of Finns in Minnesota who proudly revealed to me that they had the same last name but in the service of American efficiency they’d removed one of the “u’s” from the front. This really doesn’t make the name any easier for locals, and what’s worse, they had transformed the name from meaning in Finnish “grove of spruces” to signifying “pool of piss”. I didn’t tell them this. “Kusi” is Finnish for "wee-wee" and if I had told them, well, they’d have had to go thru all that trouble of changing their passports, etc.

[Connie]

I was married once before I met Steve (Kuusisto).

My 1st married last name? Connell. Yes, I was for a while Connie Connell and I hated it.

I once had someone e-mail me out of the blue. I have no idea if this was true or if she was just pulling my leg: she said her name was Connie also and wouldn't you know it, she was engaged to a "Connell". She wanted to know if life was too tough being known as Connie Connell or if she ought to consider keeping her maiden name.

Personally, I think I'd even settle for Connie "Kusisto", despite the meaning!

[Connie]

I'm sorry BG. I did NOT mean to post that twice!

[blue girl]

AG, your plan may be a little confusing! I think Adorable Girlfriend-Canadian sounds really good.

Are you planning on having an Uncanny Girlfriend-Candian, II?

Hi Steve, very interesting! I like those two "UU's" in your name. The Skimmer's long ago relative also changed their name in an effort to Americanize it. But! He only took an "H" out of the middle. And that "H" would've made the name *a lot* easier to pronounce when looking at it.

When I heard "Winnipesaukee" pronounced, I thought -- well, it sounds just like it's spelled. But, I had been overwhelmed by letters and couldn't say it before I heard it. My last name is pronounced just like it's spelled, but still jumbles the mind.

[blue girl]

Connie, Did people tend to say both your first and last names together like one name? ConnieConnell? That would've been my first thought.

[Jennifer]

Egads- I was pronouncing it the wrong way as well! Same as you, BG.

As for your married name- Grizzled put the f in, he just put it in the wrong spot and added a few consonants.

[blue girl]

I bet I know exactly how Grizzled said it, Jennifer. It's the way I can immediately spot a telemarketer!

[Jennifer]

No wonder you hung up on him when he called! :)

[BOSSY]

Christ Almighty this was funny. Bossy traded-in a very ethnic maiden name that meant Red Mountain, in exchange for, basically, a verb.

[blue girl]

Thanks, Bossy. At first I thought you were going to say Christ Almighty is the type of name one should *never* trade in.

And you'd probably never hyphenate that one either.

Christ Almighty-Hancock

Christ Almighty-Doe

Christ Almighty-Johnson

See? Doesn't "flow" well...

:)

[Jennifer]

Hmmm... I kept my name, which is a noun. My husband's name is also a noun. When I think of our two names together, I think of the Chicago Art Institute at Christmastime.

[Jennifer]

...or, the NY Public Library during the holidays.

[Brando]

BG, thank you for ensuring I will never mentally pronounce blu-e correctly again!

[grasshopper]

When Manny and I married, I was so eager to take his name: a clean slate! That young woman who'd done all those painfully embarrassing things? She wasn't me. I'm long overdue to clean the slate again. But would a third identity make me stop acting stupid? And if I did stop would it be sweet or sad?

[Adorable Girlfriend]

No, I will have to become the Uncanny Adorable Wife or something.

Maybe I will liberate to Adorable Woman and Boss of Y'all or something...

The hyphen in real life, if it were UC would be:

Four letters-Five letters.

Both non Jewish sounding last names that are easy to pronounce.

I hate to admit it -- I want to marry a Goldberg, Weinstein or Kaufmann.

Is that a bad thing?