I immediately imagined a houseful of teenagers. I imagined that I'd be able to scope out all his friends and acquaintances. All of them all dressed up. A fancy party, of course! Me running around for days beforehand, making the house look really pretty. Making a ton of food for them. Cups full of ice and pop all around! And setting up the stereo and getting CDs ready for just the right atmosphere.
"Yeah, sure! Who are you going to invite?"
"It'll just be me, Dan, Griffin, Matt and Patrick."
Sigh.
Not that I don't love them.
These four boys practically live at my house all the time. They've been here almost every day and every night over Christmas break, in their pajamas, playing video games in Blue Kid's room.
No need to worry about getting Blue Kid a new outfit. Or making the house look pretty. Or setting up the stereo.
And most disappointingly, no scoping.
But they still need to eat.
"Honey? I'm going to the grocery store. What do you want to eat at your party?"
Blue Kid furrowed his brow, thought for a minute and then said rather seriously, "Um, Focus Vitamin Water and, um, pizza rolls. We haven't had pizza rolls in forever."
Of course, I had imagined making them something sort of special. But, I laughed and drove to the store. Where I not only bought Focus Vitamin Water and two huge bags of pizza rolls. I also bought mozzarella sticks and Bagel Bites! And a package of Oreos.
Happy New Year, everyone! May you all have teenagers who would rather stay at home on New Year's Eve and eat pizza rolls with their buddies than be out running the roads.
And if not, I hope at least you're able to get a little scoping in.
Blue Kid got up this morning and stumbled into the living room and fell on the couch. His eyes were droopy and his hair was sticking up every which way. He was resting his head on his hand when a story about Blagojevich came on the news.
Blue Kid said, "I don't get what the big deal is. All he did was sell a chair on Ebay."
"What?"
"He just sold a chair on Ebay and everyone got all crazy about it."
It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about.
I laughed, "He didn't sell a chair on Ebay! He was trying to sell Obama's Senate seat!"
"Oh." Then he covered himself up with a blanket, turned over on his side and went back to sleep.
I received a supportive email from a friend last week that read:
...keep your eyes peeled for the gifts: A golden slant of sunlight on the snow; holiday lights twinkling red and green on wet streets; cardinals, chickadees and sparrows on the feeders and in the trees.
Your heartlight is glowing.
It's been awhile since I've had my eyes peeled for gifts. I've been too sad, tired and stressed for peeling my eyes, but when I read Blue Wren's pretty words, it was a reminder that there are gifts everywhere, if I would only look.
Like in my yahoo email inbox the last week or two.
Getting emails from Jeddie Ningo, updating me on the progress of his work on our holiday songs the last three years has been a true gift. Every one of them makes me smile. If he's not calling me a vocal Godzilla, he's writing to say that his computer went tits-up, and another time, it went boobies-up and then finally, one night he was so happy with his mixing that he emailed me to say... it's jugs, knockers, hooties, tomatoes. Yeah, it's melons. (Musician talk. Means "I approve wholeheartedly.")
I've had a blast doing our last two songs, but this year I had even more fun. There's nothing stressful or sad about working with Jeddie Ningo on this music. Or working with The Skimmer on the artwork. And when I say "working" with them, I really mean thanking them and being grateful for how great they both really are.
They are gifts, making my heartlight glow. As are all of you.
So, I give thanks for them, thanks for all of you and Thanks for Christmas!
Happy Holidays, everyone! And like Jeddie's last email to me said....Its Soup!!!11!!eleven!!
The Skimmer has given me many beautiful and thoughtful gifts over the years. Pretty clothes, books, concert tickets, gels, creams, lotions. Fireplace mantles.
When we moved into this house ten years ago, I was disappointed that there were no interesting architectural details. So, our first Christmas here, he went to an antique store and bought an old, gorgeous, ornate fireplace mantle. Stripped it, refinished it and installed it in our bedroom. It's beautiful. And functional! Not for fires, but for books. He built a bookcase within it because I had also been missing the built-in bookshelves that were in almost every room of the century home we had just moved out of.
The Skimmer is an artist. And he's painted my portrait multiple times. Simple black and white line drawings and pretty pastels. Once, he worked on a large oil painting for weeks and I wasn't allowed to see it until it was almost done.
"Well, that's interesting!"
"What?"
"Are you serious?"
"What?!"
"Whattya mean, what? Is that me or Dolly Parton? And what's with that outfit?!"
"What?! I like it!"
"I bet you do!"
"And it's not Dolly Parton! I used this shot of Tyra Banks as reference."
"You've lost your mind. Cover me up! I can't get that framed!"
The year before we were married, I took a weekend trip with my mom and sister. At the time, I was living in a very tiny apartment. I had complained to The Skimmer that I couldn't wait to move into a bigger place, because of the kitchen. There was no counter space whatsoever.
When I got back from my trip, The Skimmer had built a table that fit perfectly between the refrigerator and stove. Giving me space to, you know, open cans of green beans and frozen food packages.
When my mom saw what he had done, she hugged me, "He's a keeper!"
The Table that Love Built was definitely a sign that indeed he was.
But, none of this, not any of it, has stopped me from calling him Dual Bag for the last two weeks!
On my last birthday, he didn't get me a vacuum cleaner. He didn't get me extra memory for my computer. Or even an Absersizer.
He didn't get me anything at all!
Last May was tough times here at the Blue Manse. Big changes were occurring and my birthday got lost in the shuffle. Which was not only okay, in fact, I was and still am totally grateful for it.
"Honey? Honey? It's time to wake up!"
"Why should I? You didn't get me anything for my birthday."
"Honey? The game'll be starting soon. Do you want me to order the pizza with sausage or pepperoni?"
"What difference does it make since you never got me anything for my birthday."
"Oooh, I forgot. Your mom called earlier."
"Why am I not surprised you forgot. You know, because of my birthday and everything."
Last night we were in Macy's shopping for my mother-in-law's gift. I thought a piece of jewelry would be nice. Maybe something with her birthstone. She and I share the same birthday month.
I asked the saleswoman to take a very simple and elegant emerald necklace out of the display case.
"Oooh, this is pretty. Don't you think, Skimmer? And meaningful, too.
"Why?"
"Because it's her birthstone! May is emerald!"
"How do you know?"
"Seriously, Dual Bag?! It is totally the doghouse for you! Nothing but quiche and lattes. Ow-ow-ow-oooo! Ow-ow-ow-oooo!
I am grateful because it gives me something to torture him about for the rest of his life. No gold, diamonds -- or even emeralds -- could ever beat that.
Blue Kid walked through the back door smiling, carrying a huge box.
"What's that?"
"UPS must've brought it. It's from Jenny! I'm not little anymore. Can I open it?"
"What wrong with your nose?"
"Eh. I accidentally hit Emily's forehead with my nose and I think I broke it."
"What?! Let me see!"
"Look, it's swollen and bruised and when I did it, it bled like crazy." He cupped his hands and held them up to show me. "The blood filled my hands! Can I open the present? I'm not little anymore!"
"Let me see your nose and no, you can't open the present."
"But, I'm not little anymore!"
"Your reasoning is flawed! I used to let you open Jenny's presents early so they wouldn't get mixed up with all the regular presents -- so you would know what she sent you."
"Mom! Look at my nose! I had the worst day ever! I need to open a present."
"Good one. No, no and again...no. If you're not little anymore, you can wait 'til Christmas morning!"
"Mom! I've had the worst day of my life!"
"No!"
"C'mon, Mom!"
Laughing, I said, "All right. Let's call Jenny and see what her opinion of this situation is!"
"Call her. She'll be on my side!"
"Don't count on it, Buster! She knows your type!"
Jenny answered the phone and I explained the situation, then handed the phone to Blue Kid.
Blue Kid said in his most low and pitiful voice, "I've had the worst day of my life. I headbutted my girlfriend and broke my nose. Yeah, yeah. It was an accident. And now all I need is to open this present and my mom won't let me."
They talked for a few minutes about BK's worst day ever and then hung up.
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