Read why Steve Kuusisto thinks he needs to practice hate in his post, A Short Essay on Enmity.
Comments
Since the piece is referenced here, forgive me for repeating here what I said on that blog:
I disagree with the idea that experiencing the emotion of hate, or any other emotion -- be it love, passion, worry, empathy, or even indifference-- necessarily means that one doesn't think. That would mean that we would have to eliminate all emotions from our lives. This just isn't human. Why? because it is HUMAN to feel emotions. Does the author believe that Steve Jobs and Mike Wozniak, who actually designed and built computers, never feel emotions? Or that Beethoven and Wagner, composers of some of the most beautiful (and emotional??) music in the world never felt emotions? That's ridiculous.
Neither do I agree with what some would argue, that some emotions are "better" or "healthier" than others. That hate is less healthy than love. Again this argument is without merit. They are simply two sides of the same coin, two facets of human experience. Would it be "wrong" or "unhealthy" to love a romantic partner who has earned your love? No, no more than it would be wrong or unhealthy to hate someone who just beat and robbed you, or murdered your husband, or raped your wife. Just because you feel hate or love does not mean that you should therefore ACT illegally or stupidly (either by loving someone who does not deserve your love, or by physically attacking someone you hate). That is a different issue.
I think it's high time we moved away from the quasi-religious embargo on "hate" that exists in some circles. I'm a thinking atheist man, and I hate, just as much as I love. To deny this would be dishonest.
I hate, just as much as I love. To deny this would be dishonest.
If I hated as much as I love, I would be intolerable. To myself and to those around me. It only takes a tiny amount of hate to consume me. And it's destructive. I can't do the the things I need and want to do if I'm consumed by hatred.
Although it is *human,* it's a lot easier to hate or to be indifferent. Takes a lot of work -- a lot of thinking -- and then a lot of conscious action -- not to hate. Not to be indifferent -- which means you are living unconsciously -- takes a lot of thinking and a lot of work, too.
I hope Steve addresses your comment. It's always interesting to read what he has to say.
WTF? I was going to make that comments, blue girl! Fine, it IS your damn blog...
I personally find hate to be, ultimately, corrosive and non-productive. As such, it gets in the way of me doing things I know would improve my situation, or just doesn't allow me to exist in the manner (? not the right word, but I'm rushed right now) that I prefer to "be."
WTF? I was going to make that comments, blue girl! Fine, it IS your damn blog...
I personally find hate to be, ultimately, corrosive and non-productive. As such, it gets in the way of me doing things I know would improve my situation, or just doesn't allow me to exist in the manner (? not the right word, but I'm rushed right now) that I prefer to "be."
blue girl,
I'm not sure I understand your point. But I'm identifying a couple of problems: A) Are you saying that because something "takes a lot of work", it is therefore good? Or better? Or more "moral"? There are many things that take a lot of work, that are unhelpful. It takes a lot of work to create the most confusing and illogical tax code in the world, but we have managed to do it. It took a lot of work to create the gulag system. It takes a lot of work to build a good boobytrap. The amount of work that something takes is not a measure of its morality. B) I never wrote that one should be "consumed" by one's emotions. One shouldn't be "consumed" by hate any more than one should be "consumed" by love, or worry, or passion, or indifference. Hate, at least for me, is no more consuming than any other emotion. If one cannot feel an emotion without being "consumed" by it, then perhaps psychotherapy would be in order... C) If one feels logical justified hate, then no amount of "thinking" is going to alter this or make it disappear. For example, if one is severely beaten and robbed... or one's country is invaded and ravaged, then it would be logical and understandable to hate the perpetrator who did it. What sort of "thinking" would alter this? The only kind of "thinking" that might change it would be equivocation or justification... which really are no kinds of thinking at all. D) Many times, hate is as great an incentive for me as love. I hate being late (ridicule from coworkers... criticism from the boss...). I hate the cold (which sometimes gives me the flu)... I hate lies and dishonest people (which causes me to avoid them, which in turn makes my life better and happier)... and on and on. To reject hate while holding on to love would be like rejecting your left foot in favor of your right. They are part of the whole. D) I'm still detecting the quasi-religious, semi-judeochristian, nebulously defined fear of hate, with little support. I fear it is left over, in some people, from some religio-social brainwashing from midle school that drummed into one's head that "it's wrong to hate". I don't buy it!
And back to hate "consuming" you... I've done much, much, MUCH more stupid things for the sake of "love" than hate. I've made a complete fool of myself in the past thanks to love. Love is EXTREMELY "consuming" (if one doesn't take it in moderation... just like any other emotion). But I'm not foolish enough to dismiss love as a dangerous, "corrosive" emotion. This would be like saying that we must dismiss any form of nuclear power due to its "dangerous" qualities. Sure, untamed, in the hands of an immature, illogical person it is "dangerous". But in the hands of someone who is balanced, intelligent, and a thinker who knows how to harness it, any emotion can be a beautiful, useful thing.
I think we need an emotion pyramid... love would be the biggest portion... get your five doses of love a day! And hate, although useful in many ways, should only be used in small doses.
Raven, I agree with everything you wrote above as you wrote it. Especially the psychotherapy part. lol
But, hate, for me, can be extremely non-productive. Not in every case, (like hating to be late, etc.) but in certain cases.
When I was robbed a few years ago, I *hated* having a gun put to my head and being screamed at, cursed at and spit on. Was I justified in my hatred? Of course. Who wouldn't hate that. But, nothing good came from that hatred. It caused me to stop going places. It caused me to unfairly judge all men for a long time. I had to let it go so that I could get back to doing the things I loved to do. It was *good* and *better* for *me* to let it go. And it was *moral* too, I guess. Because I was judging a lot of people unfairly based on one screwed-up guy's behavior. I don't see an upside to holding on to something that destructive because it was stopping me from living my life the way I want to live my life.
More later. I'm sick with allergies today, which I *hate*. Makes me not be able to *think.*
I think anger is good. I often find it very motivating creatively. Hate, though, is like anger that runs over the levee and just causes a mess. When I hate, I'm usually at my least interesting.
Doesn't it really come down to the universal truth, what you send out you get back? Anger is temporary, an immediate and justified reaction to having been harmed. Hate is an ongoing project... a long term commitment, nurtured and ultimately self-defeating.
Doesn't it really come down to the universal truth, what you send out you get back? Anger is temporary, an immediate and justified reaction to having been harmed. Hate is an ongoing project... a long term commitment, nurtured and ultimately self-defeating.
Since the piece is referenced here, forgive me for repeating here what I said on that blog:
I disagree with the idea that experiencing the emotion of hate, or any other emotion -- be it love, passion, worry, empathy, or even indifference-- necessarily means that one doesn't think. That would mean that we would have to eliminate all emotions from our lives. This just isn't human. Why? because it is HUMAN to feel emotions. Does the author believe that Steve Jobs and Mike Wozniak, who actually designed and built computers, never feel emotions? Or that Beethoven and Wagner, composers of some of the most beautiful (and emotional??) music in the world never felt emotions? That's ridiculous.
Neither do I agree with what some would argue, that some emotions are "better" or "healthier" than others. That hate is less healthy than love. Again this argument is without merit. They are simply two sides of the same coin, two facets of human experience. Would it be "wrong" or "unhealthy" to love a romantic partner who has earned your love? No, no more than it would be wrong or unhealthy to hate someone who just beat and robbed you, or murdered your husband, or raped your wife. Just because you feel hate or love does not mean that you should therefore ACT illegally or stupidly (either by loving someone who does not deserve your love, or by physically attacking someone you hate). That is a different issue.
I think it's high time we moved away from the quasi-religious embargo on "hate" that exists in some circles. I'm a thinking atheist man, and I hate, just as much as I love. To deny this would be dishonest.
Posted by: TheRaven | February 04, 2009 at 12:16 PM
I hate, just as much as I love. To deny this would be dishonest.
If I hated as much as I love, I would be intolerable. To myself and to those around me. It only takes a tiny amount of hate to consume me. And it's destructive. I can't do the the things I need and want to do if I'm consumed by hatred.
Although it is *human,* it's a lot easier to hate or to be indifferent. Takes a lot of work -- a lot of thinking -- and then a lot of conscious action -- not to hate. Not to be indifferent -- which means you are living unconsciously -- takes a lot of thinking and a lot of work, too.
I hope Steve addresses your comment. It's always interesting to read what he has to say.
Posted by: bluegirl | February 04, 2009 at 01:39 PM
WTF? I was going to make that comments, blue girl! Fine, it IS your damn blog...
I personally find hate to be, ultimately, corrosive and non-productive. As such, it gets in the way of me doing things I know would improve my situation, or just doesn't allow me to exist in the manner (? not the right word, but I'm rushed right now) that I prefer to "be."
Posted by: heydave | February 04, 2009 at 04:27 PM
WTF? I was going to make that comments, blue girl! Fine, it IS your damn blog...
I personally find hate to be, ultimately, corrosive and non-productive. As such, it gets in the way of me doing things I know would improve my situation, or just doesn't allow me to exist in the manner (? not the right word, but I'm rushed right now) that I prefer to "be."
Posted by: heydave | February 04, 2009 at 04:27 PM
blue girl,
I'm not sure I understand your point. But I'm identifying a couple of problems: A) Are you saying that because something "takes a lot of work", it is therefore good? Or better? Or more "moral"? There are many things that take a lot of work, that are unhelpful. It takes a lot of work to create the most confusing and illogical tax code in the world, but we have managed to do it. It took a lot of work to create the gulag system. It takes a lot of work to build a good boobytrap. The amount of work that something takes is not a measure of its morality. B) I never wrote that one should be "consumed" by one's emotions. One shouldn't be "consumed" by hate any more than one should be "consumed" by love, or worry, or passion, or indifference. Hate, at least for me, is no more consuming than any other emotion. If one cannot feel an emotion without being "consumed" by it, then perhaps psychotherapy would be in order... C) If one feels logical justified hate, then no amount of "thinking" is going to alter this or make it disappear. For example, if one is severely beaten and robbed... or one's country is invaded and ravaged, then it would be logical and understandable to hate the perpetrator who did it. What sort of "thinking" would alter this? The only kind of "thinking" that might change it would be equivocation or justification... which really are no kinds of thinking at all. D) Many times, hate is as great an incentive for me as love. I hate being late (ridicule from coworkers... criticism from the boss...). I hate the cold (which sometimes gives me the flu)... I hate lies and dishonest people (which causes me to avoid them, which in turn makes my life better and happier)... and on and on. To reject hate while holding on to love would be like rejecting your left foot in favor of your right. They are part of the whole. D) I'm still detecting the quasi-religious, semi-judeochristian, nebulously defined fear of hate, with little support. I fear it is left over, in some people, from some religio-social brainwashing from midle school that drummed into one's head that "it's wrong to hate". I don't buy it!
And back to hate "consuming" you... I've done much, much, MUCH more stupid things for the sake of "love" than hate. I've made a complete fool of myself in the past thanks to love. Love is EXTREMELY "consuming" (if one doesn't take it in moderation... just like any other emotion). But I'm not foolish enough to dismiss love as a dangerous, "corrosive" emotion. This would be like saying that we must dismiss any form of nuclear power due to its "dangerous" qualities. Sure, untamed, in the hands of an immature, illogical person it is "dangerous". But in the hands of someone who is balanced, intelligent, and a thinker who knows how to harness it, any emotion can be a beautiful, useful thing.
Posted by: TheRaven | February 05, 2009 at 03:31 AM
I think we need an emotion pyramid... love would be the biggest portion... get your five doses of love a day! And hate, although useful in many ways, should only be used in small doses.
Posted by: Jennifer | February 05, 2009 at 09:04 AM
Raven, I agree with everything you wrote above as you wrote it. Especially the psychotherapy part. lol
But, hate, for me, can be extremely non-productive. Not in every case, (like hating to be late, etc.) but in certain cases.
When I was robbed a few years ago, I *hated* having a gun put to my head and being screamed at, cursed at and spit on. Was I justified in my hatred? Of course. Who wouldn't hate that. But, nothing good came from that hatred. It caused me to stop going places. It caused me to unfairly judge all men for a long time. I had to let it go so that I could get back to doing the things I loved to do. It was *good* and *better* for *me* to let it go. And it was *moral* too, I guess. Because I was judging a lot of people unfairly based on one screwed-up guy's behavior. I don't see an upside to holding on to something that destructive because it was stopping me from living my life the way I want to live my life.
More later. I'm sick with allergies today, which I *hate*. Makes me not be able to *think.*
Posted by: bluegirl | February 05, 2009 at 09:37 AM
Jennifer, I can see your illustration now!
Posted by: bluegirl | February 05, 2009 at 09:50 AM
I'm hoping my favorite Hater weighs in here!
Posted by: bluegirl | February 05, 2009 at 10:07 AM
I think anger is good. I often find it very motivating creatively. Hate, though, is like anger that runs over the levee and just causes a mess. When I hate, I'm usually at my least interesting.
Posted by: Brando | February 05, 2009 at 01:45 PM
I think anger is good. I often find it very motivating creatively.
I knew that about you, Brando and I'm envious of it. Any kind of "downer" emotion stops me from being creative. I get all tied in knots.
Posted by: bluegirl | February 05, 2009 at 02:02 PM
I hate hatred.
Posted by: Dan Leo | February 05, 2009 at 04:35 PM
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha
Posted by: heydave | February 05, 2009 at 04:35 PM
Hate is too easy. Too too easy. Being nice is easy. Especially once you get the gist of it.
Posted by: Adorable Girlfriend | February 05, 2009 at 06:11 PM
Doesn't it really come down to the universal truth, what you send out you get back? Anger is temporary, an immediate and justified reaction to having been harmed. Hate is an ongoing project... a long term commitment, nurtured and ultimately self-defeating.
Shine the light on the darkness!
Posted by: scribbler50 | February 05, 2009 at 06:22 PM
Doesn't it really come down to the universal truth, what you send out you get back? Anger is temporary, an immediate and justified reaction to having been harmed. Hate is an ongoing project... a long term commitment, nurtured and ultimately self-defeating.
Shine the light on the darkness!
Posted by: scribbler50 | February 05, 2009 at 06:23 PM
I forgot to mention that I hate our freedom.
Oh, and also, for one of the above commenters, quoth Sgt. Hulka.
Posted by: Dan Leo | February 06, 2009 at 04:38 AM