Our Ugly Neighbor

Yesterday morning, I heard the revving of a chainsaw, and I knew our neighbor behind us was about to start taking down trees again. Which is exactly what he did all day long. And I knew The Skimmer was going to start ranting and raving. And, yep, that’s exactly what he did all day long.

Up until now, I haven’t really cared that much. We’re not going to be in this house much longer and I figured it’s his property and he can do whatever he wants with it. Not that I understand why someone would buy a beautiful wooded lot in an established, park-like neighborhood and kill every tree, but I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t really care to try to understand why anyone does anything, reminding myself that I don’t even know most of the time why I do what I do.  And if there’s one thing I’d like time trying to understand a little bit more, it’s that, not the complicated psyche of some tree killing stranger who has no respect for nature or for those around him and whose entire purpose seems to be making things uglier.

The house he built is ugly. His landscaping in the front is ugly. And now that he’s cut down every tree, our view is ugly. But, not as ugly as Kay’s view, our neighbor a few houses up. She stopped over here last month and said she can see him when he’s walking around in his house all hours of the day and night. Naked.

He showed up at my front door one morning a couple of weeks ago, fully clothed, in baggy jeans and t-shirt, wearing a baseball cap backwards. He wanted to know if we were the ones who called the city on him. I was on the phone and still in my pajamas and couldn’t talk to him. I just said, “No, see ya, bye.” But, if I wouldn’t have been on the phone and if I would’ve been more presentable, I would have told him that if he’s going to take down all the old oaks and maples, he should put up some blinds and curtains. But, I’m not sure he’d have seen the sense in that knowing he doesn’t have the sense not to take down all the old oaks and maples to begin with.

I figured Kay was the one who called the city on him. And she could have, a couple of weeks ago. But, I spoke with another neighbor this morning who had called the city on him months ago. Becky called this morning to ask about us trimming some branches back on a birch tree that is on our property that is dropping leaves into her gutters.

“Of course,” I said. I would never want to clutter her gutters. And then our tree talk turned to Naked Boy tree talk. She’s as fed up as The Skimmer. Because he’s changed the lay of the land, when it rains, water is now rushing onto their patio, which is right up against their house. Used to be, because of the way the land sloped, the water would rush through the center of their backyard. She called the city and found out that Naked Boy is tied in with some councilman’s aunt’s husband’s sister or something. He has connections. There was nothing they could do. So, there was nothing Becky could do.

“We’re screwed,” she said.

The Skimmer and I went outside to look at the birch that needs trimmed and then stared at the big, ugly view for awhile. The six or so trees that Naked Boy cut down yesterday left a very large, empty spot for sun to shine through onto our property that used to be completely hidden in shade. It’s a rough area where saplings grow, where we would dump leaves, where we would gather and pile large branches from trees that had fallen after a storm.  It was shadowy and quiet and park-like, and now it’s just an ugly mess, made uglier by the ugly attitude of a guy who has no respect for nature or for those around him.

And now I have to clean it up. Or, call a tree guy.

Comments

[ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©]

He is a tree murderer!

To hell with 'em.
~

[Jennifer]

Grrrrrrr!

Maybe you should put a bunch of naked mannequins on his lawn... staring at him!

[blue girl]

You know, there is really nothing we can do. The guy is a destroyer. Obviously, he doesn't care. At all.

So, I'm gonna do the only thing I *can* do. I'm gonna write him a letter and tell him how disrespectful he is and what a destroyer he is. And how he has alienated everyone around him. And I'll get all the neighbors to sign the letter.

It's all we can do! And I'm sure he won't care -- but at least we'll get it off our chests by let him know what we think of him.

[Jennifer]

Then you can fill his lawn with naked mannequins. :)

[Jennifer]

Or... you could sick those evil deer on him!

[Jenny]

Question.....what is he actually getting out of taking these trees down? Is he putting in a pool, building a deck, getting a better view of his neighbors windows, hoping to catch a naked glance???? Creepy......

Sometimes I just need to know why and I can't find a reason. Any enlightenment?

[blue girl]

Well, he told Becky that he's going to build a garage in the back. Cuz the one attached to the house is too small for his truck.

LOL! It just keeps getting worse.

[Wren]

I'm gonna sic the Ents on 'im.

[Claire]

I cannot express how angry shit like this makes me. Plus it sounds like he's devaluing the whole block. I hope they don't approve his garage.

[Larry Jones]

My instinct is to ask the same question as Jenny, essentially, does he have some reason for doing what he's doing?

But I like your letter idea. Of course, if it turns out that he does care, it's already too late. Nonetheless I would mention in the letter that he is part of a neighborhood, a community, and his actions affect everyone around him, and it would have been better -- more neighborly -- to consider that before starting the clearcutting.

Also, if he keeps knockin' on doors trying to find out who called the city, remember: you are all Spartacus.

PS: Will you be moving to the winter palace, or having a new mansion built?

[Mandos]

What is the lawn landscaping like anyway?

[TheRaven]

It's his property, he can do what he likes with it. And, with the amount of whining you're doing, if I were him, I'd probably do it too, just to piss you off.
He has no legal obligation to consult with you or anyone else about what he does with his own property, in regards to cutting down trees on his own land. And finally, just because he cuts down trees on his own land doesn't mean he "has no respect for nature".

[Jennifer]

I'm wondering if TheRaven is BG's neighbor...

[Kathleen Maher]

The way he's destroying the land and inflicting ugliness all around him makes him scary. Don't try reasoning with an unreasonable man, not in your pajamas or a Halloween costume or a full suit of armor, bg.
I've had goofy neighbors and obnoxious neighbors and neighbors who blamed me for mud puddles, insects, and highway noise. But I've also lived with neighbors who decided to hate me, and that constant ill will was was worse than anything.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Wrong, Raven.

Most communities have regulations regarding what you can do with your land, and changing drainage patterns is a HUGE no-no.

You can't build a garage too close to a property line, you can't pave your yard and dump the runoff on your neighbor's land, you can't build over certain heights. Most suburbs, citadels of personal freedom, now have regulations on building materials, roof pitches, many times even types of windows and colors. Size of building, class of construction, type of use, size and lot configuration, all have an impact outside of your lot lines and the Building Inspection department rightly is charged with protecting the common good in these and other aspects.

The idea of personal fiefdoms based on an annual tax bill is an unwholesomely American idea. The self sufficient Galtian uber-lord is a fable. Property ownership of almost any kind is subject to many regulations, and "he can do what he wants with it" is a destructive attitude. What if he wants to use it as a pig farm? Or maybe he wants to race go-karts? Tan hides? Sell gasoline? Build an eight story apartment?

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Also, because I am a jerk and a zombie, I think BG is perfectly justified in opining that cutting down trees to build a garage for a hyperthyroidal gas guzzler does, indeed, evidence a lack of respect for nature.

I haven't seen the site, but as a designer I would be surprised if there wasn't a way toexpand his vehicular storage without being so destructive. Different siting, enlarging the existing, of course the idea of getting a smaller vehicle is OUT OF THE FARGING QUESTION.

Beege hasn't said, but I would be surprised if this guy had any real need for a Suburban Assault Vehicle, or ever even got it dirty.

[blue girl]

And ZRM sums it up perfectly!

Naked Boy's getting away with everything he's doing because of his connections. It's a cryin' shame.

Don't try reasoning with an unreasonable man

Kathleen, that's how I've felt all along. But I am going to let him know how I feel about it. He can choose to ignore it if he wants, which is what I'm sure he'll do.

Mandos, it's just haphazardly done. And everything is oversized. House is too big for the lot -- he brought in big huge landscaping boulders and created "levels" in his front yard. It's just gawdy.

Raven, ...just to piss you off.

Seems like that's the only reason you comment on my blog.

[TheRaven]

Sorry zombie, but it isn't up to you to decide what others have a need for. And besides, one can own whatever kind of vehicle one wants, regardles of one's "need". The operating word is WANT, not "need".
And cutting down trees is not building garages or decks, etc. Naturally you need a building permit or some other sort of permission from the city for that. Cutting down trees, however, is not the same thing. And besides, there's very little that can be done about it once they're cut down.
And again no, cutting down trees on your own land doesn't evidence a lack of respect for nature. I can cut down trees on my land all day long, and still stand in awe of the Grand Canyon, or Mount Everest, or fossils of Brontosaurus at the local museum. After all, someone cut down trees to build your house... and the Power Plant that enables you to read at night and watch TV... in fact, someone cut down trees to build the city you live in. And if you have any wood paneling at all in your house, some cut down trees to make that. And to make grazing areas for the cows you consume. So the notion that to shape your own land into something you want is somehow "disrespectful of nature" is ridiculous. No one respects nature more than engineers and architects and builders of all kinds, because they must learn the rules of nature (physics, statics, dynamics etc) and master them.
"The idea of personal fiefdoms based on an annual tax bill is an unwholesomely American idea." No idea what that means. Your land IS your "personal fiefdom". Who else's fiefdom would it be? And if you find the idea of personal property to be offensive or "unwholesome", perhaps you would feel more comfortable in another country. And again yes, if there are laws against raising pigs on your property, you naturally cannot do that. But every city and county is different. For example, in my city, it is illegal to keep chickens in your backyard. But in the city nextdoor, it is legal, assuming you follow certain guidelines. So you can't generalize. Yes, perhaps it is specifically illegal in his city/county for him to cut down his own trees. But I would seriously doubt that. Would need to look at the codes. And as a police officer I am all about codes. Same goes for whatever housing development he's a part of.

[scribbler50]

Good thing you're moving, BG, this damage is irreparable. It's not like it's an isolated incident that's occurred... a spat that pisses you off and then you move on from it. Every day you look out your window this carnage will take a bite out of you.

We had a similar thing when I was a kid back in Pgh. and I swear it eventually affected my mother's health. She obsessed on it daily to the point where she started getting sick. Because this doesn't just affect your sense of aesthetics... how pretty things used to be... but your psyche in its utter disregard for you as a person. And what YOU care about. It's saying "f--k you", you don't matter, this is what I want!" Unhealthy all way 'round, believe me.

Best of luck in your new home and may it be in an a--hole free zone.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

. No one respects nature more than engineers and architects and builders of all kinds, because they must learn the rules of nature (physics, statics, dynamics etc) and master them.

Heh.

Someone want to clue this guy in on just what kind of zombie I am?

Or can I?

The idea that your property lines provide some kind of bubble around your activities is ludicrous.

Your land is NOT your personal fiefdom. You are regulated against certain uses and activities, no matter WHERE you are.

I wasn't saying cutting down trees was against the law. I said altering the drainage patterns is, and removing trees and the root systems MAY change that. And I kind of doubt that he is using those trees for wood product, as you kind of implied; More likely they are going straight to the landfill (but not in the back of that nice Truck)

I think he just likes running his chainsaw.

Hey, he can buy whatever frickin vehicle he wants, and spend as much on gas as he wants too, and we will all laugh at him when he's paying two or three bills on the fillup. But he could also consider his garage needs accordingly, and maybe buy a property that accommodates them.

And maybe also consider that confrontational relationships with the neighbors are less than ideal.

[TheRaven]

zombie, that's the heart of the matter. Unless the codes of a city or county specifically say "altering the drainage patterns of (what? the neighborhood?) is illegal", well, it ISN'T illegal. And again, you would be hard-pressed to find a municipality that specifically bans cutting down trees on your own property. And in any case, it's a civil matter, not a criminal one. At most they would fine him. And what he's using the wood for is irrelevant. He can turn it into toilet paper if he wants to. That's the beauty of owning your own property-- you can do what you want with it.
And as for scribbler-- "..in its utter disregard for you as a person. And what YOU care about. It's saying "f--k you", you don't matter, this is what I want!"
Uh, that's pretty much what the 1st amendment gives you the right to do. And when it comes to my own property, I do what *I* want, not what YOU want. And if you came over and complained about something I was doing with my own property, I'd probably say "f you" too! Only I wouldn't just say "f", I'd use the entire word. Unless you were a member of my family, or my employer, or there were some other form of important connection.. or if you were a good-looking neighbor woman who comes over in a bikini bearing margaritas and offering me backrubs or more on a daily basis.. then maybe I'd take your concerns into consideration. But if you're a total stranger you'd be unreasonable to expect someone else who you don't know from Adam to adhere to your own wants and desires, aesthetic or not.

[blue girl]

Don't worry, scribbler. Although it's aggravating, disheartening, and rude, I live with a teenager and have built up quite a resistance to such things! lol I can let it slide off my back much, much easier than the Skimmer can.

...perhaps you would feel more comfortable in another country.

Yes, ZRM, I know there has to be a need for good architects somewhere. Cuba, maybe?

[blue girl]

Dear Lord, Raven. You are a piece of work.

[Larry Jones]

"...as a police officer I am all about codes."

This explains a lot. "Raven" is a wannabe cop who couldn't become a real police officer because he was unable to pass the psychological tests, so now he puts on his security guard uniform every morning and goes out to pose as a law enforcement officer, and when he can get away with it, he tells folks he's a police officer.

In his spare time he trolls these blogs anonymously chastising writers who offend his sociopathic sensibilities by saying what's going on in their lives and how they feel about it. He's the only one in this thread who does not provide a link back to his own blog, even though he seems to have plenty of time to spend on the internet. Is that because he doesn't have any original thoughts to write about, or because he is afraid that whiners will come to his site and post comments?

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

BG exposed my sekrit identity.

But contrary to Mr Raven, rap rap rappin at Beege's chamber door, that neighborhood is part of a town, which is part of a county, part of a state....

These entities have natural formations called watersheds. Our rivers, lakes, and not incidentally, potable water systems as well as water treatment systems depend on them operating in a consistent, predictable way. Thus, states have generally instituted regulations regarding how the built environment interacts with them.

It is, in almost all instances, not allowable to change your property in a way that causes your drainage to flow onto a neighbor's property if it did not before. As a matter of fact, in most developed areas, there is a limit to home much you can change your property if that change even INCREASES the amount of runoff, regardless of where it goes. And if YOU don't like THAT, maybe you are the one that needs to be considering emigrating.

No one said this was a criminal matter. YOU brought it up, as you did lumber use. Tangents at best, but I didn't bring them up.

You are correct in one particular. I don't know the specifics of the situation, but neither do you.

[TheRaven]

"Dear Lord, Raven. You are a piece of work."
Same to you, lady. Get bent.

as for Larry Jones:
a) I don't have a blog. I work. Don't have to time to make a blog. I wouldn't know how to make one if I wanted to.
b) It's my day off. I can spend it as I choose.
c) *MY* ideas aren't original? But a busybody housewife whining about what someone else does in their own backyard IS original? My goodness, you need to read more, son.
d) Sure, you're free to accuse me of lying about who I am. But then, you'd have to apply the same standard to everyone, including yourself. No one can possibly be what they claim to be online. So I won't bother to ask you what YOU do for a living. Because by your own standard, if you told the truth it would be something unimpressive, and if it were a job that mattered, you'd be accused of lying about it.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Yes, ZRM, I know there has to be a need for good architects somewhere. Cuba, maybe?

I can't think of a country that NEEDED good architects more than America.

PAYING for them, however, seems to be a different matter....

[Jennifer]

Let's not even talk about drainage and properties... those of you who know me, know what a hell of a year it's been in that regard. :)

And... in BG's defense, a whining housewife? Oh come on... I know for a fact she's more than that and even if she weren't, she'd still be enough, as would The Raven, as would Larry and the Zombie...

Isn't anyone else enjoying the fact that The Raven and The Zombie are having a scuffle? I keep waiting for Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi to show up!

It's the first day of autumn... revel in those trees while they still have leaves... and while there are still trees! Just kidding!

I'm guessing we all have fewer differences than we think and have much more in common. It's always nice if we can oblige a bit, whether in comment threads or in backyards... it would have been nice if the neighbor had worked with the other neighbors, whether he had to or not. You catch more flies with honey.

End of sermon.

[The One and Only. The Original. The Beege.]

I'd like to make a profound comment, but it's bon-bon time.

[TheRaven]

zombie,
as if my above postings aren't evidence enough of my having too much time on my hands today, I've actually looked up my city's code online, and have made some discoveries.
Yes, i know about watersheds. Anyway, I was wrong-- according to city code, "land-disturbing activities... including but not limited to.. clearing, grading...of the land.. which would disturb the natural vegetation or the existing contours of the land.. or result in soil erosion from water or wind and the movement of sediments into public or private storm drainage facilities, state waters.." etc etc is actually a "Class 1 Misdemeanor" punishable by up to a year in jail, and so IS a criminal offense. Never knew it before, but apparently I could write someone a summons (or take them into custody if they refused to cease) if I caught them cutting down their trees on a large enough scale. Well I'll be darned.
I really have better things to do than look for people cutting down their trees of course. That's what city inspectors and fire marshals and such are for. But it's an interesting tidbit to know. It could certainly be used as Probable Cause to enter the property of a citizen if I suspected they were up to some other unrelated offense. So this exchange has been useful.
But you are right, neither of us knows the particulars of the situation. It might be legal to cut down the forest and build bonfires and sing the Goetterdaemmerung naked where she lives.

[Bela Lugosi]

Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. The garages . That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. The felled trees, the irritated neighbors, the violated codes. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of tree robbers from outer space?

[Jennifer]

That should be "Tree Robbers From Outer Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!!!"

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

That's what city inspectors and fire marshals and such are for.

As well as professionals like architects, who have a fiduciary responsibility to the public-at-large (depending on the professional statutes in effect) to safeguard the public welfare. Not to tattle or anything, but if one of us sees an inherently dangerous or illegal situation, we also may feel the need to contact the relevant Official.

Ol Rav (can I call you Rav? I feel like we're old friends) Was quite gracious in his admission up above. Now, maybe an apology to our lovely Bon-Bon eating Housewife Hostess, who you told to "get bent" I believe?

[TheRaven]

Haha. Very funny, Bela. I thought I was the only geek who watched Plan 9 From Outer Space.
Incidentally I arrested a guy named Vincent Price last week (no relation of course). I am hoping to find a Lon Chaney next.
And I own a pet raven. Thus my name. Long story.
Halloween is coming...

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Never knew it before, but apparently I could write someone a summons (or take them into custody if they refused to cease) if I caught them cutting down their trees on a large enough scale.

Actually, it is more likely to be taken care of as a civil matter, as you pointed out, being fined by the City, receiving an order to desist and maybe even undo the changes.

In extreme cases, it could result in legal action or arrest, if the Owner is intransigent.

Locally, we had a case where a property owner along the high-rent district went out one night and cut down the trees in the PUBLIC PARK across the street, because they obscured his view of the lake from his living room. He was fined, of course, but apparently was willing to pay the price, because the trees will not grow back for some time, and in the meantime, he got his view.

Slightly different, I know, but sometimes what people think of as their 'property rights' goes far beyond reality, or even what is reasonable.

[Jennifer]

Now this song is stuck in my head!

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

I'm waiting for some uber-geek to point out that the speech was Criswell, not Bela.

But I had to be loose with the facts to make the joke work....

[George Romero]

Maybe all of you can gather in this deserted farmhouse?

[TheRaven]

zombie you are right, it would most likely be taken care of as a civil matter. But as long as it's in the books, and is a an actual criminal offense as it is in my city, it CAN be enforced criminally. And as long as that's the case, it can be used as Probable Cause to enter property that couldn't otherwise be entered legally. For example, I used to take a good look at the exterior of dumpy houses that I knew were crack houses, but had no legal reason to enter. I would notice something amiss-- like illegally dangling power lines... garbage illegally dumped on the side of the house... someone obviously hooking a neighbor's TV cable line into their own house, etc. Any of that is always enough PC to enter the property (yard) which can lead to other things and discoveries.. etc. Now I can add illegally altering one's property and "land disturbing" to that litany.

[Jennifer]

I'm waiting for some uber-geek to point out that the speech was Criswell, not Bela.

I knew that, but decided that going with goodwill was better than ballbusting over facts.

Hey, ZRM... This weekend I was trying to come up with an old (not Bela old, but still old by this date) horror movie that had a very young Jack Nicholson in it. Do you recall it?

[The One and Only. The Original. The Beege.]

Jennifer, of course my mind took the jump from your song to this!

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Little Shop Of Horrors?

[Jennifer]

I found it... it was called, "The Terro", but noticed that just before that film, he was in...

"The Raven"!!!

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

"The Terra"?

Back to earth-disturbing activities!!

[Jennifer]

Yes BG! All you need it lahve!!! And some well-placed trees. :)

And ZRM- that should have been... The Terror.

[Jennifer]

DAMN!! I need to stop trying to type while holding a cup in one hand...

All you need IS love... not it!

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Nicholson also had a significant hand in that Monkees movie,"Head"

Micky Dolenz said they spent quite a bit of time out drinking and doing substances. Big shock.

[TheRaven]

You guys have inspired me to break out my MST3K version of Manos: The Hands of Fate.

[Torgo]

The Master will be pleased....

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

I knew that, but decided that going with goodwill was better than ballbusting over facts.

I am totally surprised you passed up the chance to bust the zombie's chops.

[Roger the Shrubber]

Oh, what sad times are these when passing commenters can say "Ni" at will to bloggers blogging about shrubbery cutting.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

wearing a baseball cap backwards.

Talk about your Probable Cause....

[Dan Leo]

Sartre's line about how hell being other people might be a tad extreme, but hell most definitely is "some people".

[Skimmer]

Raven, it's people like you that drove the indians on to reservations, clear cut the Amazon and blew the top off of mountains just to get to the coal.

There is no "need" there is only man's arrogance.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

The problem, Skimmer, is that many people consider those to be POSITIVE moves....

[Dan Leo]

Hey, I made a really clever comment and it didn't go through!

And it was really, really clever!

Honest...

[Dan Leo]

Too bad I can't remember what my clever comment was...

[Sue]

Tossing in my two cents on the naked neighbor....
I once had a neighbor who was always a problem... The patio they built had a roof and bricks that drained into our yard. When it snowed, it made a river into our yard. They built a shed that was slanted to drain into our yard. They had a pile of crap on their half of our connected driveway that when they cleaned it up bugs and all kinds of creepy crawlies came running to our half of the drive.. the list goes on and on..
We too were moving and were glad to be leaving the headache. I was glad to know the person buying our house knew a friend of theirs and it sounded like it would be hunky dory... however...
The person buying our place was not putting up with all of the ways they overstepped the boundries and she tried telling them nicely, and when that didn't work.. they ended up in a suing fest. Sad all around and expensive too. I don't know if there is ever a winner in things like that, but I am sure they all think twice before they make changes now.

[blue girl]

Ugh, Sue. That's horrible. And that's the sort of thing my neighbor's going through because of what he's doing. Pretty soon the water that's rushing across their patio will start to seep into their basement.

Yours is even a bigger "It's what I want and I don't care about you" situation. It's amazing people can be that self centered.

[Kathleen (in Oakland)]

this is a very bizarre comment thread.

[Q-R]

The troll was mismanaged, got out of control after being inadvertently fed by well-meaning participants.

This thread could be a case-study in the dynamics of such things, with the excellent attempts to reason with him, and then to ridicule him, eventually leading to his outrageously crude 'get bent' comment.

[blue girl]

Q-R, thanks for showing up and leaving your comment above. You are so right, on all counts.

[rob mcfarlane]

dessist your peony offends me

[blue girl]

Rob, your comment makes pink peony very sad.