A Swift Kick

Update Below.

For all my big talk about death and dying these last couple of years -- how it's hard, but it's a part of life and you better figure out a way to accept it because it's going to happen to everyone -- for all of that and more that I've thought and said, trying to convince those around me to just try to will themselves to feel better, when in reality what I was doing by thinking and saying those things was trying to will myself to feel better -- I pretty much fell apart even before I got to the end of Wolcott's post about the death of Al Weisel, also known as Jon Swift in the blogosphere.

I knew Jon Swift the way I know most of the bloggers I "know." Which is to say, not very well. But, we connected for some reason. We traded links a few times years ago and then he became Mr. Famous Blogger and left me behind in the dust.

Just kidding.

He would've known I was just kidding without me even saying I was just kidding.

He was the one who nominated me for the Weblog Awards year after year. The first time I discovered it was him who did that I emailed him.

"Are you nuts?"

"Yes."

"Well, make sure you vote for me. And remember you can vote every 24 hours. For me."

There was a kindness in him thinking of me in that way year after year that really touched me. And I'm not alone in thinking that. Kathleen Maher commented over at Tom Watson's:

My condolences, too, to everyone who loved him. And to all who will miss this profoundly witty, generous man.

Personally, I am devastated to hear this. Al Weisel went a far out of his way to encourage my fiction writing. He was probably the first, other than my husband, to show a consistent interest in it. He promoted my little blog two years running, getting it--in all its minuscule obscurity--nominated as a finalist in the Weblog Awards. He once emailed me from Bolivia where he was reviewing movies to compliment me on a portion of my novel. Nobody has ever extended that much to my writing...

He was kind and generous to lots of bloggers. And he was definitely profoundly witty. So witty in fact that I would email him telling him how hilarious it was that so many conservatives were taking him seriously.

I met Al a couple of years ago at a newcritics get-together in New York City where I snapped a couple of pictures of him.

"You can't post those!"

"Why not?!"

"You better not!"

At the end of the night, I was standing out front with the last of the stragglers and he was bouncing up and down, with his hands in his pockets, telling one story after another. And I stood there and thought, I'm starving, I'm freezing and my feet are killing me! I'm gonna post those pictures if we don't leave right now! Let's go!

I wish I would have said it out loud.

Earlier in the night, I did tell him how much I loved the post he wrote that year for Mother's Day.

"Such a great headline! My Mother is a Terrible Person." And then I lolol'd in real life.

That post made me think about his mother, wondering if she got a huge kick out of him. And all the posts tonight have me thinking of her again. My heart breaks for her.

Blogging is a very strange activity. And it's a wonderfully strange community. The people I've gotten to know through blogging mean the world to me. And if you are one of those wonderfully strange people I've connected with, please be careful out there. I've figured out that I have nothing figured out except that it's pretty hard to will yourself to feel better after such a devastating blow, no matter what anyone says.

Rest in peace, Jon Swift.

***

Via skippy the bush kangaroo, Sadly No!, in memory of Al, has opened up a thread where everyone can drop a link to their favorite "smaller" blogger. Great idea!

Comments

[Jennifer]

He was very kind. I don't remember why, but we shared a few emails. I think they were for those posts where he's ask you to put up your favorite one, or something like that... I just remember him telling me in one that although he was sure I was a nice person, that piece of pie I had on my blog, scared him. :)

I feel so bad for his mother... the amount of loss she was asked to take at once... Life is not fair. I hope she finds some shred of solace in how much her son was loved.

[Kathleen Maher]

Thank you, blue girl. We do need to put things in perspective and we are all going to die. But until we do, let's remember those who brought happiness or confidence or fun into our lives.
The was a wonderful way of remembering Al. It may help his mother to see how many lives he affected. Even struggling with grief for her husband and son, hearing of the many, many people he made laugh, and helped, can't hurt. No doubt she already knows he was a man who would benefit us all.

[skippy]

he was one of the most encouraging writers i ever knew to help others find their voice and their audience...highly reminiscent of steve gilliard and jim capazzola.

this is devastating news.

[Dan Leo]

I was saying something similar to Kathleen's sentiment over at Tom Watson's place. As horrible as this time is for Al's loved ones, it must help to know that there were so many people out there who appreciated him.

And tragedies like this remind me to appreciate all the more the friends I've got.

[Nate Peele]

I got a brilliant idea to start a satirical blog back in March of 2008. It just so happened that it was during a brief hiatus that Al had taken from the blogging world and several people asked me "Are you Jon Swift?" This lead me to a quick perusal of his blog and I was crushed.

Not only was his blog up long before mine, where my posts would be a couple of quick satirical jabs at a target, his were hysterical verbal devestation. I felt like a guy who had invented the Beta Max player and discovered Blue Ray had already been out for two years.

Like many bloggers have reported, I communicated with Jon Swift--he had a very friendly link exchange policy and that led to a handful of emails back in forth. He was an A list blogger and I was barely D list, but he always found time to encourage me. He will be greatly missed.

[Skimmer]

I did not know Jon, but from the out pouring of grief he must have been special.

When someone like Jon dies it confirms for me that there is a heaven. There just has to be. A good soul like Jon deserves a better place.

[Brando]

I was very sad to here the news. I only had a couple e-mail exchanges with him, when he asked for links for his round-up. But like Nate, I was so impressed with his writing. He could weave such dense satire to the point where I wondered if he really was a conservative! That takes talent.

Very nice post, BG, and he will be missed by many people.

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

Stephen King once said that writers should read EVERYTHING with one of two emotions: supreme, weary contempt or bone-grinding envy.

Not much of a writer, but: Jon Swift was always the second one for me.

[purchase viagra online]

I did not know Jon, but from the out pouring of grief he must have been special.

[Von]

I didn't know him, but you're my people, so he's my people.
I'm hugging my people right ****nooowwww****

[zombie rotten mcdonald]

I didn't know him either, Von, because I am a sucky P-List blogger who concentrates far too much on prog music. But I read him; O yes I read him.

And just like I said with musicians, the loss of a Writer lessens us all. But the words remain.

And as HST would say, Jon Swift stomped on the Terra.

[Brenda]

Oh, BG. What a breathtakingly beautiful post. I can't believe I never knew him. But maybe this is the power/joy of the word. It offers us an after-life, even when the man is gone. Am going to read him now.

[Kathleen]

what terrible, sad news. lovely post BG.

[Generic Viagra]

for all of that and more that I've thought and said, trying to convince those around me to just try to will themselves to feel better,

[Mimi Weisel]

I can't believe it's almost a yeaar since that horrific day. I thank God for all of you friends and bloggers who are keeping Al's memory alive. I know he's in a better place bu I'm still sad that when I go to tell him something or get his view of anything, I can only do it in my dreams. Sorry, I guess I'm just feeling sad. Thank you all for every kind thought that I can go back and reread. Mimi Weisel, Al's Mom