The last few weeks of packing up our old house to move, we began to give stuff away, and throw stuff away in a manic fury. But for several months before that, The Skimmer and I would argue about not giving or throwing away anything. He being the one who'd want to do it; me being the one who over my dead body would we ever do it.
"Can we finally give this to Goodwill?"
"That's the box of my Grandma's hand-sewn linens! No!"
"We have been moving this box from place to place for 20 years. You've never even opened it! Get over it!"
"No!"
When we moved into our new place, he watched as I unpacked something. He said, "What is that?!"
"Blue Kid made it."
"It's a rock!"
Since obviously it's so much more than just a rock, I didn't tell him that Blue Kid made the rock when he was six years old. I put it on the window ledge in the kitchen as The Skimmer struggled to carry the heavy box of my Grandma's linens to the basement where it will stay until we move again, and where it will move along with us again because in my new house I'm going to have fabulous dinner parties where I will use my Grandma's hand-sewn linens on the table and everyone will ooh and ah over them and I will stare across the table at The Skimmer as they do, silently laughing and making an I told you so face.
Because that's how my Grandma would want it.
Until the day I am proven right about my Grandma's box of linens, I will have to put up with a few things, as I have for the last year and a half.
"Boy, that was a refreshing Coke. I loved it so much, I hate to throw this can away."
"Shut up."
"That was a nice birthday card from your Dad. But how could I have just thrown the envelope away so carelessly? His handwriting was on it!"
"Shut up."
"What is this?!"
"That's the box of magazines and newspapers from when Princess Di and John Kennedy, Jr. died."
"Oh my God, I am trying to make room in this storage room! Can I throw them away?!"
"No!"
"What are you ever going to do with them?!"
"I don't know!"
After work on Friday, we went shopping to get Blue Kid a bunch of stuff for the new house he just moved into. As we got out of the car The Skimmer picked up the cup of coffee that had been sitting in my coffee holder since Wednesday. He hoisted the styrofoam cup in the air and bellowed, "Can I throw this away? Or do you have special memories of it?"
I laughed and then thought, I do have special memories of it.
On my way to a meeting in Cleveland last Wednesday, I stopped to get gas. I was the only customer at the station that was the only station in the middle of nowhere. The two employees working were out front, smoking cigarettes. Tight jeans, black t-shirts, rainbow-lensed, wraparound sunglasses. One had a black leather vest on. They didn't look like the type of girls who would save a box of magazines from when Princess Di died. They looked like the type who would roll up one of the magazines and beat me to death with it. The Skimmer would have loved them.
I was done pumping gas and ran inside to get a cup of coffee. One of the women walked over to the pump and grabbed my receipt. They both came into the station.
The platinum blonde handed me my receipt. "Here you go, honey."
"Thanks." And I handed her two dollars for the coffee.
"Aw, don't worry about it."
"Really?"
"Yeah, don't worry about it."
Surprised, I said, "How come?"
The other one said, in a sing-songy voice, "Cuz we're nice!"
"You are! Thank you! I'll do something nice for someone today, in your honor."
"Yeah, pay it forward, honey!"
I promised I would and as I walked to my car they both sort of yelled in their sing-songy voices, "Have a good day!"
"You guys, too!"
Those two were the highlight of my week.
The Skimmer tossed the styrofoam cup of coffee into the trash can outside of the store. As we went in to get Blue Kid's stuff, he said, "What else is he going to need?"
"Well, we've got to find that box of black dishes in the basement. The ones we bought when we first got married? I've been saving those for him ever since."
"Think they made the move?"
"I hope so."
You're hilarious.
I throw things out when Missus Z isn't looking, just to see if she notices.
Almost never.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | August 12, 2012 at 02:27 PM
I gotta clean the garage. People are gonna see that shit when I'm dead.
Posted by: Larry Jones | August 12, 2012 at 04:29 PM
LOL! I have stuff that I should have thrown away long ago.
But I used to have many Spy magazines. I wonder if I threw those away...I will regret that, if true.
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | August 12, 2012 at 05:39 PM
ZRM, *That* is what we ended up doing when it came down to the wire. I told The Skimmer, "Just don't tell me, don't show me -- do what you think you should do."
Larry, What all do you have out in the garage, hmmmm?
thunder, I know. I have *many* regrets about some of the things I decided to toss. :( Hope you find your magazines! (If not, I'll give you a couple of mine.)
Posted by: blue girl | August 13, 2012 at 07:22 AM
I AM NOT KEEPING THIS JAR OF EYEBALLS ANY LONGER!!!!
Posted by: fish | August 13, 2012 at 01:57 PM
I can see why you'd like to get rid of that jar.
Posted by: blue girl | August 13, 2012 at 02:49 PM
I'm a saver, too, BG, and can relate to all of your reasons, worries, woes... :) I try to be more ruthless, but on some days it's challenging. I am happy though that my one dog saved me from saving EL's umbilical cord. :) Snarf!!!
Posted by: Jennifer | August 15, 2012 at 01:51 PM
Ha! Although I'll bet you were freaked out when it happened!
We got *ruthless* a few weeks before the move. And now I have so many regrets! I accumulated things over the years *for a reason.* Not just for the fun of it. AND NOW I NEED THEM. :)
For example, my decorative iron fence-like pieces that I bought at a flea market years ago. Just left those behind. Who cares?! I thought in the dead of winter as we were packing up the moving van?
Well, I care now! I have awesome Morning Glories that would grow so beautifully on those iron pieces!! They would be perfect for this little garden I have now.
*Sigh*
All of a sudden, Eddie Money popped into my head:
I wanna go back (go back)
And do it all over
But I can't go back
I know
*Sigh Squared*
Posted by: blue girl | August 15, 2012 at 06:22 PM
My mother once told me, "Genius, watch out. You'll meet a lovely woman, you'll get a nice place together, and then she'll fill it up with all this stuff, the only purpose of which is to fill space. Then she will complain about having to move all the stuff every time. This is always the fault of the woman in the relationship. I did it, your sister-in-law is doing it, and I'm sure that any woman you meet, and you don't have to meet her right now but that would be nice, she will do it, too. And you'll just have to put up with it, or be better at losing stuff than your father."
And you know my mother was right.
Posted by: Chuckles | August 17, 2012 at 11:23 AM
I am going to find a way to lose our dog.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | August 17, 2012 at 03:11 PM
Chuckles, your mother would totally understand why I couldn't THROW AWAY MY BELOVED GRANDMOTHER'S HAND-SEWN LINENS. Ask her. And then please report back.
Don't throw your dog away, ZRM! (Only Republicans would do such a thing.)
Posted by: blue girl | August 17, 2012 at 04:26 PM
Learn about how my friend's one day with a Buddhist monk changed his life, helped him become a CEO and redefined his idea of success:
http://www.nextgreatestspeaker.com/profile.cfm?aid=72
Posted by: Dora | August 26, 2012 at 05:57 AM
The Buddhist CEO probably just rents a warehouse for all his extra stuff. It's a 1% thang...
Posted by: mikey | August 26, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Would a Buddhist CEO rent a warehouse? I'm thinking he'd rent a much cooler thing. :)
Posted by: blue girl | August 27, 2012 at 09:48 PM
I saw a new post.
I SAW IT!
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | September 03, 2012 at 12:13 PM
I did too. Thunder's not gone crazy.
THIS time.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | September 03, 2012 at 12:22 PM
You two are not crazy. (How funny of me to write those words!)
I couldn't get the YouTuber embedded correctly. Stupid html!!!
And ZRM, you were mentioned in the post. Just imagine, you would have been famous. Damn that html.
Posted by: blue girl | September 03, 2012 at 01:03 PM
BREAKING NEWS:
1) ZRM will be happy to know my computer is broken again. I may have to start Kindling.
2) I have a new favorite song. It's from 2012.
Posted by: blue girl | September 03, 2012 at 01:10 PM
Here's my new favorite song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPZ40bu6P0Y
Posted by: blue girl | September 03, 2012 at 01:12 PM
Sent you an email, beege.
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | September 03, 2012 at 01:35 PM
so thunder IS crazy?
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | September 03, 2012 at 03:04 PM
Well, some of his deck *is* inside the house.
Posted by: blue girl | September 03, 2012 at 04:26 PM
Thanks, thunder! Let me see if it works.
Posted by: blue girl | September 03, 2012 at 04:28 PM
DON'T LET HIM TALK YOU INTO POURING WINE INTO THE COMPUTER!!!
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | September 03, 2012 at 08:31 PM
That's what I do to make my youtubers work.
Wot's the problem, zrm?
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | September 03, 2012 at 09:26 PM
Still don't see a new post making me a star.
Looks like the wine didn't work. Try tequila; that usually works for me. As you can tell if you read my posts.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | September 05, 2012 at 01:58 PM
Tequila would make me an angry blogger.
Posted by: blue girl | September 05, 2012 at 07:54 PM
I gotta take Anne Lamott's advice on writing: Butt in chair.
Posted by: blue girl | September 05, 2012 at 07:55 PM
Tequila would make me an angry blogger.
yeah. That's usually what I'm going for.
Posted by: zombie rotten mcdonald | September 06, 2012 at 11:26 AM
You are a happy happy zombie blogger, zrm.
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | September 07, 2012 at 11:16 AM
I tend to be a saver to ..up to a point. Eventually, I get pissed off and throw it all out.
I had a bunch of old fabric and linens that belonged to my Nonna. (my great-grandmother Maria). I didn't know what the heck to do with them as having 4 kiddos doesn't really let you get too creative with decorating with delicate fabrics.
A friend was over one day and I had them all out. She admired them so I told her (though it broke my heart), that she could have whatever she wanted out of it. She took a bunch of things and about a week later, showed back up with a bag/purse made out of it all. It's fab and I use it all of the time.
((Hugs))
Laura
Posted by: Laura | September 15, 2012 at 03:04 PM
She took a bunch of things and about a week later, showed back up with a bag/purse made out of it all. It's fab and I use it all of the time.
That's wonderful, Laura! What a creative and thoughtful friend.
And now you've given me a good comeback to The Skimmer when he bugs me about my stuff: "You could make me something out of it, geez!" :)
Posted by: blue girl | September 16, 2012 at 07:46 PM
I think there was a sunset last night....
~
Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | September 25, 2012 at 04:00 AM
There was?! Oh no!
Posted by: blue girl | September 25, 2012 at 06:16 AM