blue girl

Saturday Morning

Sigh

Pretty Little Beach Houses

Pretty little million dollar beach houses. 

Hey.  They sleep 8 - 12!

Hollywood Blockbuster Guy

Monday at the beach, The Skimmer and I were lying on our beach chairs, reading.

I said, "Are you skimming?  Or are you reading?"

"I'm reading.  Is it ok for me to dogear my pages?"

"Of course.  What, are you afraid the book police are going to see you?"

"Well, I like to respect my books."

"Well, then, read the words and don't skim them!  That's the best way to respect them."

"I am reading!"

"I love to put my mark on my books.  Dig in to them.  Dogear the pages, underline things.  I like to eat my books up.  Kowp, kowp, kowp!"

"You know, this guy is going into too much backstory here."

"You want to go in the water?  What do you mean, too much backstory?"

We walked down to the water.

"I don't care about Amy's brother's son's problems.  Or where Joe Blow went to college!"

"He's just trying to let you get to know the characters!"

"I don't care!  Where's the monster who's going to kill them all!?  That's all I care about."

"Oh my God.  You are Hollywood Blockbuster Guy!"

"Listen Miss Subtitles, the monster better show up soon or I'm dumping out of this book."

Tuesday.

The Skimmer said, "Oh no.  I broke the binding."

"That's ok!  That's good.  Means it's really your book!"

"You and I are so different.  We have some things in common, but when it comes to stuff like this, we're just different."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're just weird, thinking it's ok to destroy a book like that."

"It's not destruction.  It means it's yours.  Kowp!"

By Wednesday, because of the salty, humid air, The Skimmer's book had broken into four different pieces.  Then, finally the cover came off.

He was lying there reading each little section while the other pieces of his book were crammed into the beach bag.  The book was truly his.

"I don't even think I could read a book like that."

"I have to.  Can't stop now.  The monster's killing everyone!  From the inside out.  It's disgusting."

"Well, I'm happy for you, Hollywood Blockbuster Guy."

Swim with Caution

Why does the sign say, "Swim with caution"?

Because of gigantic sea monsters like this that are floating around in the ocean! 

I was expecting to see Sigourney Weaver  lying close by.  Or that crazed hippie scientist from Independence Day to come running up at any minute.

The teenage boy standing next to me said, "Sweeeeet."

I just said, "Ew!  Gross!  Gack!  Ick.  Blah.  Blech!"

And then I ran away.

Ok.  I swam away.  Fast.  Of course thinking of this sea monster and Jaws.

People Watching and Beach Reading

I could write a little post about all the people watching we did down at the beach today.  Human beings in all sizes -- from XS all the way up to XXXL. 

Personally, I was partial to the XS variety.  Especially this one, who looked to be 4 - 5 months old.  She wore a hot pink and white flowered bikini with a matching floppy hat that tied beneath her chin.  She had thighs to die for and was chewing on her hands like crazy; drool and sand all mixed together.

Coincidentally, The Skimmer was partial to the human beings in bright bikinis, too, who also had thighs to die for.  They were more the M - L variety.  In this case, though, it was The Skimmer who was chewing on his hands and drooling.

Yeah, I could write about all of that in detail -- how a lot of the M - XL human beings were bouncing around playing beach volleyball and throwing footballs around, all tan and oiled up, but that would be boring, don't you think?

Instead, let's talk about Karl Rove.  I'd take a break from people watching and read Lessons of a Failed Presidency, Why Karl Rove Couldn't Deliver by Joshua Green from the September issue of The Atlantic.

Here's an excerpt:

Rove's behavior toward Congress stood out.  "Every once in a while Rove would come to leadership meetings, and he definitely considered himself at least an equal with the leaders in the room," a Republican aide told me.  "But you have to understand that Congress is a place where a certain decorum is expected.  Even in private, staff is still staff.  Rove would come and chime in as if he were equal to the speaker.  Cheney sometimes came, too, and was far more deferential than Rove -- and he was the vice president."  Other aides say Rove was notorious for interrupting congressional leaders and calling them by their first name.

Dick Armey, the House Republican majority leader when Bush took office (and no more a shrinking violet than DeLay), told me a story that captures the exquisite pettiness of most members of Congress and the arrogance that made Bush and Rove so inept at handling them.  "For all the years he was president," Armey told me, "Bill Clinton and I had a little thing we'd do where every time I went to the White House, I would take the little name tag they give you and pass it to the president, who, without saying a word, would sign and date it.  Bill Clinton and I didn't like each other.  He knew that when I left his office, the first school kid I came across would be given that card, and some kid who had come to Washington with his mama would go home with the president's autograph.  I think Clinton thought it was a nice thing to do for some kid, and he was happy to do it."  Armey said that when he went to his first meeting in the White House with President Bush, he explained the tradition with Clinton and asked the president if he would care to continue it.  "Bush refused to sign the card.  Rove, who was sitting across the table, said, 'It would probably wind up on eBay'", Armey continued.  "Do I give a damn?  No.  But can you imagine refusing a simple request like that with an insult?  It's stupid.  From the point of view of your own self-interest, it's stupid.  I was from Texas, and I was the majority leader.  If my expectations of civility and collegiality were disappointed, what do you think it was like for the rest of the congressmen they dealt with?  The Bush White House was tone-deaf to the normal courtesies of the office."

What small men.  XS hearts and minds with XXXL egos.  I can't wait till every last one of them is gone.  It can't happen soon enough.

Because I Can't Quit Writing for You

Wishful Thinking

I was just sitting out on the balcony, watching a family play horseshoes down on the beach.  Blue Kid opened the patio door.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you know Karl Rove is resigning?"

"Yeah."

"Why is he?"

"Who knows what his evil plans are."

"Why are you looking like that?"

"I'm thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"Well, maybe if we take a couple more vacations, Bush & Cheney will both resign.  Maybe we're magic!"

Blue Kid closed the patio door and went back inside.  And I sat there and thought how great that would be.

Oh, the Humanity

Oh, the half naked side of humanity.

Actually?  It's sort of fun.

Le Bleu